Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops. — Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
In real life, as in Grand Opera, arias only make hopeless situations worse. — Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect. — Mark Twain
Liberals and Conservatives
If you want to take my guns away from me, and you’re all for murdering fetuses, and love it when homosexuals marry each other, and want to give them kitchen appliances at their showers, and you’re for the poor, you’re a liberal. If you are against those perversions and for the rich, you’re a conservative. What could be simpler?
E-Mails Reveal Early White House Worries Over Solyndra
A Solyndra investor, in an e-mail sent to the White House in late 2009, asked why the government had been willing to offer the solar start-up so much money.
“One of our solar companies with revenues of less than $100 million (and not yet profitable) received a government loan of $580 million,” the investor, Brad Jones of Redpoint Ventures, wrote in December 2009 to Lawrence H. Summers, then the president’s chief economic adviser, referring to Solyndra. “While that is good for us, I can’t imagine it’s a good way for the government to use taxpayer money.”
The investment, Mr. Jones said, demonstrated broad problems with the government loan program. “The allocation of spending to clean energy is haphazard; the government is just not well equipped to decide which companies should get the money and how much,” he wrote.
If a company like Solyndra can generate energy at competitive prices, why would they need $580 million in government aid?
And if they can’t generate energy at competitive prices, how are they going to pay back the loan?
“What’s terrifying is that after looking at some of the ones that came next, this one started to look better,” said one April 2010 e-mail, referring to the Solyndra decision, and others that followed. “Bad days are coming.”
Bokononism
“Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before,” Bokonon tells us. “He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.”
Overheard
How Are Things Going?
You go up to a man, and you say, “How are things going, Joe?” and he says, “Oh fine, fine — couldn’t be better.” And you look into his eyes, and you see things really couldn’t be much worse. When you get right down to it, everybody’s having a perfectly lousy time of it, and I mean everybody. And the hell of it is, nothing seems to help much.
In Praise of the Fighters
Those who are weak don’t fight.
Those who are stronger might fight for an hour.
Those who are stronger still might fight for many years.
The strongest fight their whole life.
They are the indispensable ones.
Craftsmanship over Crap. — Uncle Bob
Who Pays for Dinner?
I’m listening to a couple of women talking about their new beaus and who should pay for the dinner dates in a budding relationship.
Man pays? Take turns? 50/50?
For what it’s worth, ladies, back when I was dating, I paid for the food, but depending on how the rest of the evening played out, I might have to say, “In that case, pay me back for the sandwiches.”
Catchiest Song Ever?
“Sunny Side of the Street,” right?
I’ve had it in my head for three hours and now I need to be lobotomized . . .
INVEST in Good Stories
What are the characteristics of a good user story?
Bill Wake developed the INVEST acronym:
- I – Independent
- N – Negotiable
- V – Valuable
- E – Estimable
- S – Small
- T – Testable
For a short description of each attribute, see Wake’s excellent article.
Aside
Why are dead people always described as “looking down and smiling”? Surely some of them must be looking up and screaming.
A Sad Interview
I did a phone interview today with a programming candidate. Of the first six questions I asked him — and I don’t start with the hard questions — he gave a halfway correct answer to one.
I tried to wrap things up with some easier questions so he could end on a positive note. I struggled to find a question he could answer. It was a sad interview.
I saw from his résumé that he’d recently ended a 10-year run in a corporate IT department. Corporate IT departments are usually not on the leading edge of anything, and I have to surmise that he didn’t put in the necessary time to keep up with things on his own.
I don’t know how good he was 10 years ago, but at this point, he’s out of work, his skills are stale, and he’s going to have a tough time in the job market.
I’ve spent a lot of my own time over the years reading things and working things out on the computer, creating untold domestic conflict in the process. It’s a battle.
It’s easy to let your career slip away from you . . .
Thus spoke The Programmer.
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
Anyone who uses the word “surface” to mean “put forward for consideration,” e.g., “I’d like to surface a topic.”
If you must use “surface” as a verb, I’m okay with you surfacing a driveway or surfacing a submarine, but if you’re going around surfacing topics, then you really need to leave the world immediately . . .
Aside
Drew Magary: “I do what I fucking want, which should be the first and last stupid retarded ‘man law’ ever.”
Diversity Bake Sale Sparks Controversy
Despite massive outcries of protest from campus organizations, the Berkeley College Republicans are adamant in going ahead with their controversial bake sale.
The sale — intended as a satirical response to the affirmative action-like SB 185 currently awaiting Gov. Jerry Brown’s signature — will involve baked goods that are priced by race and sex. Under the pricing structure, white students would have to pay $2.00 for a pastry, for example, while Latinos would pay $1.00 and Native Americans would pay $0.25. Women would receive a blanket 25 cent discount.
I love it! “Massive outcries of protest”! “Controversial bake sale”!
The lack of perspective is staggering. It’s okay to favor kids of one race over another in college admissions, just don’t try it with something truly important like the price of a cupcake . . .
The Father of the Year Competition is Heating Up
NEWPORT BEACH A man accused of becoming angered at his 7-year-old son and tossing him off a boat during a harbor cruise pleaded not guilty Monday to felony child endangerment.
Sloane Steven Briles, 35, of Irvine, is accused of being under the influence of alcohol and poking his son in the chest and repeatedly slapping him in the face before tossing him about 10 feet off the boat and into the path of oncoming boat traffic.
Prosecutors say he made no attempt to save his son and jumped off the boat only to avoid angry passengers on the Queen.
A boat had to maneuver to avoid striking the boy, who treaded water before a captain on another boat tossed him a life ring, according to prosecutors.
In interviews with television reporters following his arrest, Briles said he and his son were just playing around and that they both decided to jump into the harbor for fun.
Is it Good Etiquette to Call Someone a Cocksucker?
The rivalry between the Flyers and Rangers turned ugly in a penalty-filled preseason game that also appeared to include a homophobic slur from Philadelphia’s Wayne Simmonds to noted New York agitator Sean Avery.
I suppose that means he called him a faggot. The writer should probably look up the word “homophobic.”
I don’t know exactly when it became out of bounds to call someone a faggot, but I know Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 for the same thing last season.
Is it okay to call a guy a cocksucker? I think that’s okay. It’s essentially the same thing as calling him a faggot, but I think it’s still okay to call someone a cocksucker.
Or to say “Suck my dick, motherfucker.” In fact, I think you could say “Suck my dick, you motherfucking cunt-lipped cocksucker” and still be within the bounds of decorum.
Just don’t call someone a faggot because that’s offensive.