Sit down and be quiet. You are drunk and this is the edge of the roof. — Rumi
Aside
Daily Affirmation: If you’re reading this, then nothing you’ve encountered so far has killed you.
A Message for My Followers
Do not let swallows nest in your roof, and under no circumstances are you to eat your own dog.
NARCh 2011 – Day 4
Semifinal: Devil Dogs vs. Tour Stealth
Both teams played a strong game. The Devil Dogs gave up the first goal, evened it up at 1-1, then allowed the go-ahead goal with about four minutes left.
They had some chances to tie it back up but couldn’t make it happen.
Stealth added an empty-net goal with two seconds left.
Final Score: Stealth 3, Devil Dogs 1
Semifinal: Choice Inline Selects vs. Top Gun
I didn’t see this game because I was watching the Devil Dog semi so I can’t tell you anything about it other than the final score.
Final Score: Selects 4, Top Gun 2
Bronze Medal Game: Devil Dogs vs. Top Gun
Three of the four teams in the semifinals win a medal — gold, silver or bronze. One team — the loser of the bronze medal game — doesn’t.
Coming into this game, I was trying to figure out how to convince my kid, if his team lost, that even though they ended the tournament with two losses and came away with nothing, they still played a great tournament — better than all but three of the teams in the country.
As it turned out, I didn’t have to do that.
The Devil Dogs were quite a bit better than Top Gun and dominated the game. They were faster and stronger and got to every puck first.
My boy scored the last goal of the game. I’ve watched him play a lot of games and score a lot of goals over the last 12 years or so but he’s starting college in a few weeks and his future hockey plans are uncertain at this time. It may be the last goal he ever scores.
Final Score: Devil Dogs 6, Top Gun 0
Final: Choice Inline Selects vs. Tour Stealth
Both teams are strong defensively. The game was scoreless until midway through the second period. Stealth took a 1-0 lead and the Selects tied it 1-1 with 1:13 left in the game.
It looked like the game was headed for overtime when the top shooter from Stealth fired a perfect wrist shot into the top left corner of the net, past the best goalie in the division, to win the tournament with 1.1 seconds remaining.
Final Score: Stealth 2, Selects 1
My expectations for this Devil Dog team started out pretty low. They haven’t been a powerhouse team this season. The goaltending and discipline have been subpar at times.
They hadn’t won a tournament in a while even in local and regional events, so my hopes were not high for their ability to compete at the national level.
At the beginning of the tournament, my hope was that they would at least win a game.
When they won a game, I hoped that they would win another game. Then I hoped they would make the playoffs. Then I hoped they would make the semifinals and then I hoped that they would win a medal.
I just saw all the kids eating pizza in the lobby of the hotel here so I took the opportunity to tell them that they’re great players, they’ve got a lot of heart, and I’ve really enjoyed watching them play.
That’s it from Florida, where the weather’s been great except for the heat, humidity and thunderstorms.
Heading back home in the morning . . .
Amy Winehouse, 1983-2011
Amy Winehouse found dead aged 27 in London home
I know what they say about death and taxes but I don’t want to be “found dead.” It sounds dismal.
For musicians, 27 seems to be a good age to die.
NARCh 2011 – Day 3
Devil Dogs vs. Tour Roadrunners 93 (NY)
The Devil Dogs came into the fourth and final round-robin game with two wins and a loss, needing at least a tie to clinch a playoff spot.
The game didn’t start off well for the Dogs. They trailed 3-1 after the first period, their goalie had let in a bad goal on a long slapshot, and they’d missed on some good scoring opportunities.
They were also coming off a disappointing loss the night before, so I was proud of their mental toughness in coming back to tie the game 3-3 with about three minutes left.
A Roadrunner player took an untimely penalty with 1:37 left in the game. The Dogs were able to control the puck on the power play until, with 11 seconds remaining, they scored on a one-timer off a cross-rink pass for the game-winning goal.
Final Score: Devil Dogs 4, Roadrunners 3
Playoffs
That wraps up the round-robin portion of the competition. The top 10 teams get to stick around for playoffs.
- Choice Inline Selects (NJ)
- Alkali NC (NC)
- ISCA Grizzlies (NJ)
- Gladiators (PA)
- Revision Devil Dogs (CA)
- Tour Stealth (CO)
- Tour Roadrunners 93 (NY)
- Bandits Hockey Club (CA)
- Top Gun (NY)
- Mile High Mustangs (CO)
The top six seeds go straight to the quarterfinals. The other quarterfinalists are determined by 7-vs-10 and 8-vs-9 playoff games, which both went to the lower seed:
Mile High Mustangs 6, Roadrunners 2
Top Gun 6, Bandits 3
Quarterfinal: Choice Inline Selects (1) vs. Mile High Mustangs (10)
The Mustangs were the only team to score against the Selects in round-robin play, although they still lost the game. Chalk up another shutout for the Selects in this one.
Final Score: Selects 1, Mustangs 0
Quarterfinal: Alkali NC (2) vs. Top Gun (9)
Alkali was undefeated in round-robin, including a win against Top Gun, but they are outta here.
Final Score: Top Gun 2, Alkali 1
Quarterfinal: ISCA Grizzlies (3) vs. Tour Stealth (6)
Another upset. The Grizzlies were also undefeated (with one tie) in round-robin. I didn’t like them because the families were a bunch of Jersey Shore loudmouths.
Final Score: Stealth 3, Grizzlies 0
Quarterfinal: Gladiators (4) vs. Revision Devil Dogs (5)
Another poor start for the Devil Dogs. They went down 2-0 in the first three minutes, then rallied to win.
They’re in the semifinals tomorrow morning against Tour Stealth.
Final Score: Devil Dogs 6, Gladiators 4
NARCh 2011 – Day 2
Two more round-robin games today, morning and evening . . .
Devil Dogs 6, Detroit Mission Stars 2
Devil Dogs played a great game, best I’ve seen them play this season.
ISCA Grizzlies (NJ) 5, Devil Dogs 3
The Grizzlies are a good, fast team. That said, the Devil Dogs played a subpar game.
Tomorrow is a critical day. Final round-robin games in the morning, after which the top teams start the single-elimination playoff rounds.
By the end of the day, only four teams will be left standing.
If the Devil Dogs win their last round-robin game, they’ll be in the playoffs at 3-1. If they lose, they’ll be 2-2 and could still get a low playoff seed, but it will be a close call . . .
NARCh 2011 – Day 1
Devil Dogs 5, MKS (Colombia) 1
The Devil Dogs played their first round-robin game today.
Latin American roller hockey teams typically have a) raucous supporters, b) kids who look suspiciously old for their age, and c) an up-tempo style of play like they’re jacked up on coke, which they probably are.
The first time you see this, you say to yourself, or to someone sitting next to you, “There’s no way they can play at that speed the whole game. They’ll wear themselves out.”
But sure enough, they do play that speed the whole game.
Having said that, the MKS kids all looked age-appropriate, and while they had some fast players, they didn’t maintain the non-stop, end-to-end pace that I expected.
NARCh 2011 – Travel Day
LA to Houston
We’re waiting at LAX for a flight to Houston when a large black man in his 20s sits down near us in the waiting area.
“I could take that guy one-on-one,” my kid announces.
I’m about to mention to him that not every big black dude is necessarily a basketball player when he says, “Wait a minute, isn’t that Mario Williams?”
I have to admit to him that I wouldn’t recognize Mario Williams if I saw him.
He pulls up a photo of Mario Williams on his iPhone. “Yeah,” I say, “that does look like him.”
“And he’s waiting for a flight to Houston? That’s got to be Mario Williams.”
The final clue is that the guy is decked out in Adidas gear from head to toe. A Google search for “mario williams adidas” on the iPhone reveals that Mario Williams has a sponsorship deal with Adidas.
So we’re pretty sure we saw Mario Williams at the airport.
Houston to Florida
Continental changed up the seat assignments . . . the boy ends up in Row 8 while I’m back in Row 26.
“I’m way ahead of you,” he says. “I can pick up the rental car and drive to the hotel before you even get off the plane.”
“Now . . . This”
“Now . . . this” is commonly used on radio and television newscasts to indicate that what one has just heard or seen has no relevance to what one is about to hear or see, or possibly to anything one is likely to hear or see. . . . There is no murder so brutal, no earthquake so devastating, no political blunder so costly–for that matter, no ball score so tantalizing or weather report so threatening–that it cannot be erased from our minds by a newscaster saying “Now . . . this.” The newscaster means that you have thought long enough on the previous matter (approximately forty-five seconds), that you must not be morbidly preoccupied with it (let us say, for ninety seconds), and that you must now give your attention to another fragment of news or a commercial.
Huxley Was Right
In Huxley’s vision, no Big Brother is required to deprive people of their autonomy, maturity and history. As he saw it, people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think.
What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. . . . Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.
Pug Meetup
There was a pug meetup at the Irvine dog park today. Here’s a picture of me with some of my pug friends.
The funny thing is we didn’t even know there was a pug meetup. We just showed up and there it was!
It’s a lucky day for me! I’m going to buy a lotto ticket LOL!
This Goes to Show You the Importance of a Good Night’s Sleep
“MMMMFFF! AAUUGGHHHH!”
“What’s the matter?”
“I’m so sleepy, I put face cream on my toothbrush!”
“Did you also rub toothpaste on your face?”
“Not yet.”
Any Lawyers Out There Want This Case?
The boys arrived back from their graduation trip, but missed their connecting flight in Philly, which seems to be the rule rather than the exception for U.S. Airways.
They were able to get on a later flight — to Los Angeles though, not Orange County — so the parents drove out to pick them up at LAX at 11:45 p.m.
“We should sue the airline,” one of the moms said.
“That’s a good idea,” I replied, not because I thought it was a good idea, but because I wanted to hear the plan.
“Five sets of parents have to drive all the way to Los Angeles,” she said. “Gas is expensive! Then there’s punitive damages. Frustration. Loss of income.”
“How is there a loss of income?”
“Some parents might have to work at night. You don’t know.”
“How much do you think we should get — a million dollars?”
“No,” she scoffed, like I was being ridiculous. “Two hundred thousand.”
What Happened to the Hippies? Where Are They?
On behalf of UC Berkeley we are sending this message to Cal families to update you on recent news regarding the 2011-12 tuition . . .
A 9.6 PERCENT TUITION INCREASE!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A BUNCH OF GODDAMN HIPPIES WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT MONEY!
Northwood 2011 College Decisions
Unlike highly recruited athletes, kids who are highly recruited academically don’t get to go on TV and turn over hats so everyone knows what college they’re going to.
Northwood doesn’t have highly recruited athletes, so there’s a Facebook site where they can check in and state their college choice.
Also unlike athletes, who are evaluated on a 5-star scale, Northwood students are evaluated on a 3-star scale, according to the commencement program that I have right here in front of me:
*** = Highest honors (4.3 GPA or above) ** = High honors (4.0 or above, but below 4.3) * = Honors (Not sure; close to a 4.0 but not quite there)
It looks like Cal got the best recruiting class this year with three 3-star prospects and no one lower than 2 stars. USC and Stanford each got one 3-star recruit, as did Harvard and Yale.
To the kids going to Cal: GO BEARS!
To the kids going to USC: FIGHT ON!
To the kids going to Stanford: CONGRATULATIONS DORKS!
To everyone else: BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!
And to the girls below: I don’t know you but you made me laugh . . .
I’ve Got an Idea for a TV Show
MEXICO (PIX11) — Mexican drug traffickers are abducting bus passengers and forcing them to fight each other like gladiators according to published reports. The winners of the fights are then ordered to become assassins.
This would make GREAT television! I’m pitching it as a reality show/game show hybrid.
Working title: Who Wants to be a Mexican Hit Man?
Five Guys in Europe: Thank You, Parents
It’s a video update!
Aside
Sounds Better Than it Really Is Award: Free Slurpee Day — It turns out that a “slurpee” is actually a beverage . . .
Aside
If you’re fat, don’t say you “work out,” just say you “exercise.”