Play Ball
Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
It is essential not to profess to know, or seem to know, or accept that someone else knows, that which is unknown. Almost without exception, the things that end up coming back to haunt you are things you pretended to understand but didn’t early on. At virtually every stage of even the most successful software projects, there are large numbers of very important things that are unknown. It is acceptable, even mandatory, to clearly articulate your ignorance, so that no one misunderstands the corporate state of unknowingness. If you do not disseminate this “lucid ignorance,” disaster will surely befall you.
Human nature is such that we dislike not knowing things that are important to our well being. Since there is so much we don’t know in a software project, the nearly universal tendency among developers and their managers is to gloss over or even deny altogether the extent of their ignorance. You should reward and treasure those who consistently make themselves aware of the list of relevant things that are currently unknown. It requires mental and psychological strength to resist the normal human cravings for certainty and order. It especially difficult to believe in uncertainty when things have a veneer of orderliness, which is often the case. Pseudo-order is a maladapted defense against uncertainty.
The organization surrounding you will undoubtedly abhor uncertainty, would infinitely prefer pseudo-order and will make countless attempts to magically convert your ignorance to knowledge. Your job is to make uncertainty an unshakable fact, and to coerce the reshaping of the surrounding organization to cope with the uncertain situation. The organization must learn to thrive in an uncertain environment for its own well being.
You should expend a great deal of effort making sure that all the people on the project are aware of their ignorance rather than naively converting it to falsehoods. Bear down on them until they realize they haven’t comprehensively assessed the unknowns. In the successful project, this is much easier in the early stages, or during times of change. This is no time for niceties. People ultimately prefer success even if disillusionment is a prerequisite.
It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult. — Seneca
Motherf-ing Cats
My son comes back from watching African Cats for “field hours” . . .
“How was the movie?” I ask.
“Pretty good. Samuel L. Jackson was narrating it.”
“He was? Did he say ‘Get these motherf-ing cats off this motherf-ing plain’?”
“No.”
“‘Plain’ — get it? A flat expanse of land?”
Aside
Is today National Make a Left Turn Into Oncoming Traffic Day? Because I saw a lot of that on the way in this morning . . .
Field Hours
It has come to my attention that Northwood High kids can get “field hours” for Environmental Science by visiting zoos and watching movies at the Spectrum.
How lame is that? Shouldn’t they have to rescue a seagull or something?
Voice-Activated Copiers
We just got new copiers at the office. They have 900 features, which makes it hard for people to figure out how to access the one feature they really want, i.e., making a copy.
My office is close to one of the copy rooms, so when I hear someone in there struggling with the new copier, I go in and tell them it’s voice-activated.
“Just say your name and the number of copies you want.”
“Jodi Smith. Two copies.”
Nothing happens.
“I don’t think you’re authorized to make copies. Get Debbie down here and have her try it.”
Update: We had training classes today on how to use the copiers. I’m dating myself here but I can actually remember when it was possible to operate a copier without a training class.
A Personal Companion
Pugs don’t hunt, bring back game or herd. They were always simply bred to be a personal companion. That’s all they’re good for, but that’s worth a lot.
Amazon’s $23,698,655.93 (Plus Shipping) Book About Flies
Via The Berkeley Blog:
Loved or Feared
Most of what Machiavelli said made sense, but certain things stick out wrong — like when he offers the wisdom that it’s better to be feared than loved, it kind of makes you wonder if Machiavelli was thinking big. I know what he meant, but sometimes in life, someone who is loved can inspire more fear than Machiavelli ever dreamed of.
Another Reason I Like to Phone in My Order
POLICE: Louisville woman pulls sword at Pizza Hut
Aside
I’m dating myself here, but I can actually remember when it was possible to operate a copier without taking a training class.
Aside
Just because a pot calls you black doesn’t mean you’re a kettle. Maybe you’re BOTH pots.
Taj Gibson’s Twitter Background
You’ve Seen the Video . . .
What I do not understand is whether the world really needed you. Who knows? Perhaps one supernumerary less would have spoiled the human tragedy. — Machado de Assis, Epitaph of a Small Winner
SharedVision
The principal effects of SharedVision derive from the group’s continuous validation that an object of compelling beauty and importance can be, and will be, achieved by its combined thinking and intense, concerted action. Attempting a goal like that typically found in a vision statement of this class of team requires substantial ambition.
The SharedVision object is something that each team member would most likely see as impossible to attain on an individual basis, were it not for the ongoing validation and sustained support of the other team members. The object itself is — or at least becomes — loaded with supreme meaning for the team. Nothing is more important.
The team’s commitment to attaining the SharedVision object is a passionate one. So animated is the team’s fervor that the only real difference between a shared delusion and a SharedVision is the rational, step-by-step behavior of those experiencing the vision, which contrasts with the irrational and often random behavior of those experiencing a delusion. When examining the team besotted with a SharedVision, a third-party observer might decide that, although the fulfillment of the team’s ambition is unlikely, it is just possible that members of this group could achieve it. “If anybody can do it,” the observer might well say, “this team can.”
What Should I Do With This Information?
Just after a big fight with my wife, caused by me accusing her of losing something that belongs to me, I found the thing on the nightstand next to my bed.
Should I a) Say, “Honey, just to show you how funny life can be sometimes, look what I found!” or b) Take the information to my grave?
HW’s Book Reviews: Go the Fuck to Sleep
If you think saying “fuck” to a toddler is the funniest thing ever, and evidently a lot of people do judging from the rave reviews on Facebook, then you’ll love this book.
SPOILER ALERT: The joke is that infants don’t have the same sleep patterns as grownups — ha ha — which is breaking news to this hapless unfit shithead of a parent, who spews page after page of rhymed obscenities at his child.
I didn’t say “fuck” to my kid until he was a teenager, and even then it wasn’t to be funny.
Seriously: Children are a gift from God and I don’t even believe in God. I love the time that my son and I were boys together more than I love anything.
If you think there’s anything clever or funny about this book, please stay away from me . . .
What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now. — Buddha