Did You Know? Shelvin Mack has brothers named Floorin, Roofin and Drywall.
Shelvin and Nasir
Regarding bonehead fouls in the last two seconds of the Pittsburgh-Butler game, I don’t look for guys named Shelvin or Nasir to make heady decisions in the clutch . . .
Meeting Ron Artest
My kid and a few of his high school friends are on their way to see Ron Artest at Living Spaces in Irvine. He’s doing a meet and greet from 3:00 to 5:00.
What kind of advertising is that? Those kids don’t have money to buy furniture.
What Is Government?
To be GOVERNED is to be watched, inspected, spied upon, directed, law-driven, numbered, regulated, enrolled, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, checked, estimated, valued, censured, commanded, by creatures who have neither the right nor the wisdom nor the virtue to do so. To be GOVERNED is to be at every operation, at every transaction noted, registered, counted, taxed, stamped, measured, numbered, assessed, licensed, authorized, admonished, prevented, forbidden, reformed, corrected, punished. It is, under pretext of public utility, and in the name of the general interest, to be placed under contribution, drilled, fleeced, exploited, monopolized, extorted from, squeezed, hoaxed, robbed; then, at the slightest resistance, the first word of complaint, to be repressed, fined, vilified, harassed, hunted down, abused, clubbed, disarmed, bound, choked, imprisoned, judged, condemned, shot, deported, sacrificed, sold, betrayed; and to crown all, mocked, ridiculed, derided, outraged, dishonored. That is government; that is its justice; that is its morality.
Patience
Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith.
EppsNet at the Movies: Out of the Past
Kathie Moffat: Oh, Jeff, I don’t want to die!
Jeff Bailey: Neither do I, baby, but if I have to, I’m gonna die last.
The absence of sentimentality is essential to the film noir.
Everyone was so young in this one: Robert Mitchum, Kirk Douglas. Great black-and-white cinematography and a classic final scene with the girl and the kid at the gas station.
Rating: Five stars (out of five)
How to Be a Genius
You have to keep a dozen of your favorite problems constantly present in your mind, although by and large they will lay in a dormant state. Every time you hear or read a new trick or a new result, test it against each of your twelve problems to see whether it helps. Every once in a while there will be a hit, and people will say, “How did he do it? He must be a genius!”
Queueing Theory
Put four fat chicks in one car and you can slow the normally brisk pace of the McDonald’s drive-thru lane down to an absolute crawl . . .
Alpha Dogs Eat First
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!
Dinner time is my favorite time of the day! Delicious food moves from the kitchen to the dining room table and if anyone turns their back on it for a second, I launch myself onto a chair and grab some.
Tonight I got a tasty chunk of salmon!
“Lightning is a bad dog,” the boy says. “Joseph’s dog never tries to eat their food.”
“Lightning is an alpha dog,” my owner says, “and alpha dogs eat first. Joseph’s dog is a pussy. He’s so far down the chain of dominance, there aren’t enough letters in the Greek alphabet to categorize him.”
— Lightning 
A Couple of Schillers
A couple of Schillers resigned from NPR after one of them said (among other things):
Tea Party people aren’t just Islamaphobic, but really xenophobic, I mean basically they are, they believe in sort of white, middle-America gun-toting. I mean, it’s scary. They’re seriously racist, racist people.
Well really . . . I haven’t been this shocked since Claude Rains discovered gambling at Rick’s Cafe.
It shakes my belief system to the core to think that someone who works at NPR believes that Tea Party members are scary white gun-toting racists.
Although come to think of it, everyone I know who listens to NPR believes that Tea Party members are scary white gun-toting racists.
These guys really need to give up the federal funding. They could go full bore in promoting their mission and stop pretending to respect the common folk, who in turn would be relieved of the burden of paying for it.
P.S. If it’s real bigotry you’re looking for, film a liberal when he thinks no one but other liberals can hear him.
P.P.S. We had a bus driver in grade school named Mr. Schiller. Real angry German guy. Probably no relation.
Allergy Shots
My vet says I have to go on allergy shots! I’M AN ALPHA DOG NOT A CANINE PIN CUSHION!
GRRRRRRRR!
— Lightning
Overheard
Northwood Basketball Awards
Here are the awards from last night’s basketball banquet at the Tustin Ranch Golf Club.
Take Me to the Mardi Gras
Ask for Help
Asking in time of trouble means you waited too long to ask for help. Ask for help when you are doing well.
Pet Peeve of the Day
People who drive my car and leave the radio on full volume so the next time I start the car I get blasted out of my gourd.
It’s like a goddamn bomb going off . . .
The Funniest Thing I Saw All Day . . .
. . . was a company web page that said if you call their customer service line, you should “be prepared to give your customer number, first and last name . . .”
OK, thanks for the heads-up on the customer number but how much preparation do I need in order to be able to provide my first and last name?
Anne Frank
As I’ve said before, it continues to amaze me how many people around the world have been touched by the life of this one girl . . .
I have seen the movie about Anne Frank and I was very emotional and hurt it was very hard to watch this movie
the things they had to go through it makes you think twice as hard what if it was my family we take things for grantedAnne Frank didn’t have a chance to have a family of her own go to the movies stay up late getting married every aspect of life
what she had she cherished with all the love for everything she hadthis situation with race needs to stop we all bleed the same colour unless we have aliens or robot blood among us or those who choose to judge all races
To me Anne Frank was a very brave outstanding young lady that had to grow up so fast before her time
To Otto Frank,Edith Frank,Margot Frank,Anne Frank you are all together now in gods arms holding you all ever so gentle his angels are cmforting you all from all the hard ache you all went through god bless you all
R.I.P. Anne Frank
Wisconsin’s Smoking Gun
If you cut the pay of an overpaid worker, he’ll generally scream bloody murder. After all, overpaid workers like to stay overpaid. But if you cut the pay of a non-overpaid worker, you haven’t really damaged him. He just quietly leaves and gets a job elsewhere. After all, the ability to find a comparable job elsewhere is pretty much the definition of not being overpaid.
Now how are the Wisconsin public workers reacting to projected pay and/or benefit cuts? As if the rug’s been pulled out from under them, that’s how. Every time a worker says “These cuts will cause me severe pain,” that worker is saying, in effect, “I can’t get anyone else to pay me at the level I’m accustomed to,” or, in briefer words, “I am overpaid!”
So yes, they’re overpaid. And the louder they get, the surer you can be.
What Everyone Says in a Book
It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what everyone else says in a book — what everyone else does not say in a book.