More paperwork does not ensure greater information reliability or accuracy — it only adds to the non-value-added cost. It only seems that adding more measurement and reporting means better control. The illusion of control may partially explain an obsession with control.
It’s Employee Survey Day!
The surveys are completely anonymous. Don’t write your name on them and please seal them in the envelope in front of you.
Oh and — solely for statistical purposes — please indicate the department you work in, your job title, age and how long you’ve worked here.
(Ha ha, I’m sure everything’s on the up and up but I wrote everything left-handed anyway . . . to maintain some deniability . . .)
One of my son’s friends, his parents split up some time back because his dad, as it turned out, was not really attracted to women.
I met the gentleman for the first time last night at a school concert. How he was able to convince anyone, including himself, that he’s not gay is a mystery.
“Did you notice they’re opening a new restaurant at South Coast Plaza?” he said in a voice as gay as Christmas. “They’ll be serving only locally grown food. I was on my way to the Apple Store . . .”
Now I’m not saying that every man who cares about where his food is grown or owns an Apple product is gay but . . .
“I own an Apple product,” my son says.
“Yeah, an iPod,” I reply. “That’s okay. That’s mainstream.”
Last weeks jobs report tanked the stock market; the president took weeks to assert control of the oil spill that threatens doom on the Gulf Coast — but at the White House the Gatsby-like parties roll on as if happy days were here again.
In areas critical to the success of the project, stand up for your opinion. When necessary, challenge senior management and negotiate project objectives or the resources needed to accomplish them.
Do I have any comments for pelicans? Tell ’em to get the hell out of the Gulf of Mexico!
Northwood High had a roller hockey game last night against Newport Harbor. After my kid fired several pucks off the post and off the goalie’s face mask, a couple of his teammates invented a new stat — the Grand Slam: four goals, four assists, four shots off the post and four shots off the goalie’s head.
He missed out on the Grand Slam by two goals and one assist.
Walk into my office the day after your project is approved and say, “When are we getting a team together for my project? Because I don’t plan to miss my deadline.”
Slap the back of one hand into the palm of the other for emphasis.
Via Steven Landsburg | The Big Questions:
One year ago today, somewhere in the Phillipines, a reporter checked his web logs and wondered where all the new readers were coming from. Today we celebrate the first anniversary of one of the most unfortunately worded headlines in the history of journalism.
Even in situations where information is missing and changing, and when there is a great demand for speed, it is essential to identify areas where the search for optimal solutions is worthwhile. Being selective is the key.
Dogs are now so dependent upon people that they fail certain basic intelligence tests that wolves and wild dogs ace, according to new research.
The findings provide evidence that humans, through domestication of canines, have caused dogs to lose their non-social problem-solving skills. The loss in skills appears to be “hardwired” genetically into dogs, helping to explain why homeless dogs struggle to survive.
That is not right to say “dumbed down.” Try teaching a wolf to shake or roll over, bright boy.
Dogs and wolves are smart in different ways. Wolves are smarter about survival skills but dogs are a LOT smarter about living with people because that’s what we do. We’re very tuned in to human behavior and language and ambitions.
We are also a lot better than a wolf at unconditional love, which I know is not what we’re talking about, but we are. We’re not man’s best friend for no reason.
My owner told me about some researchers who tied a piece of meat to a rope and passed the free end of the rope under a gate. Wolves would try to get the meat by tugging on the rope until they dropped over from exhaustion, EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS A HUMAN STANDING RIGHT THERE!
Dogs would tug the rope for a while, then stop and look at the human like “Can you get it for me?” or “Can you give me a hint?”
So who is smarter I ask you — the wolf or the dog ?
Also, I don’t know any wolf who has his own blog like I do.
— Lightning 
The distinctive conduct that marks successful project teams is this: They know there is a time to diverge and a time to converge. That is, in each of the project planning phases (e. g., feasibility, conceptual, definition, execution), the team first moves outward (diverge) to gather information and ideas and to generate alternatives — only then does the team move inward (converge) to focus, evaluate, and select.
They say you can’t make judgments about people based on what they look like but of course that’s nonsense.
You don’t think so? OK — our office building is right next door to the Orange County Social Services Agency. Once in a while, someone drives into our parking lot and causes me to say to myself, “That person has got to be looking for Social Services.” Because they look like someone whose kids should be taken away from them.
And in every case I’ve been correct — the person goes to the Social Services Agency!
Put that in your juice box and suck it.
The ultimate goal of planning is the implementation of plans. One is interested in the planning process and its product — the plan, only insofar that it leads to the effective execution of the project.
The customer’s needs must dictate the project’s objectives, and in a dynamic environment, invariably one of these objectives is flexibility.
The maximum potential for influencing project outcomes occurs early in the conceptual and definition phases of the project. Autopsies of most failed projects indicate that the disasters were “well planned” to happen from the start. Therefore, even in an era of uncertainty and accelerated speed, don’t rush to execution with only superficial preparations — invest quality time in early planning.
My son and some classmates are at our house studying for tomorrow’s SAT subject exams . . .
“How’s it going?” I ask.
“It sucks,” the boy says.
“Well,” I say, “since I’ve already completed high school and Lightning doesn’t have to go, we’re going to go to the park.”
“Aren’t you cool,” he says.
“We are,” I say. “We’re cool. Can I offer a word of advice? Just relax. It’s not like your whole future depends on the outcome of this test . . . no wait, it does! AAAAHHHH! PANIC!!!”
