Walk into my office the day after your project is approved and say, “When are we getting a team together for my project? Because I don’t plan to miss my deadline.”
Slap the back of one hand into the palm of the other for emphasis.
Via Steven Landsburg | The Big Questions:
One year ago today, somewhere in the Phillipines, a reporter checked his web logs and wondered where all the new readers were coming from. Today we celebrate the first anniversary of one of the most unfortunately worded headlines in the history of journalism.
Even in situations where information is missing and changing, and when there is a great demand for speed, it is essential to identify areas where the search for optimal solutions is worthwhile. Being selective is the key.
Dogs are now so dependent upon people that they fail certain basic intelligence tests that wolves and wild dogs ace, according to new research.
The findings provide evidence that humans, through domestication of canines, have caused dogs to lose their non-social problem-solving skills. The loss in skills appears to be “hardwired” genetically into dogs, helping to explain why homeless dogs struggle to survive.
That is not right to say “dumbed down.” Try teaching a wolf to shake or roll over, bright boy.
Dogs and wolves are smart in different ways. Wolves are smarter about survival skills but dogs are a LOT smarter about living with people because that’s what we do. We’re very tuned in to human behavior and language and ambitions.
We are also a lot better than a wolf at unconditional love, which I know is not what we’re talking about, but we are. We’re not man’s best friend for no reason.
My owner told me about some researchers who tied a piece of meat to a rope and passed the free end of the rope under a gate. Wolves would try to get the meat by tugging on the rope until they dropped over from exhaustion, EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS A HUMAN STANDING RIGHT THERE!
Dogs would tug the rope for a while, then stop and look at the human like “Can you get it for me?” or “Can you give me a hint?”
So who is smarter I ask you — the wolf or the dog ?
Also, I don’t know any wolf who has his own blog like I do.
— Lightning 
The distinctive conduct that marks successful project teams is this: They know there is a time to diverge and a time to converge. That is, in each of the project planning phases (e. g., feasibility, conceptual, definition, execution), the team first moves outward (diverge) to gather information and ideas and to generate alternatives — only then does the team move inward (converge) to focus, evaluate, and select.
They say you can’t make judgments about people based on what they look like but of course that’s nonsense.
You don’t think so? OK — our office building is right next door to the Orange County Social Services Agency. Once in a while, someone drives into our parking lot and causes me to say to myself, “That person has got to be looking for Social Services.” Because they look like someone whose kids should be taken away from them.
And in every case I’ve been correct — the person goes to the Social Services Agency!
Put that in your juice box and suck it.
The ultimate goal of planning is the implementation of plans. One is interested in the planning process and its product — the plan, only insofar that it leads to the effective execution of the project.
The customer’s needs must dictate the project’s objectives, and in a dynamic environment, invariably one of these objectives is flexibility.
The maximum potential for influencing project outcomes occurs early in the conceptual and definition phases of the project. Autopsies of most failed projects indicate that the disasters were “well planned” to happen from the start. Therefore, even in an era of uncertainty and accelerated speed, don’t rush to execution with only superficial preparations — invest quality time in early planning.
My son and some classmates are at our house studying for tomorrow’s SAT subject exams . . .
“How’s it going?” I ask.
“It sucks,” the boy says.
“Well,” I say, “since I’ve already completed high school and Lightning doesn’t have to go, we’re going to go to the park.”
“Aren’t you cool,” he says.
“We are,” I say. “We’re cool. Can I offer a word of advice? Just relax. It’s not like your whole future depends on the outcome of this test . . . no wait, it does! AAAAHHHH! PANIC!!!”
I thought John Wooden was going to live forever.
I grew up here in Southern California watching his UCLA Bruin teams dominate college basketball. The main thing I learned from that is that success is a result of preparation. Coach Wooden was a teacher. After he retired, he used to say that he didn’t miss the games and he didn’t miss the tournaments, but he did miss the practices.
College basketball today is unwatchable, in my opinion. The coaches are all bug-eyed lunatics, screaming, waving their arms, tearing their hair out. I’m sickened by these college basketball coaches and their look-at-me theatrics.
Does that help the team win? I watched UCLA win 10 championships and I don’t think Coach Wooden even got out of his chair the whole time. Draw your own conclusions.
It’s a little oily, I’ll grant you that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to present an award to Sir Paul McCartney. Let’s rock!
You frogs can kiss my . . . how do you say “big black ass” in French?
Al, Tipper Gore Shock Friends With Divorce Announcement
As if the burden of divorce weren’t bad enough, people with failed marriages can be blamed for global warming, according to a study by Michigan State University.
Divorced couples use up more space in their respective homes, which amounts to to 38 million more rooms worldwide to light, heat and cool, noted the report.
And people who divorced used 73 billion kilowatt-hours more of electricity and 627 billion gallons of water than they would otherwise in 2005.
Dissolving a marriage also means doubling possessions, from the lowly can opener to the SUV. The report, however, did not estimate how many more natural resources the children of shared-custody parents consume by getting birthday and holiday gifts twice.
Nor did it count the greenhouse gases spent to shuttle kids between their pair of energy-hogging households.
Cops: Porn actor kills 1, hurts 2 in L.A.
This guy must be incredibly well-built — wait, what?
“There is that poem about the nightingale singing that humankind cannot stand too much reality. But how much unreality can it stand? Do you follow? You understand me?”
“Me unnastand, sah.”
“I fired that question right back at the nightingale. So what if reality may be terrible? It’s better than what we’ve got.”
“Kay, sah. Okay.”
“All right, I let you out of it. It’s better than what I’ve got. But every man feels from his soul that he has got to carry his life to a certain depth. Well, I have got to go on because I haven’t reached that depth yet. You get it?”
“Yes, sah.”
Then, before the rain began, the old place appeared to be, not a lost way of life or one to be imitated, but a vision of life as hearty and fleeting as laughter . . .
