Hitting the snooze button, hugging the pillow and fantasizing about staying in bed all day — better than s-e-x?
Those Who Are Really in Earnest
Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are really in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathies with despised ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences.
Bud Grant is Still Alive?!
Dying Media
It is bizarre that liberals who celebrate the unruly demonstrations of our youth would malign or impugn the motivation of today’s protestors with opposing views.
The mainstream media’s failure to honestly cover last month’s mass demonstration in Washington, D.C. was a disgrace. The focus on anti-Obama placards (which were no worse than the rabid anti-LBJ, anti-Reagan or anti-Bush placards of leftist protests), combined with the grotesque attempt to equate criticism of Obama with racism, simply illustrated why the old guard TV networks and major urban daily newspapers are slowly dying. Only a simpleton would believe what they say.
Every Minute Counts
We were trying to figure out what time the boy needed to wake up to get to the PSAT test on time. The test is at 9 a.m., check-in starts at 8:40, it takes 10 minutes or so to drive to the school, and 30 minutes for him to get out of bed, have some breakfast and get ready to go, so I was thinking he’d need to get up at 8 a.m.
“WHAT?!” he shouted. “That’s too early! I’ll be the first person there!”
“OK,” I said, “what time do you think would be good?”
“8:05,” he said.
USC 34, Notre Dame 27
We hope to keep this thing going. It’s a big deal to us. It’s special. So we’ve got to hang onto it next time around when they come to our place. We have to get after it and see if we can keep the thing going. Because it’s very special for the SC family to continue to be on top of this rivalry.
FIGHT ON!
The Stupidest Thing
[Bill] Gates quickly became legendary for telling people that their idea was the stupidest he’d ever heard — so much so that [VP Paul] Maritz would assure them not to worry, “because they weren’t going to hold the record for long.”
In an interview last week, Gates feigned disagreement when it was pointed out that he would often spice up the phrase with an expletive. “No, no, no,” he said, laughing. “Literally, I do say, ‘That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.’ Some people think I add some other word in there, but I don’t — usually.”
Look Out You Rock ‘n’ Rollers
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbnJo88kuP8]
Twitter: 2009-10-16
It’s Payday!
When the guy comes by my office with my pay envelope, I raise my hand and say, “No thanks. The work is its own reward.”
“You’ve said that before,” he says.
“Doesn’t it get funnier every time I say it?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
I Hate Notre Dame
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!
I’m excited because this week is USC vs. Notre Dame, the greatest intersectional rivalry in college football!
I love USC because my owner went to USC. Hooray! I hate Notre Dame. Grrrrrrrrr!
Do you know what I do when Notre Dame beats USC? Neither do I because I’m only six years old.
— Lightning 
Twitter: 2009-10-15
Somebody Stop Me!
I went to Subway for lunch and ordered my sandwich in an Australian accent: “LEH-us, to-MAH-to . . .”
Good times!
The Basics of Humor
My wife and my dog both have birthdays later this month . . .
“I was just thinking,” I say to my wife, “doesn’t Lightning have a birthday coming up?”
(Waiting for reaction . . . waiting . . . )
“That was very basic,” she says.
Passive-Aggressive Responses
I’ve got a manager’s meeting later this morning to address the question “What is the impact of passive-aggressive team members?”
Possible responses:
- “How should I know?”
- “Why am I always the first person called on? This is so unfair.”
- Roll eyes and sigh loudly.
- Show up late for the meeting and avoid eye contact with anyone.
Pug Photos on Flickr
Originally uploaded by pugphotos
Originally uploaded by wombatarama
Ups and Downs
Twitter: 2009-10-12
- Obama fails to win Nobel prize in economics – MarketWatch – http://bit.ly/ARd8m #
Just Trying to Learn
I’m not trying to have a career, I’m not trying to be rich, I’m just trying to learn.
Bottom Story of the Day
Director Polanski feels depressed in jail: lawyer