Here’s the link to Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom’s gift registry at Geary’s Beverly Hills.
Least expensive item: a $90 fish fork. Or how about a $1,140 soup ladle?
Twitter: 2009-09-24
- RT @capricecrane: New Word: "Stabtastrophe." A severe phenomenon occurring in a high pressure system of you getting my coffee order wrong. #
Twitter: 2009-09-23
- Re Mackenzie Phillips: Did NOT see that one coming! #
Overheard
[HT: Esquire]
Twitter: 2009-09-22
- RT @sportsguy33: My postgame question 4 Tony Sparano: "Tony, that's one of the worst coaching jobs I've ever seen. I dont have a question." #
- When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it: http://bit.ly/rJ4kd #
- RT @diablocody: "I learned JavaScript, so my personal website is getting really dynamic." #1999IceBreakers #
The Next Generation
Answer Up or Die
Sometimes I’ll say something to my son, who’s 16 now, ask him a question . . . I know he’s heard me but he doesn’t answer. So I wait or I ask him again, and when I do get an answer, I can’t understand it because he’s mumbling.
Someone was telling me that she works with a boy whose mother shot all of his siblings. Why didn’t she shoot him too, you ask? I don’t know — out of ammo?
To be sure, killing your own children is taking things too far, but I’ll bet you that boy answers up promptly when his mom says something to him . . .
Obama on Letterman
I think it’s important to realize that I was actually black before the election.
Twitter: 2009-09-21
- Why Health Care Will Never Be Equal – http://bit.ly/F1e8P #
- RT @Lileks: I'd paint that with a hammer! #failedcatchphrases #
Twitter: 2009-09-20
- RT @sandiegozoo: WARNING: Contents of this tweet may be 2 cute for some viewers. San Diego Zoo panda cub video!! http://tinyurl.com/mmjkj9 #
Saturday Mornings at the Dog Park
I love Saturday mornings! My owner takes me to the dog park, then we drive through Starbucks and I get a Pup Cup, which is a paper cup filled with whipped cream.
— Lightning 
Twitter: 2009-09-18
- RT @TheFatJew: I can't belive Patrick Swayze is gonna be on "The View" next week, too bad he can only talk to Whoopi Goldberg. Too soon? #
Twitter: 2009-09-17
- Best practices premised on good results in the long-term but ppl R rewarded based on the results they got last quarter. http://bit.ly/aH7Vt #
- RT @OCWeekly: Halloween plans for Disneyland: New fireworks show, SPACE MOUNTAIN GHOST GALAXY + more – http://bit.ly/26pBZ1 #
- RT @GettyMuseum: Monkeys wearing hats? Green strawberries? Explore imaginative world of marginalia http://bit.ly/pHFh9 Check out interactive #
- Signed up for a free shot at work. They tried to stick a *needle* in me. #
- Jimmy Carter says criticism of Kanye is racially motivated… #
Twitter: 2009-09-16
- The place is Southern California. The time is the present. These things never change… #
- Don't bring a shoe to a gunfight: Iraqi 'shoe-thrower' shot dead by US forces http://is.gd/3liJF #
Unfair to Dogs
California man suspected of murdering wife, dog arrested at Peace Arch
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!
Here’s what I don’t understand: If a California man is suspected of killing his wife, why would they arrest a dog at the Peace Arch? It doesn’t make sense and it’s not fair to the dog.
I’m going to stop reading the news. It’s too upsetting . . .
— Lightning
Soft Drinks
It seems like there always someone trying to put a damper on my enjoyment of super-size soft drinks . . .
“Soda is bad for your brain,” my son says. “The brain is mostly water and soda dehydrates it.”
“How does soda dehydrate my brain,” I ask, “considering that soda is mostly water?”
“I don’t have all the facts on that,” he says. So at least he’s honest.
“If you don’t mind,” I say, “I’m going to keep drinking the sodas until you have them.”
False Advertising
There’s a sign in the Taco Bell/KFC drive-thru advertising a “Value Drink” for 99 cents. It looks like a pretty sweet deal because the cup is at least three feet tall.
“How big is the Value Drink?” I ask the drive-thru voice.
“16 ounces,” she says.
“Really? It looks a lot bigger than that on the sign.”
“It’s a trick,” she says. “That’s not the actual size.”
“In that case,” I say, “just give me a large Diet Pepsi.”
Chimes of Freedom
Tolling for the aching ones whose wounds cannot be nursed
For the countless confused, accused, misused, strung-out ones and worse
And for every hung-up person in the whole wide universe
And we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.
Thomas Jefferson on Obama’s Healthcare Speech
My fellow Americans —
Perhaps it was unfair of me to be critical of President Obama’s healthcare speech without having heard it. There’s not much to do on a Saturday night when you’re dead, so I read the transcript:
We’ve estimated that most of this plan can be paid for by finding savings within the existing health care system, a system that is currently full of waste and abuse. . . . The only thing this plan would eliminate is the hundreds of billions of dollars in waste and fraud, as well as unwarranted subsidies in Medicare that go to insurance companies . . . Reducing the waste and inefficiency in Medicare and Medicaid will pay for most of this plan.
And how much money are we talking about, sir?
Now, add it all up, and the plan I’m proposing will cost around $900 billion over 10 years.
WTF?!
I will not accept the status quo as a solution.
OK — cut the bullshit, my friend. Your “plan” vs. “the status quo” is a false choice. You’ve just said so yourself. If you’ve figured out how to eliminate $900 billion in waste and inefficiency from the current system, GO AHEAD AND DO IT! Why are you tying that to 1,000 pages of unrelated “reforms” that no one has even bothered to read?
If you can eliminate hundreds of billions of dollars in waste and inefficiency — I don’t believe that for a second, but let’s say you can — you will have no greater supporter than old Tom Jefferson. AND — you will have acquired so much credibility that you’ll be able to pass any reforms you like.
Don’t present false choices to us like we’re a nation of fools. Cut the bullshit and DO something.
— Tom
Twitter: 2009-09-11
- HarvardBusiness.org: 4 Ways to Keep Your Employees Happy http://bit.ly/Xmide #