I’m supposed to be doing some stuff in London today, but the snivelling tossers cancelled all the trains and buses because there was a bit of snow. On the bright side, shutting down our financial services industry for a day will save the country billions.
EppsNet Music Review: Springsteen Halftime Show
What year did Asbury Park come out — 1973? Man, that was a great album. So Springsteen must be what now — 60?
He looks great, with his hair transplants and cosmetic surgery, shilling his new album on the Bridgestone Halftime Show.
Bruce Springsteen — authentic blue-collar friend of the American working man!
I couldn’t even watch it . . .
Before ADHD Was Invented
The school thought Gillian [Lynne] had a learning disorder of some sort and that it might be more appropriate for her to be in a school for children with special needs. All of this took place in the 1930s. I think now they’d say she had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and they’d put her on Ritalin or something similar. But the ADHD epidemic hadn’t been invented at the time. It wasn’t an available condition. People didn’t know they could have that and had to get by without it.
It Must Be February
I got up at five this morning, rolled into LA Fitness . . . there wasn’t one person in the entire downstairs workout area.
So much for New Year’s resolutions . . .
Failure is an Orphan
For centuries, historians have debated whether history is propelled by Great Men (and Women), human forces of nature who bend events and systems to their will, or by vast impersonal forces (communism, capitalism, globalization) that render even the most powerful of us a mere reed basket floating in a massive river. There’s no session on the subject at the World Economic Forum in Davos. But at least with regard to finance and business, the consensus seems to be clear: Success is the work of Great Men and Great Women, while failure can be pinned on the system.
Insulting People as a Public Service
There was a troubled-looking guy in Petco this afternoon giving away packets of Natural Balance dog food. He looked like a meth addict or something.
As I walked past him, he mumbled, without making eye contact, “Want some free dog food?”
“My dog won’t eat that shit,” I said, which is not true, but it certainly took the wind out of his sails.
Now you might say I wasn’t very charming but by verbally assaulting him in that way, I was motivating him to rehabilitate himself and get a real job.
Tough love . . .
Stealing Ideas
Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down peoples’ throats.
How to Get an A in Honors History
First semester grades are out. My son missed getting straight A’s by a point and a half. He had an 88.5 in honors history.
He got an A in honors English with a 90.14.
The honors classes at Northwood are very demanding. Even the best students get low A’s and high B’s.
Three kids got A’s in the history class. The high score was a 91.1.
“The 91.1 is Ted,” my son says. We know Ted. “Ted is history. He’s bad at math, average in English, but he knows everything there is to know about history.”
“Make sure you touch base with the history teacher,” I say. “Let him know you’re really doing your best for him and ask him what you need to do to get that extra point and a half this semester. He’ll tell you.”
“He’ll say, ‘Study hard, get a good score on all the assignments, blah blah blah.'”
“You’re a pessimist,” I say. (I was going to say “fatalist” but I’m not sure he knows what that means.) “I’ve been a teacher myself and I can tell you that teachers like students who are engaged and make an extra effort. They want you to do well and if there’s a close call on a grade, they may give you the benefit of the doubt. So be proactive with this guy.”
His mom chimes in at this point: “That’s right,” she says.
“I hate that,” the boy replies. “You don’t even know what he’s talking about. You just say ‘That’s right.'”
I say, “She doesn’t have to know what I’m talking about to know it’s right. If my lips are moving, it’s right.”
Five Interesting Facts About VisiCalc
- First spreadsheet program for personal computers (1979)
- First killer app for the Apple II
- First spreadsheet program for the IBM PC (1981)
- Still available as a free download from co-developer Dan Bricklin’s web site
- Full executable is only 27K!
Added Comments Feed
Someone asked me last week if the EppsNet RSS feed includes comments. It doesn’t.
So — I just added a comments feed and a Subscribe by Email option, both available in the right sidebar . . .
Dear Landlord
Now, each of us has his own special gift
And you know this was meant to be true,
And if you don’t underestimate me,
I won’t underestimate you.
That’s Not Leadership
We can’t drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times … and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK.
That’s not leadership. That’s not going to happen.
Mr. Obama, who hates the cold, had cranked up the thermostat.
“He’s from Hawaii, O.K.?” said Mr. Obama’s senior adviser, David Axelrod, who occupies the small but strategically located office next door to his boss. “He likes it warm. You could grow orchids in there.”
Falling Down Stairs
The CFO announced at our all-company meeting this morning that one of our colleagues had fallen down the main stairwell at the office yesterday.
(That stairwell has a marble-like tile surface, so if you were to take a fall on it, it’s gonna leave a mark, no question about it.)
As a result, the stairwell is closed until the building architect can figure out a way to make it “safer.”
One clumsy person ruins it for all of us.
I thought about raising my hand and proposing that those of us who like to live dangerously be allowed to sign a waiver acknowledging that we’re willing to walk up and down the stairs at our own risk.
But I didn’t. I just sat there.
Then a strange thing happened . . .
Others began to raise their hands and weigh in on the uneven surfaces, the depth perception in the stairwell being off somehow, etc., and as they did, the futility of what was happening seemed to grab me by the throat . . . I felt something — hope? resolve? IQ points? — draining out of my skull, so I discreetly got up and left the meeting — my silent, feeble protest against what’s happened to us as Americans.
On the bright side, at least she wasn’t in a car accident. I’d have to ride my bike to work . . .
Overheard
. . . at the bagel shop:
What’s on the “everything” bagel?
User Surveys on the Web
Look me in the eye
Then tell me that I’m satisfied
Hey, are you satisfied?
What is a reasonable target for user satisfaction with a web site?
We did a user satisfaction survey last year and found that 14 percent of respondents felt that our web site didn’t measure up to their expectations.
This year, we have an incentive goal of reducing that number to 8 percent, not based on evidence that any web site has ever achieved a number that low, but based on the opinion of the company that did the survey that anything over a 10 percent dissatisfaction rating is always bad.
Or to flip it around, we’re trying to achieve a 92 percent approval rating.
I wish we hadn’t set the bar quite that high. I don’t want to be a pessimist but not only is that considerably higher than, say, Google (at 78 percent — and what’s not to like about Google?), it’s also higher than Santa Claus, crack cocaine and oral sex . . .
[audio:unsatisfied.mp3]LinkedIn Meta
If you’re not on LinkedIn this isn’t going to be funny but I got this email today from my brother:
I’m going through a social media epiphany…so “I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.” 🙂
Where is the Change?
More than 144 hours into Barack Obama’s presidency, the economy is still in recession, the country is still at war, and in many parts of the country it’s still cold outside. Citizens are growing impatient: Wasn’t President Obama supposed to bring change?
Not Knowing Things
But I don’t have to know an answer. I don’t feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in the mysterious universe without having any purpose, which is the way it really is, as far as I can tell, possibly. It doesn’t frighten me.
It’s a Pug Thing
That’s my dog in the top photo, sleeping in his favorite spot. The bottom photo I saw on Flickr . . .
Originally uploaded by ♥ellie♥
