Prime Minister of Zimbabwe Morgan Tsvangirai and that guy from the Miller High Life commercials . . .
25 Things I Didn’t Want to Know About You
From TIME magazine
A Lack of Foresight
It’s chilly tonight in Orange County — temperatures in the low 40s — but the dog still needs to go out for a walk so I ask my son to please take care of it.
“It’s kinda cold,” he says.
“It’s okay,” I reply. “He’s got fur.”
“I don’t have fur.”
“You should have thought of that when you asked for a dog.”
Another Reason I Like to Just Stay Home
Thomas Jefferson on the Stimulus Package
The situation could not be more serious. It is inexcusable and irresponsible for any of us to get bogged down in distraction, delay or politics as usual while millions of Americans are being put out of work. Now is the time for Congress to act.
Bah-loney. The American economy will bounce back as it always has, as surely as day follows night, no matter what anyone does or doesn’t do.
The only urgency in passing a stimulus bill (which doesn’t work, as I’ve explained previously) is so President Obama can take the credit for the recovery when it occurs . . .
Why Parents Do What They Do
And I know a father who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he’d done
This story needs a quick setup . . .
My son’s two-year-old birthday party was a festive event. The whole neighborhood was there!
We had a bounce house, a clown . . . the only thing that marred the day slightly was that as everyone sang “Happy Birthday,” his mom lifted him up so he could see the cake, and he stuck his finger out and touched a lit candle.
It wasn’t a bad burn but he did cry for a while.
We have a video of this. That’s why he remembers it.
So — we’re having a late lunch today at Souplantation. A kid who looks about four years old runs down the aisle, turns the corner and runs back up the next aisle over.
I ask, “Why is it a good idea as a parent to let your kid run through restaurants?”
My son, totally off topic, says, “Why is it a good idea to let your kid stick his finger in a candle?”
I say, “I don’t know. You didn’t do it again though, did you?”
His mom says, “Maybe you shouldn’t have a birthday party at all if you want to complain about it.”
“A two-year-old shouldn’t have a birthday party?!” he asks in disbelief.
I say, “Mom makes a good point, if you’re just going to stick your finger in a candle and ruin it for everybody.”
Working on Some Moves
My son’s dribbling a basketball in the family room, working on some moves. His mom comes in and tells him to knock it off.
He responds by posting her up and backing her down . . .
40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes
Weeding Out Bruins on Facebook
Wednesday was national signing day for college football. Looks like UCLA got a good group of kids.
One of my Facebook friends, a UCLA grad, updated his status to say that he thinks UCLA will now rule the city in basketball AND football.
I posted a comment on his status: What about SAT scores?
And within minutes he had dropped me from his friend list, after sending me an angry email saying that USC is getting smart kids internationally and out of state while UCLA has to take California kids and besides that they’re manipulating the stats and blah blah blah . . .
To fully appreciate that, you need to know that traditionally the perception has been that the rich SoCal kids go to USC while the smart kids go to UCLA. In recent years though, USC has moved ahead in SAT scores, GPA, National Merit Scholars, etc., and continues to widen the gap.
So now the USC kids are richer AND smarter and the Bruins aren’t taking it well. Not at all.
FIGHT ON!
Whatever Helps
It was after 11 p.m. last night. I was already in bed but my son was still downstairs doing homework. He’s got a hockey game tonight in Huntington Beach and he wanted to work ahead a little bit.
Then I heard: “WOOOOOOO! WAAAAAAAH! BABABABABABABABABABABABABA!”
I got up, went out to the stairs and yelled down, “What are you DOING?”
“It’s my homework war cry!” he yelled back.
Hmmm — having a homework war cry actually sounds like a pretty good idea to me so I let the matter slide and went back to bed . . .
Why Don’t You Go Ahead and Do Something?
We place the highest value on actual implementation and taking action. There are many things one doesn’t understand and therefore, we ask them why don’t you just go ahead and take action; try to do something? You realize how little you know and you face your own failures and you simply can correct those failures and redo it again and at the second trial you realize another mistake or another thing you didn’t like so you can redo it once again. So by constant improvement, or, should I say, the improvement based upon action, one can rise to the higher level of practice and knowledge.
Snow Diary
I’m supposed to be doing some stuff in London today, but the snivelling tossers cancelled all the trains and buses because there was a bit of snow. On the bright side, shutting down our financial services industry for a day will save the country billions.
EppsNet Music Review: Springsteen Halftime Show
What year did Asbury Park come out — 1973? Man, that was a great album. So Springsteen must be what now — 60?
He looks great, with his hair transplants and cosmetic surgery, shilling his new album on the Bridgestone Halftime Show.
Bruce Springsteen — authentic blue-collar friend of the American working man!
I couldn’t even watch it . . .
Before ADHD Was Invented
The school thought Gillian [Lynne] had a learning disorder of some sort and that it might be more appropriate for her to be in a school for children with special needs. All of this took place in the 1930s. I think now they’d say she had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and they’d put her on Ritalin or something similar. But the ADHD epidemic hadn’t been invented at the time. It wasn’t an available condition. People didn’t know they could have that and had to get by without it.
It Must Be February
I got up at five this morning, rolled into LA Fitness . . . there wasn’t one person in the entire downstairs workout area.
So much for New Year’s resolutions . . .
Failure is an Orphan
For centuries, historians have debated whether history is propelled by Great Men (and Women), human forces of nature who bend events and systems to their will, or by vast impersonal forces (communism, capitalism, globalization) that render even the most powerful of us a mere reed basket floating in a massive river. There’s no session on the subject at the World Economic Forum in Davos. But at least with regard to finance and business, the consensus seems to be clear: Success is the work of Great Men and Great Women, while failure can be pinned on the system.
Insulting People as a Public Service
There was a troubled-looking guy in Petco this afternoon giving away packets of Natural Balance dog food. He looked like a meth addict or something.
As I walked past him, he mumbled, without making eye contact, “Want some free dog food?”
“My dog won’t eat that shit,” I said, which is not true, but it certainly took the wind out of his sails.
Now you might say I wasn’t very charming but by verbally assaulting him in that way, I was motivating him to rehabilitate himself and get a real job.
Tough love . . .
Stealing Ideas
Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down peoples’ throats.
How to Get an A in Honors History
First semester grades are out. My son missed getting straight A’s by a point and a half. He had an 88.5 in honors history.
He got an A in honors English with a 90.14.
The honors classes at Northwood are very demanding. Even the best students get low A’s and high B’s.
Three kids got A’s in the history class. The high score was a 91.1.
“The 91.1 is Ted,” my son says. We know Ted. “Ted is history. He’s bad at math, average in English, but he knows everything there is to know about history.”
“Make sure you touch base with the history teacher,” I say. “Let him know you’re really doing your best for him and ask him what you need to do to get that extra point and a half this semester. He’ll tell you.”
“He’ll say, ‘Study hard, get a good score on all the assignments, blah blah blah.'”
“You’re a pessimist,” I say. (I was going to say “fatalist” but I’m not sure he knows what that means.) “I’ve been a teacher myself and I can tell you that teachers like students who are engaged and make an extra effort. They want you to do well and if there’s a close call on a grade, they may give you the benefit of the doubt. So be proactive with this guy.”
His mom chimes in at this point: “That’s right,” she says.
“I hate that,” the boy replies. “You don’t even know what he’s talking about. You just say ‘That’s right.'”
I say, “She doesn’t have to know what I’m talking about to know it’s right. If my lips are moving, it’s right.”
Five Interesting Facts About VisiCalc
- First spreadsheet program for personal computers (1979)
- First killer app for the Apple II
- First spreadsheet program for the IBM PC (1981)
- Still available as a free download from co-developer Dan Bricklin’s web site
- Full executable is only 27K!