Some famous scientist — I wish I could remember who — said that new theories supplant old theories not on merit, but only when everyone who believed in the old theory has died.
Hence — don’t expect people to embrace your new idea. People hate new ideas. The good news is — eventually a new idea becomes an old idea.
Once people start to say, “Oh, that idea’s been around for a while,” or die, whichever comes first, they become more receptive to it.
When you’re meeting with the people responsible for a company’s software development process being the way it is, any suggestion that it could be improved is going to be a tough sell.
Prepare to hear something like this: “We didn’t get where we are today by doing things wrong.”
Thus spoke The Programmer.
You didn’t come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can.
Eddie Van Halen says he’ll enter rehab
This is sad news, and Eddie’s sweet, elderly grandma (pictured at right) says she wishes him the best.
Wait a moment . . . I’m being told that the person in the picture is not Eddie Van Halen’s elderly grandma, but is in fact — Eddie Van Halen!
Sweet Jesus! This is certainly another blow to the theory that being rich and famous will solve all of your problems!
Xkcd will sell you a T-shirt with this slogan on it.
My son loves it. He thinks his 8th grade science teacher should get one.
“That’s a great idea,” I say, “if he wants to get fired.”
“He could just cross out BIZNATCHES and write KIDS instead,” he suggests.
I’m working through our monthly cash flow in Quicken while my son bounces a basketball around the family room. I see an expense that I can’t figure out, which happens more often than I’d like when I go through the family finances.
“This doesn’t make sense,” I say to myself.
“What?” my son asks. “We actually made a little money for once?”
He’s so thrilled with this zinger that he breaks into a cross-legged dance around the room yelling “OHHHHHHH! OHHHHHHH!” over and over again.
AFL PLAYER 1: You couldn’t make it in pro football.
AFL PLAYER 2: Oh yeah? Well, you couldn’t make it in pro football either.
AFL PLAYER 1: Touché.
I notice that you use plain, simple English, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English–it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don’t let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in.
Enron’s performance in 2000 was a success by any measure, as we continued to outdistance the competition and solidify our leadership in each of our major businesses. We have robust networks of strategic assets that we own or have contractual access to, which give us greater flexibility and speed to reliably deliver widespread logistical solutions. . . . We have metamorphosed from an asset-based pipeline and power generating company to a marketing and logistics company whose biggest assets are its well-established business approach and its innovative people.
Source: Why Business People Speak Like Idiots: A Bullfighter’s Guide by Brian Fugere, Chelsea Hardaway & Jon Warshawsky
I read that pugs like the sound of their owner’s voice almost as much as they like food. That’s why it’s so important to talk to your pug.
“It’s important to talk to your wife too,” my wife says. “Pugs are easy to please. Pugs will always be there. Wives have a car and two feet.”
He said he heard about a couple living in the USA
He said they traded in their baby for a Chevrolet
PUEBLO — Three people were arrested on charges of swapping a 5-month-old boy for a downpayment on a used Dodge Intrepid and cash, police said Tuesday.
Ken Schwaber on software quality:
I think what will happen is some places will really get it and will be so competitively compelling that others will have to rapidly change or go out of business. As an offset to that, consider that Ford has known for 40 years how Toyota builds cars.
We have a company directory, including photos, on the intranet, so when I do a project with people in a different office, I like to go to the directory and look at the photos to see who I’m dealing with.
Today I started working with some folks in the Roseville office.
“Where’s Roseville?” I asked anyone within earshot of my desk.
“You know where Sacramento is?” someone responds.
Do I know where Sacramento is? What a question! It’s the capital of the state I’ve lived in my entire life.
“Duh, no. Hang on, let me get a map.” Geez, if I want to be insulted, I can get that at home.
The reason I asked: After clicking on a few of the photos, the kindest thing I could think of to say was “Maybe people in Roseville don’t photograph particularly well.”
A guy brought a laser pointer to the dog park tonight so his retarded dog could chase the beam around like a nitwit.
He tried to get my dog to chase it, but the dog just looked back at him to see where the beam was coming from, which is the intelligent thing to do in that situation.
“The pug doesn’t see it,” the guy said.
“He sees it,” I explained, “but pugs are too smart to chase light beams.”
“What does being smart have to do with it?” Laser Guy asked.
“Would you run around the park chasing after a laser beam?” I asked. “You wouldn’t. You know why? Because it’s stupid. You can’t catch it. Chasing after a ball or a frisbee makes sense. I’ve done that myself. But running around after a light beam is just moronic.”
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
“Is that a fact?” she said. “Well–I’ve got news for Mr. Santayana: we’re doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That’s what it is to be alive. It’s pretty dense kids who haven’t figured that out by the time they’re ten.”
“Santayana was a famous philosopher at Harvard,” said Slazinger, a Harvard man.
And Mrs. Berman said, “Most kids can’t afford to go to Harvard to be misinformed.”
My son’s tennis teacher asks me where the boy gets his “smart-alecky” personality — from me or my wife?
“Well,” I say, “if by ‘smart-alecky’ you mean ‘funny,’ he gets it from me. If you mean ‘argues for the sake of arguing,’ he gets that from his mom.”
My neighbor across the street is a very serious fisherman. He’s got, like, 15 fishing rods in a rack in his garage, one for every occasion.
Does he ever take any of his family members along on his fishing trips? No . . . on his list of priorities, they rank somewhere below fish.
I suspect his wife has a fish-head mask she puts on when she wants to get his attention . . .
Make your man feel capable . . .
Good: “You are so strong!” “You are so smart!”
Bad: “Are you sure you know where you’re going?”
These are just examples, but you get the idea . . .
We’re on a budget . . . maybe I’ll write my love a poem. Seriously though, some flowers for sure . . . I’ll take her for dinner if she wants to, but we really are trying to cut back on the spending a bit.
Reality vs. romance . . .
What is the point of this story?
What information pertains?
The thought that life could be better
Is woven indelibly
Into our hearts
And our brains.
