As I sat in Northwood Pizza last night with my son’s roller hockey team, watching the last few minutes of Florida State’s 44-27 drubbing of UCLA, I was reminded of chess grandmaster Aron Nimzowitsch, who once, after losing a match, climbed on a table and shouted
Why must I lose to this idiot?
FIGHT ON!
A friend of mine’s 13-year-old daughter will be appearing as an extra in an episode of My Name is Earl airing in a couple of months.
I told my son, also 13, he should try to hook up with her before she gets too famous and the competiton heats up. He just made throat-cutting gestures and gagging noises, as he always does when the subject of the ladies comes up.
Naturally, she’ll dump him as soon as she hits the big time, but that’s okay . . . I’ve got to believe that all these starlets put a lot more into pleasing their boyfriends before they were famous than they do now that a guy is lucky just to be with them in the first place . . .
“Don’t buy us anything expensive for Christmas this year,” my mom says on the phone. “Save your money.”
I diplomatically omit the fact that every year as the Yuletide approaches, my wife starts rummaging through the closets for things she doesn’t want, then wraps them up and gives them to my parents as Christmas presents.
A christmas card from my brother-in-law, who lives with my wife’s sister and their two daughters outside Sydney:
The sun is shining. The days are long and hot. We are in the first weeks of summer and the bush fires have just started. It must mean Christmas is just around the corner.
I had three pieces of limestone on my desk, but I was terrified to find that they required to be dusted daily . . . and threw them out the window in disgust. — Henry David Thoreau, Walden
That book made a powerful impression on me. After reading it, I decided that I, like Thoreau, would travel light along the road of life, and stop dragging so much useless junk around with me.
Unfortunately, that was almost 20 years ago and I still haven’t been able to carry it off.
Not yet, anyway.
But I still think the concept is valid . . .
Per our Head of Software Development, IT managers are henceforth being evaluated on the “quality” of their status reports.
A little background on this: We have a weekly conference call during which managers report project status. Every week you the hear the same things over and over: We’re waiting on this. We’re waiting on that. We’re working on requirements. We’re figuring out the architecture. We’re doing the design.
Very rarely does anyone say, “We delivered working software to a customer.”
Even more rarely does anyone say, “We delivered working software to a customer, the customer is using it, and can’t stop raving about how great it is.”
What would be our motivation for evaluating practices rather than accomplishments? When I do projects, I like to be evaluated on one thing: my ability to deliver business value to a customer.
Everything else is waste.
Thus spoke The Programmer.
Before BYU’s 38-8 pasting of Oregon in last night’s Las Vegas Bowl, ESPN ran a feature on how the Oregon players and coaches work with Nike to design those gawd-awful uniforms.
Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ on a moped, how fruity is that?! Why not change the team name from the Ducks to the Battling Halstons? Then they go out and get waxed by a Mountain West team — that’s got be great for recruiting!
Hey boys, if you want to be fashion designers, sashay on up to Eugene, Oregon!
I’m a proud USC alum, but if I ever hear Pete Carroll talking about threads per inch, I swear to god I’m going to renounce my allegiance . . .
I was at the corporate office of a well-known company here in Irvine yesterday when I saw the name “Tim Jones” on one of the offices.
“Hmmm,” I thought, “I used to work with a Tim Jones [not his real name] about 20 years ago. I wonder if it’s the same guy?”
The door was closed, but I was able to peep through the glass as I walked by and saw what looked to be Tim Jones’ grandfather.
It’s amazing how Tim Jones has fallen apart over the last 20 years while I myself have not aged a single day . . .
While you’re waiting for the end of the world, have a look at this frightening interview, in which Jeff Stein, Congressional Quarterly‘s national security editor, talks to Silvestre Reyes (D-TX), incoming chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, about the major players in Islamic terrorism:
Al Qaeda is what, I asked, Sunni or Shia?
“Al Qaeda, they have both,” Reyes said. “You’re talking about predominately [sic]?”
“Sure,” I said, not knowing what else to say.
“Predominantly — probably Shiite,” he ventured.
He couldn’t have been more wrong.
Al Qaeda is profoundly Sunni. If a Shiite showed up at an al Qaeda club house, they’d slice off his head and use it for a soccer ball.
That’s because the extremist Sunnis who make up al Qaeda consider all Shiites to be heretics.
Al Qaeda’s Sunni roots account for its very existence. Osama bin Laden and his followers believe the Saudi Royal family besmirched the true faith through their corruption and alliance with the United States, particularly allowing U.S. troops on Saudi soil.
It’s been five years since these Muslim extremists flew hijacked airliners into the World Trade Center.
Is it too much to ask that our intelligence overseers know who they are?
I say no. I was telling my dad about this interview last night . . . when I got to the “Al Qaeda — Sunni or Shia?” question, he said, “They’re Sunni,” very matter-of-factly, like I’d asked him if Derek Jeter plays for the Yankees or the Red Sox.
Keep in mind that Rep. Reyes gets paid $165,200 a year to know more about this stuff than the average 70-year-old retiree.
And Hezbollah? I asked him. What are they?
“Hezbollah. Uh, Hezbollah…”
He laughed again, shifting in his seat.
Funny stuff! I’ll bet he misses this one too . . .
“Why do you ask me these questions at five o’clock? Can I answer in Spanish? Do you speak Spanish?”
“Poquito,” I said–a little.
“Poquito?!” He laughed again.
“Go ahead,” I said, talk to me about Sunnis and Shia in Spanish.
Reyes: “Well, I, uh….”
Was that Spanish? OMG, I feel a lot safer now!
I really hate people who don’t put in the effort. Maybe instead of shutting it down at 5 p.m., he could go till 7, 8, or 9 p.m. and try to learn something about the people who’d like to end Western civilization as we know it. Oh sure, it would mean missing the free taquitos at happy hour, but wouldn’t it be worth it in the long run?
I apologized for putting him “on the spot a little.” But I reminded him that the people who have killed thousands of Americans on U.S. soil and in the Middle East have been front page news for a long time now.
It’s been 23 years since a Hezbollah suicide bomber killed over 200 U.S. military personnel in Beirut, mostly Marines.
Hezbollah, a creature of Iran, is close to taking over in Lebanon. Reports say they are helping train Iraqi Shiites to kill Sunnis in the spiralling civil war.
“Yeah,” Reyes said, rightly observing, “but . . . it’s not like the Hatfields and the McCoys. It’s a heck of a lot more complex.
“And I agree with you — we ought to expend some effort into understanding them. But speaking only for myself, it’s hard to keep things in perspective and in the categories.”
I totally know what you mean! I have a hard time keeping up with all the latest developments in my business too! But I try. I make a daily effort.
My dad couldn’t believe it: “No, he didn’t really say that.” But he did!
This must be why people endure the personal indignities necessary to succeed in politics.
You can make a very nice income without doing any actual work.
You can kick the president’s ass for years on his handling of major issues without offering any ideas of your own, and without even knowing the basic facts.
You can endanger the entire nation by being entrusted with a key national security position despite the fact that you’re as dumb as a rock, and then laugh in the face of a man who exposes you as a fraud and a dangerous imbecile.
Willful incompetence never had it so good!
I don’t usually offer investment advice, but in this case I’m going to make an exception. Long: blankets, canned goods and shotgun shells.
A co-worker — let’s call him Mr. Frick — in response to criticism from Mr. Frack, says, “You want my job, Frack? You can have it!”
To which Frack responds, “OK. I’ve been doing it for a while now.”
The privately held Craigslist has been approached about installing text ads on the site, and the potential revenue is “quite staggering,” [CEO Jim Buckmaster] said.
But, Buckmaster deadpanned, “No users are suggesting we run text ads.”
Craigslist is an exception to the rule that a lot of Internet companies talk about putting users first, but when it comes down to a tradeoff between what users want and a boatload of money, they go for the money.
I saw this headline in the Orange County Register:
Man fleeing burning Dana Point condo bitten by his dog
My first thought was, “What kind of a dog turns on its owner in a crisis? It’s got to be a pit bull.”
Sure enough . . .
A pit bull spooked by the flames and smoke turned on his owner as the man tried to escape the flames with the dog in his arms. The man, who lived in the condo where the fire started, was badly bitten on both arms.
The man left a trail of blood down the stairs. The dog was not hurt in the blaze.
The dog wasn’t hurt, although an officer on the scene did offer to shoot the animal to keep the owner from being mangled any worse than he already was, an offer the owner declined.
“Please don’t shoot my dog!” he pleaded.
Further investigation revealed that the burning condo also contained — in addition to the man and the dog — a stash of money, guns and drugs. So all in all, not a good day for this local dog owner.
Compare that with this heartwarming dog story from Buffalo, NY . . .
Eve and Norman Fertig, both 81, were trapped outside their home by heavy snow. Fortunately, they were not drug-dealing pit bull owners and had their dog Shana, a German Shepherd mix, with them.
As the cold and snow chilled them both without heavy coats and gloves, Shana started digging under the snow and trees.
The dog actually dug a foot wide tunnel about 20 feet to the home.
Shana barked but, the couple hesitated, so they say the dog came back and tugged on Eve’s jacket. She says the 160 pound dog actually pulled her onto its broad back and crawled through the tunnel. Her husband held on as well as they slowly crawled all the way back to their home.
So — if you’re thinking about buying a dog, you may want to ask yourself, “Is this a breed like a German Shepherd, collie or pug, known for loyalty and intelligence and likely to save my life in a crisis? Or is it a trashy breed like a pit bull or Rottweiler, more suited to guarding junkyards and crack houses, likely to not only not save my life, but to try to kill me when I’m trying to save his worthless life?”
You make the call.
Originally uploaded by inajeep.
Former President Jimmy Carter said Sunday he hopes to be buried in front of his home in Plains, the southwest Georgia town where he and his wife were born.
Great idea! When can we get started on that? What? Oh, he means after he dies?
Carter’s friend Hugo Chavez seems to be saying, “Let’s put the hole right here.”
Aliso Viejo man dies after falling while hanging Christmas lights
This cautionary tale includes a helpful tip from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission:
Falls from ladders or rooftops are comical in the movies, but in reality, they can be a very dangerous thing.
Actually, falls from ladders and rooftops can be funny in real life too, but only when they happen to someone else.
See also: Another Reason I Let My Wife Handle the Grocery Shopping
I am reminded of the lines from “The Hollow Men” by T.S. Eliot:
Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow.
FIGHT ON!
There have been a number of criticisms of the standard waterfall model, including
- Problems are not discovered until system testing.
- Requirements must be fixed before the system is designed — requirements evolution makes the development method unstable.
- Design and code work often turn up requirements inconsistencies, missing system components, and unexpected development needs.
- System performance cannot be tested until the system is almost coded; undercapacity may be difficult to correct.
The standard waterfall model is associated with the failure or cancellation of a number of large systems. It can also be very expensive.
Chance favors the prepared mind.
Today is the dumbest day of the rest of your life. If you’re doing a software project, you should know at least a little bit more about the project tomorrow than you do today, the next day a little bit more, and so on.
Don’t get into detailed decisions and plans at the beginning of the project. Defer decisions to the last responsible moment; that’s when you’ll have the best information available.
Upfront planning is not for the purpose of generating plans, which quickly go obsolete, but for the purpose of creating prepared minds with which to face the uncertain future.
Via Rumors and Rants:
NEWPORT BEACH — Two Los Angeles residents believed to be a father and a daughter were arrested early today near John Wayne Airport on suspicion of burglarizing four local businesses, authorities said.
Donald Perkins, 48, and Kenesha Perkins, 28, were pulled over for speeding at about 3:15 a.m. near Dove Street and Newport Place Drive, said Sgt. Evan Sailor of the Newport Beach Police Department.
Kenesha Perkins is a lucky girl . . . most black fathers are not actively involved in their children’s activities like this . . .
