I heard the UCLA scout team uses God to simulate Pete Carroll in game preparations.
Cory Lidle: 1972-2006
It is impossible to escape the impression that people commonly use false standards of measurement . . . and they underestimate what is of true value in life.
Two men die in a plane crash. One man’s death is widely lamented; the other man is barely mentioned.
Why? Because the first man was good at throwing a ball.
It just goes to show how insignificant some of the things that we think are significant really are.
Really? Well, now that this has been brought home to you, are you going to quit your job as a ballplayer or a person who writes about ballplayers and do something “significant” with your life?
I didn’t think so.
People I Thought Were Dead
- Norm Crosby – comedian
- Jane Goodall – primatologist
Updates
- Norm Crosby – died 11/7/2020, age 93
- Jane Goodall – died 10/1/2025, age 91
Homework Follies
“This is racist,” my son says.
I look over to see what he’s talking about. He’s sitting on the sofa doing math homework.
“What’s racist?” I ask. “The math book?”
“Yeah. They have answers in the back for problem 9 and problem 13, but not problem 11. Because I’m a Mexican.”
“You’re a Mexican?!”
“I’m a mixed kid,” he corrects me. His mom is Asian.
“You think the white kids’ book has the answer to number 11?”
“Yup. The Asian kids’ book has got all the answers.”
“Dude, check this out. Jackson collected s seashells. Petra and Tyrone collected 13 less than twice s. Now here’s the stupid part: I have to figure out how many seashells each person collected! COME ON! And the racist book doesn’t have the answers!”
I say, “Jackson’s pretty lame if a girl collected more than he did.”
“He’s pathetic!”
“One Art” by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Leaders Who Don’t Care About People
Leaders who don’t care about people don’t have anyone to lead, unless their followers don’t have a choice.
Which Way is the Finish?
From the Mighty Rubber Ducky Derby at Wild Rivers in Irvine:
Originally uploaded by Spike in Irvine.
“Yesterday” by W.S. Merwin
My friend says I was not a good son
you understand
I say yes I understand
In Praise of Invective
Via Alicublog:
He writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up to the topmost pinnacle of tosh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.
Tyler’s Puppy Face
Originally uploaded by amethystrainn.
ALOHA!
A friend is leaving tomorrow for a wedding in Hawaii. She asks me if I have any souvenir requests.
Yes! If you can get a picture of the entire bridal party mooning the camera with ALOHA written across their asses in tropical colors — you don’t have to write the O, just AL HA and bend over — that would be great!
If not, I don’t want anything . . .
The Dog Clairvoyant
I can tell what dogs are thinking by reading their facial expressions.
This dog, for example, belongs to a friend’s sister. As you can see, they bought a pumpkin costume and put it on the dog.
She is thinking, “If I was bigger, I would kill these people.”
Cooper, Benson and Rudy (rescued)
Originally uploaded by Doxieone.
A Pug Above, a Pug Below
Originally uploaded by Dunechaser.
Four Questions to Ask a Hiring Manager
I’m rereading parts of The Psychology of Computer Programming and I notice that several of Weinberg’s “food for thought” questions at the end of each chapter would be good questions to pose to a hiring manager:
- How long have you been in charge of your present group? How many of the original people remain? How many people have left and what were the reasons for their departure? What sort of provisions do you make for this kind of turnover?
- Describe the sequence of work planned for your current project. Is the actual work proceeding according to the original plan? Do you expect it to continue in this manner?
- How close is your progress reporting scheme to the reality of the work that goes on? What checks do you have to find out if it corresponds to reality?
- What is your impression of what motivates your staff? Is it the same for all of them?
How Did Peopleware Become a Best-Seller?
I don’t know how Peopleware became a best-seller. . . . I hardly run into any managers who read about their industry, management theory, or psychology, period. I used to believe that they were overloaded with information regarding the specifics of their job, but frankly, managers still aren’t trained, or do not educate themselves, to do their jobs.
Mozart for Muslims
A German opera house announced that it would cancel its staging of Mozart’s “Idomeneo” because Berlin police concluded that staging the opera — which includes a scene in which Jesus, Buddha, Poseidon and Muhammad are beheaded — would pose an “incalculable security risk” from jihadists. Germany, recall, proudly opposed the Iraq war — but still narrowly missed a Spain-style terrorist attack on its rail system this summer.
A leading Muslim spokesman in Germany explained that he was all for free speech, as long as it didn’t offend Muslims. The Germans’ all-too-typical appeasement of terrorism no doubt makes them “safer” and “creates” fewer terrorists.
And all it cost them — for now — is Mozart.
Lucasfilm Donates $175 Million to USC
Gift continues filmmaker George Lucas’ long-standing support of educational initiatives at his alma mater.
The Poster Boy for Self-Aggrandizement
Sweet Jesus, I followed a link to another Tom Peters e-paper this afternoon: The “PSF” is Everything (or: Making the Professional Service Firm a “Lovemark” in an Age of “Managed Asset Reflation”)
After reading the title alone, I’d already overdosed on the trademark Peters abbreviations, coinages, scare quotes and extraneous punctuation. BUT . . . I have to admit I was curious about Managed Asset Reflation. What is that?
Here’s how Peters introduces the term in his Tourette’s-inspired style:
Hence the story that I read on 4 March 2004: Thailand’s Prime Minister, a businessman, Thaksin Shinawatra, on the day before had just opened “Bangkok Fashion City.” It’s a monster facility that aims to help make Thailand “cool” … to create Thai … LEADERSHIP IN FASHION! (Fashion = Cool = Value Added.) Economists have a way of sterilizing everything. And they managed to sterilize this one, too. The PM’s new economic approach (dubbed
“Thaksinomics,” after “Reaganomics”) amounted to what the local economists dubbed … “MANAGED ASSET REFLATION.”
Peters’ take on managed asset reflation?
(SCS.) (Seriously Cool Shit.)
To give you an idea of how out of touch Peters is with his surroundings: Thaksin took political corruption to new levels even by Thai standards, and last week was ousted in a military coup, thus bringing to an end the Seriously Cool Shit of Thaksinomics.
What the paper is really about, though, is what all of Peters’ work is about: Tom Peters.
He uses the word “I” 386 times, “me” 93 times, “my” 120 times, the phrase “Tom Peters” 11 times, and the neologism “Tom-message” once.
The poster boy for self-aggrandizement.
How NOT to Do a PowerPoint Presentation
Click on the photo to enlarge and feel the full horror.
Originally uploaded by Zach Graham.