People often ask me: How’s the computer business?
One thing I can tell them is that a significant number of my Merry Christmas emails from former colleagues end with something like this:
P.S. Please let me know if you hear of any job leads as I am currently unemployed.
After my son got close to 50 items on his Amazon Xmas wish list, I said it might be helpful to add a comment to the stuff indicating which things he wanted the most.
Now most of the items include one of the following three comments:
With varying numbers of exclamation points . . .
Got an email from Harvard this morning:
Hello Paul,
Thank you for catching the error on the Harvard at a Glance page. We now use the correct "principal."
Sincerely,
The Harvard News Office
You are quite welcome! How about throwing in free tuition for my kid?
I was marveling at the Harvard University fact page — 14.6 million volumes! Established 1636! — when I noticed “10 principle academic units.” Egads! A grammatical error on the Harvard site!
I’d better send them an email . . .
I noticed this weekend that Starbucks has rolled out the Christmas menu — Egg Nog Latte, Gingerbread Something-Or-Other . . . also that my local Starbucks has mounted a wreath on the inside of the entry door, anchored only at the top, so when you pull the door open, the wreath swings out and smacks you in the head.
Merry Christmas! Ouch!
Nearly 30 percent of Americans ages 18 to 24 cannot locate the Pacific Ocean on a map. You can try it yourself here.
Dat’s de ‘fect of education; dat’s de t’ing what’s gwine to rule;
Git dem books, you lazy rascal! Git back to yo’ place in school!
If you’ve ever wondered — I know I have — if certain of your colleagues completed the 8th grade, or rather spent their time jacking off like apes when they should have been doing math homework, you may be interested in Could You Pass 8th-Grade Math?, a sample of the Illinois State Board of Education’s math test for 8th graders.
A boy’s will is the wind’s will
And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts.
That’s a beautiful verse to me — not just what it says but the tempo of it . . . try reading it aloud and you’ll notice that you really need to slow down when you get to “long, long thoughts.”
I have a boy of my own now, and I can also tell you that a boy’s heart is simple and pure, and just by asking him does he want to play some catch or something, you can make him the happiest person in the world . . .
I don’t believe this at all. There aren’t enough genes to cover all the human frailties we’ve blamed on genetic causes.
The best thing about all the NBA players from Europe and Latin America is when they’re interviewed after the game, you can understand them.
My son is 9, a little older than I was when my dad took me to my first Angels game somewhere around 1966.
The conditions have been met. Within the hour, we’re leaving for Edison Field and Game 7 of the World Series.
Isn’t Dusty Baker a little old to have a 3-year-old son? And if he wants to bring the kid to work, to sit him in the dugout during the World Series, couldn’t he for godsake keep an eye on the kid so he’s not running around home plate in the middle of play?
I would have given anything to see that kid on the receiving end of a Ray Fosse-style collision. That would have been in my Top 10 Memorable Moments in Baseball for sure.
My son receives his tae kwon do black belt.
If our Director of Project Management took the time that he spends fine-tuning his goatee, his eyewear and his hair color, and put it into reading one or two of the classic software management texts, I probably wouldn’t get so squeamish every time I have to look at him.
I would also feel a little better about my career if our CEO didn’t wander into product demos while stuffing his face with Cheetos from the vending machine.
Thus spoke The Programmer.
I conclude that there are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple there are obviously no deficiencies and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
A feature which is omitted can always be added later, when its design and its implications are well understood. A feature which is included before it is fully understood can never be removed later.
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the bassoon recital.
I’m now the proud owner of two tickets to Game 7 of the World Series, provided there is a Game 7, and provided that it’s played at Edison Field (which it will be if the Angels are the AL champs).
There’s a sad story on Donnie Moore’s daughter in the Orange County Register today . . .
In 1986, the Angels were one out away from the World Series when Moore gave up a two-run homer to Boston’s Dave Henderson. The Angels lost the game, lost the next two games to lose the series, and — until this season — haven’t been in the playoffs since.
Three years later, Moore killed himself with a gun.
