I think of Anthony Bourdain as the guy who started the whole “bad-boy chef” industry, which has been, in my view, bad for society.
Or maybe it was Gordon Ramsay. Is Gordon Ramsay still alive?
RIP Anthony Bourdain
Anthony Bourdain, 1956-2018
I Feared That the Dam Might Break So I Loosed the River
I can never remake the thing I have destroyed;
I brushed the golden dust from the moth’s bright wing,
I called down wind to shatter the cherry-blossoms,
I did a terrible thing.I feared that the cup might fall, so I flung it from me;
I feared that the bird might fly, so I set it free;
I feared that the dam might break, so I loosed the river:
May its waters cover me.
Competitive Programming: POJ 2488 – A Knight’s Journey
Description
Background
The knight is getting bored of seeing the same black and white squares again and again and has decided to make a journey around the world. Whenever a knight moves, it is two squares in one direction and one square perpendicular to this. The world of a knight is the chessboard he is living on. Our knight lives on a chessboard that has a smaller area than a regular 8 * 8 board, but it is still rectangular. Can you help this adventurous knight to make travel plans?
Problem
Find a path such that the knight visits every square once. The knight can start and end on any square of the board.
Input
The input begins with a positive integer n in the first line. The following lines contain n test cases. Each test case consists of a single line with two positive integers p and q, such that 1 <= p * q <= 26. This represents a p * q chessboard, where p describes how many different square numbers 1, . . . , p exist, q describes how many different square letters exist. These are the first q letters of the Latin alphabet: A, . . .
Output
The output for every scenario begins with a line containing “Scenario #i:”, where i is the number of the scenario starting at 1. Then print a single line containing the lexicographically first path that visits all squares of the chessboard with knight moves followed by an empty line. The path should be given on a single line by concatenating the names of the visited squares. Each square name consists of a capital letter followed by a number.
If no such path exist, you should output impossible on a single line.
Sample Input
3 1 1 2 3 4 3
Sample Output
Scenario #1: A1 Scenario #2: impossible Scenario #3: A1B3C1A2B4C2A3B1C3A4B2C4
Solution below . . .
Those Weren’t Burglars, They Were “Confidential Informants”
F.B.I. Used Informant to Investigate Russia Ties to Campaign, Not to Spy, as Trump Claims — New York Times
It’s too bad for Richard Nixon that he wasn’t able to come up with a similarly quick-witted explanation for Watergate.
It reminded me of a joke:
A man sees one of his neighbors scattering crumbs all around his house.
“Why are you doing that?” he asked.
“I’m keeping the tigers away.”
“But there aren’t any tigers around here.”
“That’s right. You see how well it works?”
Galactic Meetup Scheduled
Our nearest neighbor, the Andromeda galaxy, is speeding toward the Milky Way at 250,000 miles per hour and will crash into us in 3.75 billion years.
The good news is that because of the vast distances between stars, it’s unlikely that any stars will actually collide.
Before you mark this event on your calendar, however, remember that our sun is continually growing. About 3 billion years from now, the sun will be 40 percent larger than its current state and all life on Earth will probably cease to exist.
Have a Coke!
Traditional religion turned the consciousness of sin into a condition for salvation, but the tortured sense of nothingness qualifies us now only for miserable extinction, for merciful release in lonely death.
That said, why not enjoy an ice-cold Coca-Cola?
Answers to Persistent Questions
Is there a God? No.
What is the nature of reality? What physics says it is.
What is the purpose of the universe? There is none.
Does prayer work? Of course not.
What happens when we die? We are put a few feet in the ground to blindly rot and disappear forever. Otherwise, things go on pretty much as before.
See You in Hell: Morgan Freeman Edition
[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE]
Greetings from the underworld!
I was looking forward to reading the “shocking” allegations against Morgan Freeman . . . it turns out he likes to look at women’s breasts!
WHAAAAT?!
Men like to look at breasts, women like to look at breasts . . . and he also says things like “I’d like to spend an hour with her.”
Every person on earth older than 12 has said the same thing. If looking at breasts and naming a person you’d like to fuck gets you condemned to Hell, I’m not going to have enough room to put all these people.
Heaven will be empty!
Public life in America is now dominated by whatever actresses are currently complaining about.
See you in Hell!
Amazon Devices Recording Private Conversations?
Is the woman’s name Alexa? No? It’s Danielle?
Despite what we’re told, it’s impossible that these microphones aren’t listening until you say their name — Alexa, Siri, OK Google, etc. How do they hear their name if they’re not listening?
I’m not listening until you say my name: Paul. Until then, I’m not hearing anything you say. Not listening, won’t repeat it to anyone. Your total privacy is assured.
There is No Doubt = There is Doubt
There is no doubt about it. The scenario that took place at Starbucks back in April is serious. Targeting someone because of their skin color in 2018 seems ridiculous, because it is. Haven’t we come far beyond this sort of thing in the past fifty years?
When someone says “There is no doubt about it” or “It is an indisputable fact” or “Everyone knows . . .”, rest assured that what follows will be an opinion about which there is nothing but doubt and the speaker wants to sidestep having to make a case for whatever he or she is putting forward.
It doesn’t make sense to preface something about which there really is no doubt by saying “There is no doubt about it.” It’s superfluous and silly.
If I were one of the Starbucks employees, I’d be suing for defamation. What evidence are you relying on to humiliate me with attacks on my motivation and my character?
I’m doing what I was told to do. You can’t sit in the store without buying anything. Bathrooms are for customers only. If I ask someone to leave and they won’t leave, call the police.
Not every bad thing that befalls a black American is racially motivated.
When Bad Things Happen to Psychics
It’s fun when bad things happen to psychics because you can always say “She didn’t see that coming!”
I Was in the House When the House Burned Down
I may be old and I may be bent
But I had the money till it all got spent
I had the money till they made me pay
Then I had the sense to be on my way
I had to stay in the underground
I was in the house when the house burned down
Experts and Empty Suits
Our inability to predict in environments subjected to the Black Swan, coupled with a general lack of awareness of this state of affairs, means that certain professionals, while believing they are experts, are in fact not. Based on their empirical record, they do not know more about their subject than the general population, but they are much better at narrating — or, worse, at smoking you with complicated mathematical models. They are also more likely to wear a tie.
Greatest Living American Authors
With the recent deaths of Philip Roth and Tom Wolfe, I’ve moved a couple more notches up the list of greatest living American authors.
Why not celebrate by picking up a copy of my book?
Philip Roth, 1933-2018
The final question assigned to the class was “What is life?” Merry’s answer was something her father and mother chuckled over together that night. According to Merry, while the other students labored busily away with their phony deep thoughts, she — after an hour of thinking at her desk — wrote a single, unplatitudinous declarative sentence: “Life is just a short period of time in which you are alive.” “You know,” said the Swede, “it’s smarter then it sounds. She’s a kid — how has she figured out that life is short? She is somethin’, our precocious daughter. This girl is going to Harvard.” But once again the teacher didn’t agree, and she wrote beside Merry’s answer, “Is that all?” Yes, the Swede thought now, that is all. Thank God, that is all; even that is unendurable.
RIP Philip Roth
Making Better Decisions
I can’t decide which one to get . . .
Competitive Programming: POJ 1159 – Palindrome
Description
A palindrome is a symmetrical string, that is, a string read identically from left to right as well as from right to left. You are to write a program which, given a string, determines the minimal number of characters to be inserted into the string in order to obtain a palindrome.
As an example, by inserting 2 characters, the string “Ab3bd” can be transformed into a palindrome (“dAb3bAd” or “Adb3bdA”). However, inserting fewer than 2 characters does not produce a palindrome.
Input
Your program is to read from standard input. The first line contains one integer: the length of the input string N, 3 <= N <= 5000. The second line contains one string with length N. The string is formed from uppercase letters from ‘A’ to ‘Z’, lowercase letters from ‘a’ to ‘z’ and digits from ‘0’ to ‘9’. Uppercase and lowercase letters are to be considered distinct.
Output
Your program is to write to standard output. The first line contains one integer, which is the desired minimal number.
Sample Input
5 Ab3bd
Sample Output
2
Solution below . . .
EppsNet Writing Tips: How to Start
A reader asks:
I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts before writing. I’ve had a difficult time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out there. I do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or hints?
Let’s start out assuming that you actually have something to say. If you don’t, that’s okay. Come back later when you do.
The sticking point in starting to write is, in my opinion, trying to do two things at once, i.e., figuring out what you want to say and how you want to say it.
Take it one step at a time. To start with, write it all down like you’re talking to someone. Don’t edit as you go, e.g., “Is this the best word choice?”, “Should I say this before that or that before this?” You will think about all that later. Write like you talk . . . just stream it.
What is your topic? Do you need 10-15 minutes to gather yourself before conversing with someone about it? Probably you don’t.
Once you’ve got it all written down, only then do you start to revise. Write, then revise. Don’t try to write and revise at the same time.
Household Hint of the Day
Turning it off and back on again also fixes washing machines.
The Last Four U.S. Presidents on Jerusalem
Jerusalem is still the capital of Israel and must remain an undivided city. — Bill Clinton
As soon as I take office, I will begin the process of moving the United States ambassador to the city Israel has chosen as its capital. — George W. Bush
Jerusalem will remain the capital, and I have said that before and I will say it again. — Barack Obama
I have decided that it is time to officially recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. — Donald Trump
Today we officially open the United States embassy in Jerusalem. Congratulations, it’s been a long time coming. — Donald Trump