All I’m hearing about the last few days is Donald Trump and a Mexican judge and racism.
“Mexican” isn’t a race. It’s a nationality, like “Italian” or “Irish.” It’s a reference to a person’s heritage.
Just FYI, everybody . . .
Out of the blue and into the black
They give you this, but you pay for that
And once you’re gone, you can never come back
When you’re out of the blue and into the black.
I hope our boy appreciates that his mom and I never let him fall into a gorilla enclosure. He’s 22 now. Anything he falls into going forward is on him.
I’m not in the “could have happened to anyone” camp on this. The Cincinnati Zoo has more than 1.2 million visitors per year. Out of tens of millions of visitors, only one has fallen into the gorilla exhibit.
A 1 in 10 million occurrence doesn’t fall under the “could have happened to anyone” umbrella in my opinion.
26 experts give their predictions for the championship series rematch between the Warriors and Cavaliers. — ESPN.com
“Experts.”
Provide some insight or context if you have any. How does a prediction add to anyone’s understanding or enjoyment of the game? What is the difference between a prediction from an “expert” and a prediction from a random loudmouth drunk at a sports bar?
I notice that a large majority of the “experts” are predicting a victory by the favorite (the Warriors), which is the same result you’d get from a bunch of drunks at a sports bar, or a group of dart-throwing monkeys (of course adjusting the monkeys’ targets to provide a proportionally larger area for the favorite).
So what have we learned?
A new Meetup group called Praying for Startups sent me the following email:
Are you involved in a startup? Are you a Christian?
Meet fellow Christians from all walks of the entrepreneurial eco-sphere, as we share and pray for our teams and the startup community, both locally and abroad.
I’d be interested to see some numbers on the correlation between prayer and startup success. I suspect there isn’t any. Also the relative efficacy of prayers to a Christian God vs. Allah, Buddha, Satan, Zeus and all other supernatural beings.
That is the difference between me and you.
You pack an umbrella, #30 sun goo
And a red flannel shirt. That’s not what I do.
I put the top down as soon as we arrive.
The temperature’s trying to pass fifty-five.
I’m freezing but at least I’m alive.
Nothing on earth can diminish my glee.
This is Florida, Florida, land of euphoria,
Florida in the highest degree.
You dig in the garden. I swim in the pool.
I like to wear cotton. You like to wear wool.
You’re always hot. I’m usually cool.You want to get married. I want to be free.
You don’t seem to mind that we disagree.
And that is the difference between you and me.
A little girl was in a drawing lesson. She was six, and she was at the back, drawing, and the teacher said this girl hardly ever paid attention, and in this drawing lesson, she did. The teacher was fascinated. She went over to her, and she said, “What are you drawing?” And the girl said, “I’m drawing a picture of God.” And the teacher said, “But nobody knows what God looks like.” And the girl said, “They will, in a minute.”
The administrator at the dentist office asks me, “Has anything changed since your last visit?”
“Well . . . we’re all 6 months closer to death.”
“I meant your contact info and insurance,” she says.
“No, those remain unchanged with the passage of time.”
I really hope what isn’t killing me is making me stronger . . .
New poll finds 9 in 10 Native Americans aren’t offended by Redskins name — The Washington Post
Man, am I sick of people who get offended on behalf of a group they don’t belong to, projecting their own phony outrage on the group members and their own biases on non-group members.
In light of the poll results, non-Native American opponents of the Redskin name seem to have changed their position slightly to say that Native Americans are in fact being offended but are too dumb to realize it.
Dear Amy: I am a happily married 27-year-old woman about to have my first baby, and I am terrified because it isn’t my husband’s baby.
Last spring, another woman and I took a trip to the Bahamas. At the hotel I had a massage and was seduced by the masseur. I tried to resist, but I guess I got carried away. I sort of cooperated once things got started.
After some prenatal tests, my doctor recently told me that the baby’s blood type is different from both my husband’s and mine, which means the baby is not his. When the baby is born, it will be very obvious: My husband and I are white, and the masseur is black.
I can’t tell my husband; I think that he would leave me. It’s too late for an abortion. What can I do? Please advise me.
I have a short video from the Haas Business School graduation last year, I don’t think I ever posted it . . .
The ideal consumer is someone who is anxious, depressed and constantly dissatisfied. Academic studies from the most respected institutions show that sad people are bigger spenders. Why do you think our lives are saturated with images of flawless, unattainable beauty?
[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE]
Along with pleas for money, almost 100 percent of the cardboard signs I see being held by people on freeway off-ramps and the like include the phrase “God Bless You.”
There seems to be a correlation between belief in God and begging for money on off-ramps. Notice that you never see Satanists begging for money.
Why don’t they pray for the money? Maybe they did pray and God told them to make a cardboard sign?
I tell my acolytes if they need money, learn to code.
See you in Hell . . .
“How many pieces are you playing at the piano recital?”
“Two,” I reply, “but one is very short.”
“Who are the composers?”
“Bach and Liszt.”
“What is that? ‘Box’?”
“Why do you ask me who the composers are if you’ve never heard of Bach?”
“That’s salesmanship.” Did I mention he’s a salesman? “You’ve gotta push it.”
I’m in an office this morning where a TV is tuned to Good Morning, America . . . it’s Mothers Day weekend and a woman is being honored because she has children, who are now grown, and she prioritized the children in her life and made sacrifices for them.
That’s where we are in the 21st century — a mother who centers her life around her children is a national phenomenon.
Can’t wait for Fathers Day . . .
And those that had money looked good but weren’t too happy
And those who didn’t have money didn’t look so good
And weren’t too happy either and in a city of three million
two hundred and sixty nine thousand nine hundred eighty four
Everyone was lonely
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!
Did you know that dogs are descended from wolves? Wolves aren’t as big or strong as lions or tigers or bears but on the other hand you never see a wolf in the circus, do you?
— Lightning 
I noticed walking to Starbucks this morning that my right knee was making a snapping noise every time I took a step. No pain, just a snapping noise. So I prayed to God to make the snapping noise stop — and it did!
But then it started up again a few minutes later. 🙁
It turns out that the noise wasn’t coming from my right knee, it was coming from the right pocket of my sweatpants, where my house key was bouncing against my phone.
