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Product Name of the Day:
"Trump Footlong" https://t.co/KDi9gkH3Io… #naming #startup #trump #chicago pic.twitter.com/JCkST0ZAS6
— Igor Naming Agency (@igornaming) March 13, 2016
I’ve Never Even Been to Chicago
This is not true, I’ve never even been to Chicago.
— Lightning 
More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Full-Throated
“Full-throated” seems to be used a lot lately to describe politicians and their utterances, i.e., full-throated endorsements, full-throated denunciations, etc.
What a pretentious nonsense word. Instead, just say “loud.”
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Joe Lunardi
Does anyone have a more useless job than “bracketologist” Joe Lunardi? He spends the entire college basketball season forecasting tournament seedings: this team’s in, this team’s out, this team’s on the bubble, this team is going to be seeded number whatever . . .
Then the season ends and the actual tournament seedings are announced, making all of Joe Lunardi’s work meaningless. Either the actual seedings line up closely with Joe Lunardi’s predictions or they don’t, but other than Joe Lunardi, who cares?
On that note, here’s an article by Joe Lunardi explaining “how the selection committee got so much wrong” with this year’s brackets:
The committee’s performance is slipping, year over year, and it’s my job to point that out when necessary. . . . what you have is a selection and bracketing process that appears to have gone off the rails.
Actually Joe, your job, if I understand it correctly, is to accurately forecast the results of the selection committee. It’s not the job of the selection committee to match your predictions. And if your predictions don’t match the actual selections, that doesn’t indicate that the selection committee sucks, it indicates that you suck.
This Was the Room I Had to Live In
This was the room I had to live in. It was all I had in the way of a home. In it was everything that was mine, that had any association for me, anything that took the place of a family. Not much; a few books, pictures, radio, chessmen, old letters, stuff like that. Nothing. Such as they were they had all my memories.
Fun Fact of the Day
If you try to send “Oh good” as an email reply but type “Oh god” by mistake, your spell checker will not flag that as an error.
Chuck and Chip
I’d like to work with a guy named Chuck because I like the word “upchuck,” as in “What’s up Chuck?” That’s something I would say a lot.
It’s also a dream of mine to work with someone named Chip so every day when one of us went home I could say “Goodbye Mr. Chip.”
You Already Know Who I Am
I clicked an Unsubscribe link from an email and got a web page with this form:
YOU ALREADY HAVE MY EMAIL ADDRESS! YOU SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THIS LINK IN IT!
Mysterious Ways
And it came to pass after these things, that God tested Abraham and said unto him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Behold, here I am.” And He said, “Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah, and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.”
‘Schizophrenic’ nanny SMILES in Russian court after claiming ‘Allah ordered her’ to decapitate four-year-old girl and walk Moscow streets brandishing the child’s severed head – Daily Mail Online
India: 400 men cut off their testicles to ‘get closer to God’ following advice from ‘guru’ – International Business Times
God seems to enjoy the occasional game of Supernatural Simon Says:
Cut off your testicles.
Cut off your own fookin testicles, mate.
God says cut off your testicles.
Oh . . .
Parents Use “Naturopathic” Remedies to Treat Toddler, Who Dies
A southern Alberta couple accused of allowing their meningitis-infected toddler to die four years ago tried home remedies such as olive leaf extract and whey protein rather than take him to a doctor, a Lethbridge jury heard Monday.
David Stephan, 32, and his wife Collet Stephan, 35, have pleaded not guilty to failing to provide the necessaries of life for 19-month-old Ezekiel, who died in March 2012.
First point: If the name “Ezekiel” shows up on a birth certificate, alert the local authorities to be on the lookout for additional crazy behavior in the future.
In a bid to boost his immune system, the couple gave the boy — who was lethargic and becoming stiff — various home remedies, such as water with maple syrup, juice with frozen berries and finally a mixture of apple cider vinegar, horse radish root, hot peppers, mashed onion, garlic and ginger root as his condition deteriorated.
The Stephans run a nutritional supplements company called Truehope Nutritional Support Inc., which distributes a product called Empowerplus. They also tried treating Ezekiel with Empowerplus.
The Stephans have said that they prefer “naturopathic” remedies because of their family’s “negative experiences” with the medical system. Now that they’ve also had a “negative experience” with naturopathic remedies, I’m thinking it’s a good opportunity to reassess their position.
The family has posted on social media that they feel they are being unfairly persecuted and that their approach to health should be respected.
If your son dies because you refused to take him to a doctor even though you knew he was sick, then I’d say that any persecution of you is both fair and appropriate.
As for respecting your “approach to health,” that would require ignoring the fact that your approach to health resulted in the probably unnecessary death of a 19-month-old child. That’s a pretty strong argument against your approach to health.
Remember folks, there’s not such thing as “alternative” medicine. There’s “medicine” and there’s “things that have not been proven to work,” like curing meningitis with maple syrup.
R.I.P. Tiger
A tragic end to a once-promising golf career . . .
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Michael Bloomberg
Michael Bloomberg decides against run for president — CNN Money
The only thing I know about Bloomberg’s political career is that he banned the sale of large cups of soda in New York. Forget that I think drinking large cups of soda is one of the great pleasures of life, anyone who can’t mind his own goddamn business a little better than that, anyone who considers himself entitled and qualified to tell people what to do with their lives at that kind of a micro level, should be beaten with sticks, not elected to public office.
What would he do as president, institute a national bedtime?
Aside
It’s lonely at the top. It’s lonely at the bottom too. It’s lonely in the middle . . .
Celebrating Women and Pancakes
Today is International Women’s Day AND National Pancake Day! It is a day of celebration!
The Most Transparent Liar in Modern Times?
I’m the most transparent public official in modern times. — Hillary Clinton
“That’s why as Secretary of State I ran a shadow government from a private email server, sending and receiving communications regarding secret programs, anti-terrorist activities, drone strikes, etc., so that there would be no public record of my activities.
“I also give paid speeches to Wall Street firms under a contract that prohibits anyone from releasing a transcript of what I said.”
What a scream! Maybe she means she’s the most transparent liar in modern times . . .
Prominent Republicans Re: Donald Trump
If our self-indulgent Republican party establishment had really wanted to prevent a takeover of the GOP, they should not have gorged on political power while they failed to do anything to prevent the decline of the country. Our leaders could have led. They could have done more than say ‘no’ to Democrats while offering no alternative.
They should have stood up for the change Donald Trump is bringing now but they didn’t.
Now, Trump has earned the nomination. He won it, fair and square and we should respect that. Donald Trump whipped the establishment and it is too late for the limp GOP establishment to ask their mommy to step in and rewrite the rules because they were humiliated for their impotence.
If Trump is going to be our nominee, as I believe he is, it is our mission to support Trump and make him the best nominee and president possible.
I’m used to being the moral scold, but Trump is winning fair and square, so why should the nomination be grabbed from him? We’ve been trying to get white working-class people into the party for a long time. Now they’re here in huge numbers because of Trump and we’re going to alienate them? I don’t get it. Too many people are on their high horse.
Morning Morgantown
So so beautiful . . .
I Have a System That I Think Would Work
I have a system that’s based on leaving myself visible reminders. I think it would work except that my wife likes to move things consistent with where she thinks they should be, even if they’re not her things, so instead of a working system I have a non-stop “Where’s Waldo?” challenge, which is not as fun as it might sound . . .
Peace Will Come (According to Plan)
Aside
Inc.com: How to Defeat Mindset Inequality