No One Seems to Understand Point Spreads
I lost track of the number of headlines I saw this week regarding how USC (3-3) could possibly be a 3.5-point favorite over undefeated and third-ranked Utah (6-0).
It’s weird that no one in sports journalism seems to understand what a point spread really is.
It’s not a prediction. It’s not a scientific analysis. It’s a gambling mechanism. The only purpose of a point spread is to distribute the betting equally on both teams so the bookmaker can pay the winners with the losers’ money.
USC is a 3.5-point favorite for one reason and one reason only and that is because there are more people willing to bet on USC than there are people willing to bet on Utah, so a carrot is offered in the form of 3.5 points to induce more bettors to put their money on the Utes.
Substitute any other team . . . Team X is a betting favorite because more people want to bet on Team X than on Team X’s opponent.
“Team X is a betting favorite” is not the same thing as “Vegas thinks X is the better team.” Vegas has no opinion on who has the better team. That’s why point spreads fluctuate, sometimes by a lot. If too much money comes in on Team X, the point spreads changes to be more favorable to X’s opponent.
FIGHT ON!
Aside
I can’t wait for President Trump to outlaw “For English, press 1” on automated phone systems.
Why Jennifer Lawrence Makes Less Than Bradley Cooper
Jennifer Lawrence is complaining (Why Do I Make Less Than My Male Co-Stars?) that she and American Hustle co-star Amy Adams received 7 percent of the profits for the film, while male actors Bradley Cooper and Christian Bale and director David Russell received 9 percent.
The only explanation I can think of for this inequity is that Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Adams were willing to work for 7 percent. It doesn’t make sense to sign a deal for 7 percent and then complain that you didn’t get 9 percent. If you want 9, ask for 9. If it’s going to bother you to make less than a male co-star, ask for the same deal as the male co-star.
Does Jennifer Lawrence have an agent? This doesn’t seem super complicated . . .
See You in Hell
[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE]
I’m hearing a lot of Orange County residents complaining about the heat this weekend. Take it from someone who knows about heat: 98 degrees is not heat. You’ll see what I’m talking about soon enough. Enjoy the 98-degree temperatures while you can.
On a related note, why does everyone say “Jesus Christ, it’s hot” and no one says “Satan, it’s hot”?
See you in Hell . . .
Pange Lingua
Dulce lignum,
Dulces clavos,
Dulce pondus sustinet.
Sweet the wood,
Sweet the nails,
Sweet the weight you bear.
Does Anyone Else See a Problem Here?
What Can Be Done About Gender Diversity in Computing?
That is the question posed in, among other places, the October 2015 issue of Communications of the ACM.
Since gender is no longer a biological imperative connected to one’s physical anatomy, there’s now a simple answer to this. Men (and women, but that’s not relevant to this question) can identify as either gender, independent of reproductive organs and chromosomes, and a thoughtful consideration of the uniqueness and validity of every person’s experiences of self requires a societal stamp of approval.
Google or Facebook or any organization that wants to improve its gender diversity metrics can offer some modest incentive (could be financial, could be you use the women’s locker room at the company gym … use your imagination!) for workers to identify as female. Have a 50 percent female workforce by Friday!
Now that I’ve written this down I’m thinking that maybe I should be starting up a diversity consulting firm rather than giving the idea away for nothing. Room for expansion: Racial identity is fluid now as well (see here and here).
Thus spoke The Programmer.
Mutual Admiration
Our boy is very handsome, his mom says. She says she can’t understand how that happened.
“You don’t think I’m handsome?” I ask.
“We’re average-looking people, let’s be honest about it. You don’t agree?”
“I think you’re very beautiful.”
“You’re very handsome,” she says, after a pause almost too short to notice.
Frankie Ford, 1939-2015
I have a quote for you on that “One-Hit Wonder” thing. I’d like to go on record right here saying, whoever that disc jockey was that coined that phrase, well he’s a no-hit wonder! I mean, it can get rude. A DJ did that to me one time in his introduction. I turned to him and said, “Well, you’re a no-hit wonder. What have you ever done?” Some people have five records that sell a million each. Some sell none. I’ve had one that sold 30 million! And I’ve outlived that one record. I’ve been 38 years at this and it’s still going.
[youtube https://youtu.be/i5tIHtbctFQ]
RIP, Frankie Ford
My Name is Fido
From an actual email:
Hello,
My name is Fido and I’m an IT recruiter at TechDigital Corporation. We are currently hiring a .Net Developer/Software Engineer preferrably [sic] with experience in the Financial domain for a W2 or C2C Contract for one of our direct clients in Green Bay, WI.
Fido Xavier
Recruiter
- I live in California. Are there no software engineers in Wisconsin or anywhere between California and Wisconsin?
- On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.
Thus spoke The Programmer.
Ninja Death Touch
Does anyone know if there’s a Ninja Death Touch Calculator available for Android? Asking for a friend . . .
In the Dim Mak method, the Needle Finger can be calibrated to cause a delay of up to one year in the actual moment of death, depending on the force and direction of its application. But the timing is critical.
Even a perfect blow to the correct meridian at the wrong time — might as well stay home and watch a Jackie Chan movie.
The Tweet of God
I’m your dope-ass divinity
Trollin’ with My trinity
Droppin’ top tweets in your immediate vicinity
Flingin’ fly phrases from the fringes of infinity.
Aside
What is the hardest thing about living alone — having no one to blame or having no one to forgive?
New Activities for Sisyphus
Remove second space after period from each sentence in thousand page document, close without saving, repeat.
What Are Friends For?
A young man once approached Socrates and asked to be given knowledge and understanding. Socrates took him down to the seashore, led him into the water and forced his head under the waves. The youth struggled and when his resistance had nearly stopped, Socrates dragged him up on the shore.
Later, the youth asked why Socrates had acted as he did.
“When you were under the water, what was the one thing you wanted more than anything else?” asked Socrates.
“Air,” was the reply.
“When you want knowledge and understanding as badly as you wanted air,” said Socrates, “you won’t have to ask anyone to give it to you.”
Cheaper Than Wallpaper
From the 60 Minutes interview with Donald Trump:
Scott Pelley: I was in your office . . . All the pictures on the wall are pictures of you.
Donald Trump: –well, it’s cheaper than wallpaper.
A Pug is Playing the Drums
Overheard (Samuel T. Coleridge Edition)
HIM: Sir Leoline, the Baron rich– Hath a toothless mastiff bitch–
HER: Which.
HIM: I beg your pardon.
HER: Which, not bitch.
HIM: We’ll look it up.
The Perfect Murder, Revisited
I have long maintained that the best way to kill someone and get away with it is to push them off a cliff. It’s simple, clean. no need to dispose of evidence, and reasonable doubt is almost assured.
It’s not totally foolproof however. Let’s look at where the defendant in this case went wrong:
Harold Henthorn scouted the remote area of the popular park 75 miles north of Denver nine times before bringing his wife with him. He was searching for the “perfect place to murder someone,” where there would be no witnesses and no chance of her surviving, prosecutor Suneeta Hazra said.
Don’t make nine trips to reconnoiter the scene of the crime. Don’t even make one trip. It’s both unnecessary and highly suspect.
Prosecutors argued the fatal fall was reminiscent of the death of Henthorn’s first wife, Sandra Lynn Henthorn, who was crushed when a car slipped off a jack while they were changing a flat tire in 1995 — several months after their 12th wedding anniversary. Henthorn has not been charged in that case, but police reopened the investigation after Toni Henthorn’s death.
Details of the earlier case dominated the trial. A paramedic who responded to the 1995 accident testified that Henthorn didn’t seem upset by what had happened, and an investigator said a shoe print found on the vehicle suggested it might have been pushed.
There’s a reason magicians never repeat the same trick. Just count yourself lucky for getting away with killing the first wife. A shoe print?! No . . . don’t kill any more wives.
Why was the first wife under the car to change a tire? I’ll lift the tire, honey, and you get under there and help me pull it on from the back. I would not want to explain that in a court of law.
She inherited a million bucks and when she died it came to me
I can’t help it if I’m lucky