Three rules to write by: Write naked. That means to write what you would never say. Write in blood. As if ink is so precious you can’t waste it. Write in exile, as if you are never going to get home again, and you have to call back every detail. RIP Denis Johnson Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Death
One Last Goodbye
We spread Lightning‘s ashes at Huntington Dog Beach this weekend. We didn’t make a big production of it — it’s probably illegal, for one thing — but we hiked out to the end of the rock pier and gave him back to the sea. The Dog Beach and the Irvine Dog Park were the places he was at his best — off-leash and able to be his dominant alpha pug self. For example, here’s a (blurry) photo of him assassinating a puggle who carelessly but intentionally blindsided him at the dog park: Lightning wrote a poem he wanted us to read when we spread his ashes. I think he plagiarized it, to be honest . . . he wasn’t much of a poet but we loved him . . . I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened… Read more →
Looking For a Vet in Orange County?
We took Lightning to Animal Hospital of Irvine his whole life — 13 years. We boarded him there too when we went out of town. They took excellent care of him. How do I know that? Because years ago we used to board him at PetSmart and it was always a struggle. He didn’t want us to leave him there. I thought it was because he didn’t want us to leave him anywhere but when we started boarding him at Animal Hospital, his tail was wagging like crazy when we dropped him off. They gave him lots of attention and took him for lots of walks and even let him out of the kennel and let him walk around the office. We had to let Lightning go last weekend. Wendy, one of the staff members, came into the procedure room where we were waiting and said how sorry she was.… Read more →
Lightning, 2003-2017
We got Lightning as a Xmas present for our boy in 2003. Things we learn from dogs: Unconditional love Nothing lasts forever Later in life, Lightning lost most of the use of his back legs. He had to drag them a little when he tried to walk. He couldn’t jump anymore and couldn’t go up or down the stairs but he never complained about that. He also lost his eyesight. Never complained about that either. He never got sad or frustrated when he occasionally walked into a wall or a piece of furniture. He had a good mental map of the house and didn’t need or want help to get around. Last year, the vet thought he might have a leaky heart valve but that turned out not to be the case. His heart was invincible all the way. The only thing he ever got sad about was toward the… Read more →
Goodbye, Everybody
Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning! This is going to be my last post. I wish you all could have as happy a life as I did. I gave all the love I had and I got all of it back. Thanks for reading my blog. The first needle made me feel sleepy. All my memories are coming back now. I can see my mom and dad and my brothers and sisters. I can smell them. They’re all here now. Every moment I want I can live again. The 2nd needle. So sleepy. It’s like falling, but being wrapped and cozy too. I don’t need to breathe anymore. Goodbye, everybody . . . — Lightning Read more →
Defend your right to think. Thinking wrongly is better than not thinking at all. — Hypatia of Alexandria, murdered by a Christian mob in the year 415
The Grim Reaper Trifecta
It’s interesting (to me) that Chuck Barris and Chuck Berry had very similar names and died within 3 days of each other. Who would be a good candidate for the trifecta here? Marion Barry? Dave Barry? Rick Barry? Barry Williams? Chuck Yeager? Embed from Getty Images Read more →
Chuck Barris, 1929-2017
Chuck Barris was well ahead of his time in recognizing how many Americans are willing to make an ass of themselves on television. The quote below is from the movie based on his book Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. I don’t know if the quote is actually in the book but I include it here nonetheless . . . When you are young, your potential is infinite. You might do anything, really. You might be Einstein. You might be DiMaggio. Then you get to an age where what you might be gives way to what you have been. You weren’t Einstein. You weren’t anything. That’s a bad moment. RIP Chuck Barris Read more →
Mary Tyler Moore, 1936-2017
I gave up watching TV about 20 years ago when I realized that for 10 years before that, I hadn’t seen anything I enjoyed watching, just people with strained expressions on their faces saying nonsensical things to each other. My fondest memory of television is the CBS Saturday night lineup that I watched as a kid: All in the Family, The Mary Tyler Moore Show and The Bob Newhart Show, and I will always have fond memories of Mary Tyler Moore. RIP MTM Footnote: Those shows were followed on Saturday nights by The Carol Burnett Show, which I didn’t watch because Carol Burnett was not funny. Not to say women can’t be funny, but it seems like the women with the greatest comedic reputations — Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball, for example — are never funny. To be fair, Harvey Korman and Tim Conway were not funny either. Read more →
Debbie Reynolds, 1932-2016
Did Debbie Reynolds Die of a Broken Heart? — The New York Times Debbie Reynolds died one day after her daughter, Carrie Fisher. Correlation doesn’t imply causation blah blah blah but outliving a child must be an unbearable tragedy . . . RIP Debbie Reynolds Read more →
Carrie Fisher, 1956-2016
She died from complications of cardiac arrest. Her mother, Debbie Reynolds, is 84 years old and still alive. If I believed in God, I would pray to him that I do not outlive my child . . . My main, and perhaps only, contribution in life is raising a son who surpasses me on every conceivable metric, so that when I’m gone and he’s still here, the world will be a better place. RIP Carrie Fisher Update: Debbie Reynolds died the following day. Read more →
Relative Importance
On Facebook, a mass murder in Berlin is exactly as important as a 1980s sitcom character . . . Read more →
John Glenn, 1921-2016
When I was a boy, we all wanted to be astronauts . . . RIP John Glenn Read more →
Another Reason I Don’t Believe in God
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never… Read more →
I Thought Fidel Castro Was Already Dead
Maybe I’m thinking of Generalissimo Francisco Franco . . . Read more →
How Are You Doing?
I feel like I’m confronting the challenges of existence pretty effectively, with the following exceptions: the inevitability of death, freedom and its attendant responsibility, existential isolation, and meaninglessness. Read more →
For My Daughter
When I die choose a star and name it after me that you may know I have not abandoned or forgotten you. You were such a star to me, following you through birth and childhood, my hand in your hand. When I die choose a star and name it after me so that I may shine down on you, until you join me in darkness and silence together. — David Ignatow, “For My Daughter” Read more →
On-Again, Off-Again Respect for Grieving Parents
Hey, remember when the first night of the Republican convention featured Patricia Smith, mother of Sean Smith, one of the Americans slain in Benghazi? Remember how her speech was called a “cynical exploitation of grief”? Or the “unabashed exploitation of private people’s grief” or “the weaponization of grief”? Remember how she “ruined the evening”? How it was, “a spectacle so offensive, it was hard to even comprehend”? How some liberal commentators said, “Mrs. Smith was really most interested in drinking blood rather than healing”? How her speech represented an “early dip into the gutter”? Remember how a GQ writer publicly expressed a desire to beat her to death? — National Review Read more →
The Tigers Have Spoken
[youtube https://youtu.be/UcgUJ5FzKoY] They shot the tiger on his chain In a field behind the cages He walked in circles ’til he was crazy And he lived that way forever And he lived that way beside them, Separate from the other tigers He did not know another tiger They shot the tiger on his chain In a field behind the cages He walked in circles ’til he was crazy And he lived that way forever And he lived that way forever Just as long as he could remember If he’d wanted to remember It was the last time he had felt alive When he saw that brown-haired lady She fed him with a bottle as a baby And he recalled her face and smile They shot that tiger on his chain Read more →