I had a wisdom tooth taken out the other day. The oral surgeon, the first thing she said when she came in the surgery room was “Are those your real teeth in the front?” They are my real teeth so I said yes. “They’re not veneers?” “No.” “Do you drink coffee?” “No.” “Tea?” “No.” “Soda?” “I do drink a lot of sodas.” “Did you have them bleached?” “I did a number of years ago. Now I just throw some Crest whitening strips on there a couple times a year.” “You should be in a toothpaste commercial.” I don’t know if she was flirting with me. It’s been so long since anyone’s done that that I don’t know what it looks like anymore so I didn’t bring it up. “What are we doing today?” she asked, while looking over my X-rays. I think she already knew but I said “Taking out… Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Dentists
Questions and Concerns at the Dentist
After my dental appointment, the hygienist asks me, “Do you have any questions or concerns?” I say, “Oh I’ve got a ton of questions and concerns.” Pause. “Did you mean about my teeth?” “Those are the only ones I can help you with.” “Well . . . no, nothing along those lines. Thanks for asking though!” Read more →
Anything Bothering You?
“Anything new?” the dental hygienist asks. “Anything bothering you?” “Oh my god yes,” I reply. “The media coverage of Trump, for one thing.” “I meant with your teeth,” she says. “Oh my teeth are fine.” Read more →
Has Anything Changed?
The administrator at the dentist office asks me, “Has anything changed since your last visit?” “Well . . . we’re all 6 months closer to death.” “I meant your contact info and insurance,” she says. “No, those remain unchanged with the passage of time.” Read more →
At the Dentist
“Any pain or sensitivity?” the hygienist asks. “Oh my gosh yes . . . wait, you mean in my teeth?“ Read more →
Are You Experienced?
I got my teeth whitened today. Ah, vanitas vanitatum! “Have you done this before?” the esthetician asked me. “No . . . have you?” Read more →