EppsNet Archive: Dogs

We Have a New Chair

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This chair showed up in my house the other day . . . “It’s the most comfortable chair ever!” my son raves. “How much did it cost?” I ask him. “I dunno. Mom handled the paying part.” The dog seems to like it as well . . . Read more →

Never Mind

by  on Lightning
 

Video shows workers abusing pigs — MSNBC.com WHAT THAT IS OUTRAFEOUS WHO WOULSD DO SUCH A THING TO APUGS IM SO MAD I CANT EVEN TYPE Wait, what — pigs?! Well that’s not good either but on the other hand pigs are not man’s best friend and they are also delicious . . . — Lightning Read more →

Quality Time

by  on Lightning
 

My owner’s wife and son were gone for a week, so he and I got to spend a lot of quality time together. We are closer than ever! I even got to sleep on the bed at night, which is usually not allowed. Don’t tell anyone! — Lightning Read more →

Family Reunion

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My family is back from Thailand . . . At 6:30 this morning, I’m awakened by the dog pawing on my bedroom door. I get up to see what’s going on and find my son — who is never up at 6:30 in the morning but is still operating on Thailand time — playing a video game in the family room. “Rise and shine, parental!” he says. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work?” “I was up till 1 a.m. getting you home from the airport so I was planning to sleep until 7.” Meanwhile, the dog is trying to get someone’s attention by jumping around next to his food bowl. “Why is he jumping around like that?” I ask. “I don’t know,” the boy says. “Has he eaten?” “No.” “Mystery solved, Encyclopedia Brown. I’m going back to bed.”   A few minutes later, the boy inexplicably shows up in… Read more →

Well Played, Sir

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I’m waiting in line at Trader Joe’s while the checkout guy engages the woman in front of me in a conversation about her groceries, her occupation, where she went to school . . . it’s not even a particularly long conversation in terms of elapsed time . . . the guy just talks so fast that he’s able to cover a lot of ground. Personally, I don’t like conversing with service personnel unless they’re attractive women, and even then I don’t like it that much. OK, my turn. The first item out of the basket is a package of dog chews. “What kind of dog do you have,” the guy asks. I decide to try a little verbal jiu jitsu and say “We don’t have a dog. You ever try those things? They’re really good.” It doesn’t even slow him down. “Do they clean your teeth?” he asks. “I bet… Read more →

The Competition: A Sonnet

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“Get off,” my wife says — but the pug Just looks at her and doesn’t move. He’s lying in his favorite spot Beside his master on the couch. “Off,” she says — the dog just stares; He could win a test of wills But when she moves to pick him up He concedes defeat and jumps. “I want to sit there,” she explains. He looks at her, he looks at me Then jumps up from the other side, Lying down across my lap Sideways, facing down his foe As if to say “Your move.” Read more →

Another Difference Between Dogs and Cats

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Originally uploaded by Somerslea. One of my co-workers keeps calling another co-worker Misty, although her name is actually Mitzi. “I’m sorry,” she explains. “Misty is my roommate’s cat and I mix up the names in my mind.” “Do you ever call the cat Mitzi?” I ask. “Sometimes, but not as often as I call Mitzi Misty.” “Does the cat respond when you call her Mitzi?” “No, but she doesn’t respond when I call her Misty either.” Read more →

Happy New Year 2008

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We toasted the new year with a $42 bottle of Moet et Chandon — marked down to $25 at Albertson’s! Lightning enjoyed gnawing on the cork . . . in fact, when anyone turned their attention away from their champagne glass, he’d stick his snout in and lap up some bubbly . . . Read more →

Another Difference Between Dogs and Cats

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PULLMAN, Wash. — A 6-year-old border collie died in a house fire after waking up his owner out of a deep sleep to warn her of the blaze. Marilyn Harvey and her son, Brent, rushed out the basement door, but Sandler turned back. Marilyn’s husband, John Harvey, who was in Seattle at the time of the fire, thinks it was because Sandler wanted to save the family’s 17-year-old Australian shepherd, who was still inside the house. Both dogs died in last Friday’s fire, along with a bird named Kellogg. A cat named Raja escaped unharmed. — Associated Press Read more →

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