EppsNet Archive: Dogs

The Sheriff of the Dog Park

by  on Lightning
 

Hi everybody! That’s me, Lightning Epps, subduing an over-aggressive puggle at the Irvine dog park. I am like the sheriff of the dog park; I don’t start trouble but I don’t mind finishing it. Last week, I was chasing a pug named Blossom around and having a great time when a male husky ran up and started harassing Blossom. These big dogs think they can get away with anything where pugs are concerned. I snarled and charged at the husky. They never expect that. He got confused, ran straight into another husky and knocked it over. Everyone laughed. Then I went back to find Blossom and hump her but she wouldn’t let me. That’s gratitude for you . . . — Lightning Read more →

The Dog Clairvoyant

by  on 
 

I can tell what dogs are thinking by reading their facial expressions. This dog, for example, belongs to a friend’s sister. As you can see, they bought a pumpkin costume and put it on the dog. She is thinking, “If I was bigger, I would kill these people.” Read more →

Unrequited Love

by  on Lightning
 

I fell in love with a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel at the Irvine dog park last night. I kept showing off, trying to get her to play with me, but she just wanted to sit by her owner. When they left, I sat and stared out at the parking lot for a while . . . P.S. I’m over it now though. — Lightning Read more →

At the Dog Park

by  on Lightning
 

This is a picture of me, Lightning Epps, at the Irvine dog park. I love the dog park! Even though I’m not a puppy anymore — I’m almost 3 years old — I still like to chase and play a little bit. The bigger dogs try to dominate me sometimes. Usually I can stop them with just a look, but not always. The puggle in this picture, for example, kept blindsiding me and trying to climb on top of me. I chalked that up to youthful exuberance for a few moments, but when he kept doing it, I had to knock him down, leap on top of him, and sink my fangs into his neck. Not hard, just enough to reestablish the natural order of things. I don’t instigate this stuff, but I don’t put up with a lot of nonsense either. You know what they say — it’s not… Read more →

My Dog Sends a Bark Out to His Mom for Mother’s Day

by  on Lightning
 

Hi Mom! Happy Mothers Day! I can’t believe another whole year has gone by already! Seven dog years! LOL! My owners take really good care of me. They take me to the dog park here in Irvine almost every day. I am very loving, but when some dog at the park runs up on me and tries to get all dominant, I use my illegal ninja moves on him, especially if it’s a big dog, like a Great Dane. You would be proud of me! Thanks for teaching me to always stand up for myself. Miss you . . . Love, Lightning P.S. I wrote this post myself, but my owner helped me with the HTML. P.P.S. Say hi to Dad. — Lightning Read more →

Earthquake Preparedness

by  on 
 

A colleague of mine had a vacation planned, visiting some friends out of state. Then a psychic told her that an earthquake would strike California during that week, so she cancelled the vacation to stay home with her family. If I really believed that an earthquake was going to hit on a certain date, I’d make sure that I was out of town. Of course, I’d hope that my child made it through okay. And my dog. As for my wife, there’s nothing wrong with our relationship that a couple tons of rubble wouldn’t fix. Read more →

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