I was buying movie tickets with my 10-year-old boy when a woman with her 20-something daughter smiled at us and said, “When you get older, your kids will take you to the movies.” Later, in the snack bar line, I asked him, “So are you going to take me to a movie when I get older?” Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Kids
Introducing a 10-Year-Old to Poetry
Me: (reading aloud from syllabus for UC Irvine Young Writers class, in which my kid is enrolled) “We are going to be doing a variety of activities, including a facade poem, a four season poem, journal writing, and a memory snapshot story.” Him: Poems blow. Read more →
Kids in America
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average child care worker earns $9.57 an hour. This is less than we pay people to cut our hair ($10.40 an hour), shine our shoes ($9.95 an hour) and park our cars ($9.87 an hour). Repeat: Kids in America are being raised by people earning $9.57 an hour. That explains a lot . . . Read more →
Happy Birthday
We celebrated my son’s birthday yesterday by going to his favorite restaurant of all time, BD’s Mongolian Barbeque in Irvine, only to find that they’d gone out of business, finally beaten into submission by the ultra-popular BJ’s Restaurant & Brewery next door. Fortunately, 10-year-olds bounce back from these kinds of setbacks pretty quickly, especially when they get the Kung Fu Chaos game they really, really wanted . . . Read more →
Another Reason I Never Put My Kid in Day Care
LANCASTER, California (AP) — The foster mother of two young boys who died after being left five hours in a sweltering sport utility vehicle was arrested for investigation of child endangerment. The woman’s occupation? She runs a day care center. I’m looking at a picture on CNN.com, and the vehicle appears to be a Cadillac Escalade, so at least the kids died in a nice car . . . Read more →
Something Sad About Parenting
I see things around the house, like a bike that’s too small now, and think about the kid who used to ride it, and how I loved that kid, and now he’s gone . . . Read more →
First Library Card Discovered
Something I found around the house this weekend: my son’s first library card. It’s four or five years old now, it’s expired, but I still remember how proud I was when he got it. It’s hard to say why . . . I knew he could read a little bit, write his name — not very well, but still . . . I think at the time I was feeling that, for better or worse, he wasn’t a baby anymore, and here was the proof . . . Read more →
Introducing a 9-Year-Old to Yoga
“You learn to breathe with your whole body. So you breeeeathe in from the bottom of your feet up to the top of your head, and you breeeeathe out from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet . . .” “Can’t you just use your nose or mouth?” Read more →
HW’s Video Game Reviews
NBA Street The most racially insensitive video game I’ve ever seen. Every black character is a prancing, jive-talking buffoon, there’s a 7-foot-6 Japanese guy with a four-word English vocabulary — “Not in my house” — delivered with an accent straight out of a Godzilla movie, and followed by inscrutable grunting and mumbling . . . And so on. My kid loves it. Read more →
My 9-Year-Old Kid’s Current Favorite Expressions
Who cares? What’s your point? Serves you right. He sometimes abbreviates them as “WC?”, “WYP?” and “SYR.” Another favorite — borrowed from Calvin and Hobbes/Spaceman Spiff — is you say something to him and he responds,”‘GLOP GLOP GLORP.’ The alien being is trying to say something.” Read more →
HW’s Book Reviews
Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki with Sharon L. Lechter C.P.A. And I know a father who had a son He longed to tell him all the reasons for the things he’d done He came a long way just to explain He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping Then he turned around and he headed home again — Paul Simon, “Slip Sliding Away” Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. — John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester You might get the idea from reading this book that being rich is synonymous with being happy. I’ve never seen any indication that that’s true. Read more →
Conversations With a 9-Year-Old
“That’s a good haircut. You look very handsome.” “Did you say ‘handsome’?” “Yeah.” “I don’t want to be handsome.” “What do you want to be?” “Cooool.” Read more →
The Price of Kids
The waiter at Mongolian BBQ asks how old is my son, which throws me off a little bit because we’ve eaten there many times (we’d eat there every night if the boy had his way) and no one ever asked that before. Read more →
Happy Valentines Day
Husband promises to break off affair with office receptionist if wife loses weight and gets breast implants. Wife schedules liposuction and breast enhancement. Husband fails to break off affair as promised. Wife runs over husband with car, killing him. Colorado mom leaves six kids, ages 6 to 14, home alone with food, a credit card and $7 in cash while she takes a two-week vacation to Italy with her boyfriend. Read more →
Ansel Adams at 100
I took my family to see the Ansel Adams exhibit at LACMA. Adams’ work has always meant a lot to me. Wife: Why are all the pictures so small? Son: What time does the NBA Slam Dunk Contest come on? Wife: Are they all in black and white? Read more →
Another Reason to Restrict TV Viewing
In a local “headless torso” case, two boys were arrested for killing their mom, then cutting off her head and hands to hinder identification of the body, a trick they picked up from watching “The Sopranos.” This is why I don’t allow a lot of TV viewing at my house . . . Read more →
Teachers Making a Difference
Good or bad? It doesn’t say. OC Family‘s Special Annual “10 Teachers Making a Difference” issue is out . . . Read more →
Introducing a 9-Year-Old to Johnny Cash
I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time . . . “Really? How do you sleep?” Read more →
Christmas Wishes
After my son got close to 50 items on his Amazon Xmas wish list, I said it might be helpful to add a comment to the stuff indicating which things he wanted the most. Now most of the items include one of the following three comments: favorite extreme favorite!!!!!!!! very extreme favorite!!!!!!!!! With varying numbers of exclamation points . . . Read more →
8th Grade: Then and Now
Dat’s de ‘fect of education; dat’s de t’ing what’s gwine to rule; Git dem books, you lazy rascal! Git back to yo’ place in school! — James Weldon Johnson, “Tunk” If you’ve ever wondered — I know I have — if certain of your colleagues completed the 8th grade, or rather spent their time jacking off like apes when they should have been doing math homework, you may be interested in Could You Pass 8th-Grade Math?, a sample of the Illinois State Board of Education’s math test for 8th graders. Read more →