EppsNet Archive: Language

Pleonasm of the Day: Offended Muslims

 

ple·o·nasm, noun the use of more words than are necessary to express an idea; redundancy. an instance of this, as free gift or true fact. My fellow Americans — U.S. embassies in Egypt, Libya and Yemen have been attacked by Muslims offended by a YouTube video. “Offended Muslims” — there’s a pleonasm for you! The embassy in Egypt, hoping to pacify the attackers, issued a statement opposing “continuing efforts by misguided individuals to hurt the religious feelings of Muslims — as we condemn efforts to offend believers of all religions.” DISAGREE! We should be APPLAUDING efforts to offend religious believers. We should be STEPPING UP efforts to offend religious believers. My friends and I risked everything — including our lives, that’s how important it was to us — to ensure that Americans could speak their minds without interference from government. Religion is all horseshit anyway. There’s no God. There’s no… Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

 

I’m going to savagely murder the next person I hear use the word “spend” as a noun, as in “leveraging our spend.” Spend is a verb. Spending is a noun, e.g., “leveraging our spending.” I would still have to maim you for saying “leveraging” though, so try “getting the most for our money.” You can also avoid death by saying “How much does it cost?” instead of “What is our spend?” You have been warned. Read more →

As the Crow Flies

 

Let me tell you something about crows: Sometimes they fly in a big circle. Sometimes they fly every which way. Whoever invented “as the crow flies” to mean “in a straight line” must have never seen an actual crow . . . Read more →

Basically Done

 

One of our contract programmers tells me that his current project is “basically done.” “It’s done or it’s basically done?” I ask. “It’s done. Amanda is testing it.” “How do you know it’s done if she’s still testing it?” “All the tickets are closed except one, so it’s basically done.” “I don’t mean to give you a hard time. I’m trying to figure out if there’s a difference between ‘basically done’ and ‘done.’ Because usually there is. I inherited a project here last year that when I got it, it was ‘basically done,’ except it needed some more testing. I put one of my best guys on it and he was still working on it a year later when it was finally cancelled. It took a year to go from ‘basically done’ to cancelled. Hence my lack of fondness for hearing projects described as ‘basically done.’” Notes for next team… Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

 

Anyone who uses the word “surface” to mean “put forward for consideration,” e.g., “I’d like to surface a topic.” If you must use “surface” as a verb, I’m okay with you surfacing a driveway or surfacing a submarine, but if you’re going around surfacing topics, then you really need to leave the world immediately . . . Read more →

Aside

What is most easily put into words is not necessarily what is most important.

Aside

If you’re fat, don’t say you “work out,” just say you “exercise.”

Twitter: 2011-01-22

 

RT @capricecrane: To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world. And to everyone else, you're just some asshole. # Pet peeve: People who pronounce -th as -f, as in "toof" or "boof" # Read more →

Words

 

Our words no longer correspond to the world. When things were whole, we felt confident that our words could express them. But little by little these things have broken apart, shattered, collapsed into chaos. And yet our words have remained the same. They have not adapted themselves to the new reality. — Paul Auster, City of Glass Read more →

The Star of the Phillipines

 

Via Steven Landsburg | The Big Questions: One year ago today, somewhere in the Phillipines, a reporter checked his web logs and wondered where all the new readers were coming from. Today we celebrate the first anniversary of one of the most unfortunately worded headlines in the history of journalism. Read more →

New Programming Jargon

 

Excerpts from Global Nerdy: Bugfoot A bug that isn’t reproducible and has been sighted by only one person. Shrug Report A bug report with no error message or “how to reproduce” steps and only a vague description of the problem. Usually contains the phrase “doesn’t work.” Smug Report A bug report submitted by a user who thinks he knows a lot more about the system’s design than he really does. Filled with irrelevant technical details and one or more suggestions (always wrong) about what he thinks is causing the problem and how we should fix it. Read more →

More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

 

People who use the word “signage,” e.g., “We’ve got to put up some signage so people can find the right conference rooms.” Look — like most words, the plural of “sign” is formed by adding “-s” at the end, not “-age.” This kind of language abuse just makes everyone stupider. Read more →

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