EppsNet Archive: Sports
It’s Rivalry Week!
Passion
The theory of evolution claims that only the strong shall survive. But the theory of competition says that just because they’re the strong doesn’t mean they can’t get their asses kicked . . . Read more →
USC 38, Oregon 35
We’re here to ruin your season. — Matt Kalil The Ducks were 15-point favorites at home — 21-game home winning streak, 19-game conference winning streak . . . the Men of Troy haven’t had the speed to play with these guys the last couple of years but this year they do. It looked like the Trojans had fumbled the game away with 2:54 left, up 3 on the Duck 15-yard line — a blown handoff between a fifth-year senior (Marc Tyler) and a Heisman Trophy candidate (Matt Barkley). Oregon had already scored two fourth quarter touchdowns and the Trojan defense was tired. Ironically, the up-tempo Duck offense ran out of time. They never called timeout — they had all three available — as the clock ticked down between every play and they wound up having to send out their lousy kicker (60 percent, career long 40 yards) to try a… Read more →
JoePa Shielding the Assets
STATE COLLEGE, Pa. — Joe Paterno transferred full ownership of his house to his wife, Sue, for $1 in July, less than four months before a sexual abuse scandal engulfed his Penn State football program and the university. — nytimes.com Read more →
Thank God for Coach K
Without whom Duke would be known for nothing more than educating the idiot offspring of our nation’s tobacco barons. Now that he’s broken the record, are there any grand jury reports waiting to be released? Related articles Duke Basketball Coach Krzyzewski On Joe Paterno: ‘I Think He’s A Great Man And It’s A Horrific Situation’ (huffingtonpost.com) Read more →
USC Football – UNFILTERED – Notre Dame
USC 31, Notre Dame 17
Notre Dame came into the game at 5-2, USC at 5-1, both unranked, but for some reason Notre Dame was a 9-point favorite. The Trojans dominated on offense and defense, gave up a touchdown on a kickoff return, and left some points on the field at the end of the game when they let the clock run out on the Notre Dame 2-yard line. Looking ahead, the Irish played a lot of juniors and seniors, while the Trojans were playing a lot of freshmen and sophomores. I don’t know why the Irish, trailing by 14, let the Trojans run out the last four minutes of the game without ever calling a timeout to try to get the ball back. FIGHT ON! Read more →
Rick Neuheisel is the Right Man for UCLA
We have to say it was a game that obviously got away from us in the first half. We take from it what we can learn. We put the tough loss behind us and go forward. — Rick Neuheisel, after last night’s 48-12 loss to Arizona Amazing . . . Neuheisel’s in his fourth year at UCLA. He’s playing Arizona, a program in disarray, in a critical game for Bruin bowl aspirations. The Wildcats haven’t won a game against an FBS opponent in a year, since last season’s victory over UCLA. They fired their coach last week. Doesn’t Neuheisel expect to win games like this? And after losing 48-12, in a game that wasn’t even as close as the score indicates (it was 42-7 at halftime), all he can say is “Good learning experience. Let’s move on.” I can only echo what I said four years ago: Rick Neuheisel is… Read more →
Soccer Takes Over Sproul
Is it Good Etiquette to Call Someone a Cocksucker?
The rivalry between the Flyers and Rangers turned ugly in a penalty-filled preseason game that also appeared to include a homophobic slur from Philadelphia’s Wayne Simmonds to noted New York agitator Sean Avery. — FOX Sports on MSN I suppose that means he called him a faggot. The writer should probably look up the word “homophobic.” I don’t know exactly when it became out of bounds to call someone a faggot, but I know Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 for the same thing last season. Is it okay to call a guy a cocksucker? I think that’s okay. It’s essentially the same thing as calling him a faggot, but I think it’s still okay to call someone a cocksucker. Or to say “Suck my dick, motherfucker.” In fact, I think you could say “Suck my dick, you motherfucking cunt-lipped cocksucker” and still be within the bounds of decorum. Just don’t… Read more →
A Dream that No One Has
From today’s Cal vs. Presbyterian preview in The Daily Californian: CeeJay Harris is one of three Californians on the Presbyterian roster. He didn’t dream of playing football as a Blue Hose because that’s not a dream that anyone has . . . Read more →
Look Out for the Blue Hose
My boy texted me this afternoon that one of the starting cornerbacks for the Cal Golden Bears is in a class with him. In a masterpiece of scheduling, the Cal football team plays the Presbyterian Blue Hose this coming Saturday because apparently Bryn Mawr was unavailable. (Presbyterian College is a church-affiliated college of 1,200 students located in Clinton, S.C.) I texted back, “Tell him to look out b/c Presby is coming off a big win vs North Greenville. NORTH GREENVILLE!” Read more →
Kids Can Be Good at Anything
If they want to. If it’s important to them. For example: My kid has played hockey most of his life. We know some families where all the kids — boy or girl — play hockey, and almost all of them are good players. I don’t know any families where all the kids play hockey and they’re all bad. Those families have decided for some reason that it’s important for kids to play a good game of hockey. Another example: We live in a school district with a lot of Asian families. They don’t care about hockey. In Asian families, it’s important for the kids to be good at academics and music. You don’t see a lot of Asian guys in the National Hockey League, but you do see a lot of Asian kids at our nation’s best universities. It’s a parenting challenge — getting kids to assign importance to the… Read more →
Predictions
When did it become so imperative for sports pundits to make predictions on every goddamn game? Predictions are like assholes — everybody’s got one and they’re all full of shit. Give me some insight if you have some, but spare me the fucking picks! We may as well listen to people guess how many jellybeans are in the 10-gallon jar. Read more →
What Are the Laker Girls Going to Do?
The Laker Girls 2011 squad has been selected. (You can watch the auditions.) But with no Laker games, what are they going to do? Idea: Come over to the office, stand behind me all day and dance around every time I school someone. “Bob, let me be direct. Your idea has one problem. It’s stupid.” OHHHHHHH! Loud music! Dancing! Cheering! Read more →
People I Thought Were Dead
John Astin – actor Bill Dana – actor Fats Domino – rock and roll pioneer Don Larsen – baseball player, NY Yankees Bill Macy – actor Roger Mudd – TV journalist Della Reese – singer, actress Dale Robertson – actor Mickey Rooney – actor Jerry Van Dyke – actor Bill Virdon – baseball manager Earl Weaver – baseball manager, Baltimore Orioles Updates Bill Dana – died 6/15/2017, age 92 Fats Domino – died 10/25/2017, age 89 Don_Larsen – died 1/1/2020, age 90 Bill Macy – died 10/17/2019, age 97 Roger Mudd – died 3/9/2021, age 93 Della Reese – died 11/19/2017, age 86 Dale Robertson – died 2/26/2013, age 89 Mickey Rooney – died 4/6/2014, age 93 Jerry Van Dyke – died 1/5/2018, age 86 Earl Weaver – died 1/18/2013, age 82 Read more →
Hockey Parents I Have Known
My kid has played hockey most of his life. I’ve spent a lot of time over the last 12 or so years at practices, games and tournaments with other hockey parents. I’ll miss the parents who watch and wait without calling attention to themselves, don’t over-celebrate, and encourage their kids while pretending not to be nervous or sad. I won’t miss the obsessive, out-of-control loudmouths, or the parents who were too drunk to be nervous or sad. Read more →
Just Like the Pros
The boy comes home from somewhere this afternoon . . . “Where have you been?” I ask him. “Playing basketball,” he says, as he heads into the kitchen for a beverage. “I’ve been trying to call you. Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” “Does Kobe pick up his phone during a game? Neither do I.” Read more →
NARCh 2011 – Day 4
Semifinal: Devil Dogs vs. Tour Stealth Both teams played a strong game. The Devil Dogs gave up the first goal, evened it up at 1-1, then allowed the go-ahead goal with about four minutes left. They had some chances to tie it back up but couldn’t make it happen. Stealth added an empty-net goal with two seconds left. Final Score: Stealth 3, Devil Dogs 1 Semifinal: Choice Inline Selects vs. Top Gun I didn’t see this game because I was watching the Devil Dog semi so I can’t tell you anything about it other than the final score. Final Score: Selects 4, Top Gun 2 Bronze Medal Game: Devil Dogs vs. Top Gun Three of the four teams in the semifinals win a medal — gold, silver or bronze. One team — the loser of the bronze medal game — doesn’t. Coming into this game, I was trying to… Read more →