I’m buying a T-shirt online as a gift . . . now you might say a T-shirt is a cheap-ass gift, but trust me, it’s a cool T-shirt. The point is, it’s available in multiple sizes: S, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, 4XL, 5XL. Only in America. I seem to remember a time when XXL was the largest size you could get. What must a person look like to need a 5XL T-shirt? YOU’RE EATING TOO MUCH FOOD! GO TO THE GYM! Read more →
EppsNet Archive: T-Shirts
Let’s See the Minnesota Twins
I saw these on sale at the Minneapolis airport. It’s maybe not obvious from the photo but they’re women’s cut V-neck T-shirts. Feel free to supply your own punch line because I’m not saying anything. Read more →
Ending Gun Violence With T-Shirts
“I was gonna shoot up a school but then I saw Steve Kerr wearing a T-shirt and changed my mind.” Well, if that doesn't end gun violence I don't know what will. Jesus fuck, if you've got a serious proposal then make it, but T-shirts?! What a fucking clown show. https://t.co/QLE26J6nEB — Paul Epps (@paulepps) June 6, 2022 Read more →
Let’s Go Brandon
I have a shirt that looks similar to the one in the photo. The shirt is a conversation starter and the conversation often goes like this: “I don’t like your shirt.” “Mmmm, I don’t really like yours either.” “Ha ha, you know what I mean.” “I think I do and I have to say that it concerns me like a whole lot of nothing at all.” Read more →
You Are Very Fake News
Click to order! Update 5 Aug 2018: Newseum has decided to stop selling these shirts and apologized for selling them in the first place. 🙁 Fortunately I ordered mine yesterday. 🙂 Read more →
Which Shirt Would You Be Afraid to Wear?
Putting your own politics aside, let’s say you have two T-shirts: one with a pro-Trump slogan like “Make America Great Again” and one with an anti-Trump slogan like “Not My President.” Which one would you be more afraid to wear in public? Or to put it another way: which shirt do you think would be more likely to draw the ire of violent sociopaths? Read more →
Vatican Splendors at the Reagan Library
[youtube https://youtu.be/4x4PYfNd4KY] They had a funny rule in the Vatican exhibit: photos were okay but no selfies. I could stand in front of an artifact and have someone take a picture of me, but I could not take a picture of myself. I asked one of the docents about the reason for that. “Does it detract from the holiness of the enterprise or what?” “No, people taking selfies tend to lose track of their surroundings and start banging into the art.” I bought a souvenir T-shirt for $32 in the gift shop. They made me sign the credit card slip, even though a lot of places trust me for amounts under $50. “Trust but verify” as President Reagan himself used to say. Read more →
It’s Not Nice to Make Fun of People’s Clothes
I picked up a red striped T-shirt on sale at Old Navy. My son saw it and it seemed to me that he chuckled a little bit. “What’s funny?” I asked. “Where’s Waldo?” he said. Read more →
Bored to Death
The shirt wouldn’t look good on me but I know the feeling . . . Read more →
It’s Not All Bad for USC Athletics
Okay, not a great season for USC football but on the bright side, the men’s water polo team won back-to-back national championships with a 7-6 win over UCLA in today’s title match. T-shirts are available! Read more →
A San Jose State Fan
There were some San Jose State fans at the game . . . as we were walking in, we saw a guy wearing a blue and gold T-shirt that said “The Only Trojan I Need Is On My D*ck” (The asterisk was actually on the shirt. Wouldn’t want to offend anyone.) “Enjoy the game,” I said to him. Final score: USC 56, SJS 3. Read more →
A T-Shirt with a Gorilla on It
I took my boy to Souplantation for dinner after his hockey game. An Indian kid in the line across from us was wearing a t-shirt with a gorilla on it. “That Indian guy has a cool shirt,” my son said. “I’d rock that.” “I’d sport that,” he said. “I’d don that,” he said. “I’d . . .” “I get it. Now shut up so I can focus on my salad.” Read more →