No guns though because this guy is a low-testosterone pussy who wouldn't know how to hunt, kill and eat something if his life depended on it. What a useless creature. Total waste of oxygen. https://t.co/2gOPTNhSMw — Paul Epps (@paulepps) October 1, 2022 Read more →
EppsNet Archive: Twitter
Thomas Jefferson: MAGA Republicans
My fellow Americans – I have to confess I have not figured out the difference between a “MAGA Republican” and a plain old Republican. A “Make America Great Again” Republican. It doesn’t sound so bad. And with that still unresolved, we are now confronted with “extreme MAGA Republicans,” who apparently want to make America extremely great again. .@RepJeffries on midterms: "Extreme MAGA Republicans apparently do not believe in democracy anymore. […] We'll have an opportunity to make our case to the American people […] and the consequences of what might happen if extreme MAGA Republicans are allowed to seize power." pic.twitter.com/T4LAMCxuyx — The Hill (@thehill) September 29, 2022 Midterm elections are not far away and if I were a Democrat, I wouldn’t be looking forward to them with great optimism. Every Democratic policy has failed. They are under water with the economy, we are in a recession based on the… Read more →
U.S. Gun Deaths Per Capita
This hurts the US in the gun deaths per capita stats, the fact that mass murders in other countries are often carried out with bombs https://t.co/HcHykXTOk7 — Paul Epps (@paulepps) September 30, 2022 Read more →
PETA Advocates Sex Strike
Don't women also enjoy sex? I suppose some women like animals more than sex but those are not the women you're going to have a good time with anyway. https://t.co/dIPHFmivBs — Paul Epps (@paulepps) September 28, 2022 I mean, if a woman doesn’t want to put meat in her body . . . well, you see where I’m going with this . . . Also, I would expect the number of meat-eating women to be roughly equal to the number of meat-eating men. How are meat-eating women going to be punished? Read more →
School Choice in Arizona
I think the only cases you can make for "systemic racism" are public schools and teacher unions so this is great, great news. https://t.co/WmMuv6dYdy — Paul Epps (@paulepps) September 28, 2022 Read more →
Evil is Burning
Iran has yearned for this glorious dance for over 40 years.Evil is burning — Woman is rising pic.twitter.com/CjGFNESH91 — Mariam Memarsadeghi (@memarsadeghi) September 20, 2022 Read more →
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Virtue Signalers
How many people showed up for Obama's birthday bash? Was a humanitarian crisis declared? https://t.co/xwjVttaxCY — Paul Epps (@paulepps) September 16, 2022 We openly welcome all refugees and undocumented immigrants to our country, but we don’t want them in our literal back yard. That’s asinine! Some people will say anything to fit in with the groups they want to fit in with and/or to signal that they are more caring and compassionate than the average person. Like the people with Ukrainian flags in their social media profiles. It costs nothing. I support Ukraine! I’m not going to go to Ukraine and pick up a rifle and neither is anyone in my family. I’m not going to host Ukrainian refugees. But by posting this flag I signal that I and people like me are better people than you are. What percentage of people with Ukrainian flags in their social media profiles… Read more →
The Final Slur
Reports indicate that Her Majesty has bestowed a great honor upon Meghan Markle by requesting her to be the recipient of the “Final Slur:” a traditional rite whereby the British Monarch utters their final racist remark before death. Markle will be the first non-Irish beneficiary. https://t.co/Z9PmuG7X1M — American Gaeltep (@Carlists4Pete) September 8, 2022 Read more →
See You in Hell: Marla Maples Edition
[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings mortals — I saw recently that Marla Maples, of all people, was trending on Twitter. It turns out the reason for that is that Donald Trump’s first wife, Ivana, died, Trump said some kind words about her, and then a bunch of people with nothing better to do jumped on Twitter to remind everyone that Trump was romancing Maples while still married to Ivana. It takes a lot to shock me but a person being unfaithful to their spouse?! You could have knocked me over with a feather! I assure you that every one of these people posting about Marla Maples either a) has been unfaithful themselves, but since they’re a bunch of nobodies, it’s not headline news; or b) can’t get laid. See you in Hell . . . Read more →
“People Who Menstruate …”
“Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it.” – George Orwell https://t.co/uPOyP7aHDQ — Paul Epps (@paulepps) June 14, 2022 Read more →
Focusing on the Stuff That’s Important
This should drive down inflation and cause the market to rebound. https://t.co/c2XR6hM5p6 — Paul Epps (@paulepps) June 13, 2022 Read more →
Paul Pelosi DUI Charges Dropped
White privilege! Although unlike Ted Kennedy, Paul Pelosi didn't actually kill anyone in his DUI accident. Democrats are getting better at drunk driving. https://t.co/VdCaOAsagD — Paul Epps (@paulepps) June 8, 2022 Read more →
Ending Gun Violence With T-Shirts
“I was gonna shoot up a school but then I saw Steve Kerr wearing a T-shirt and changed my mind.” Well, if that doesn't end gun violence I don't know what will. Jesus fuck, if you've got a serious proposal then make it, but T-shirts?! What a fucking clown show. https://t.co/QLE26J6nEB — Paul Epps (@paulepps) June 6, 2022 Read more →
Why Can’t Children Transition to Dogs?
This actually brings up a good question. Why do children only identify as humans of the opposite sex, instead of dinosaurs or golden retrievers? What sort of medical intervention would be appropriate in such cases?https://t.co/mEaZvhQjEI — Paul Epps (@paulepps) May 24, 2022 I’ve seen children stomping around, roaring like dinosaurs. Maybe they are dinosaurs in a human body. And children running around and rolling around and playing with dogs. See it all the time. Maybe they are dogs in a human body. Maybe I myself am a dog in a human body. I envy the life of a dog. I love dogs as much as I love people, maybe more. Why can’t humans transition to dogs? Transitioning to nothing but the opposite sex really lacks imagination . . . nothing but a little cosmetic surgery and a wardrobe change. Read more →
No Communion for You, Pelosi
Long overdue. How can a practicing Catholic have more reverence for abortion than for the precepts of the Church? (FTR, I'm not anti-abortion or Catholic.) https://t.co/jXAVB341ru — Paul Epps (@paulepps) May 20, 2022 Read more →
Electric Car Maker to Vote Republican?
I have to agree with the characterization . . . there are a lot of Democrats who’d rather see you dead if you’re not as loving as they are. In the past I voted Democrat, because they were (mostly) the kindness party. But they have become the party of division & hate, so I can no longer support them and will vote Republican. Now, watch their dirty tricks campaign against me unfold … ? — Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 18, 2022 Read more →
Who is to Blame for Buffalo?
From Kevin D. Williamson: Before the blood was even dry in Buffalo, Democrats were asking the most important question: “How can we well-heeled white progressives most effectively use the murders of all these black people to our personal and political advantage?” The murderer in Buffalo didn’t kill anybody you’ve ever heard of, and so the first thing to do if you want to exploit the deaths of all these people — and that is what Democrats intend to do — is to connect the crime to some famous name or prominent institution. It doesn’t matter if there isn’t any actual connection: Just assert it, and that’s good enough for the newspapers and the cable-news cretins and the impotent rage-monkeys on Twitter. The usual suspects: social-media platforms, Tucker Carlson, Donald Trump, the Republican Party, Fox News, the National Rifle Association, etc. The shooter was actually well known in advance as a… Read more →
Like His Voters
Audit finds half of Joe Biden's Twitter followers are fake https://t.co/HcJjpi1D8W pic.twitter.com/p3dEeOdV6q — New York Post (@nypost) May 17, 2022 Read more →
It’s Time to Ban Things That Are Already Banned
My 4-year-old just FaceTimed to ask what I’m doing to “help the people in Buffalo” and “why did the bad man do this?” Absolutely gutting. This cannot be his normal. It’s time to BAN ASSAULT WEAPONS. #EndGunViolence — Rep. Eric Swalwell (@RepSwalwell) May 16, 2022 “Assault weapons” are already banned in New York. New York has every gun law you could possibly want, including a “red flag” law. Do you have a more serious suggestion than “It’s time to ban things that are already banned”? BTW, the replies to this dubious tweet are hilarious. A couple examples: In the middle of enjoying her after-dinner all-natural watermelon fruit bar popsicle, my 5-year-old leaned back in her chair, looked me dead in the eye and asked, “What will we ever do to escape this inflationary spiral in which this country currently finds itself.” I’m shook AF. — Will Stafford (@WillStaffordLSU) May 17,… Read more →
Governor Newsom on Bodily Autonomy
It's nice of our governor to take a short break from forcing people to wear masks, stay inside, and get vaccinated in order to lecture us about bodily autonomy. https://t.co/j3VDr7aacf — Paul Epps (@paulepps) May 15, 2022 Read more →