He prayed in his silence: O God, make me human, let me feel temptation. Save me from my indifference. — Graham Greene, Monsignor Quixote
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Leadership Lessons of the Ottoman Turks
“Flexibility,” “Adaptability,” “Gets along well with others.” I don’t believe they’re what’s needed today if we’re going to force our institutions to adapt to us–which is our central problem. The Ottoman Turks for over three centuries produced an unbroken succession of able leaders. Their performance appraisal sheet would have looked like this: Adaptability 0 Adventuresomeness 100 Cruelty 100 Energy 100 Flexibility 0 Intelligence 100 Justice 100 Gets along well with others 0 — Robert Townsend, Further Up the Organization Read more →
We Aren’t in Business as Shopkeepers
[The Mayor, a Communist, has asked what penance Father Quixote would give him for fornication. Ellipses are in the original.] “You know–of course you don’t know–I don’t like the taste of tomatoes at all. But suppose Father Heribert Jone had written that it was a mortal sin to eat tomatoes and the old lady who lives next door to me came to me in the church to confess she had eaten a tomato. What penance would I give her? As I don’t eat tomatoes myself I wouldn’t even be able to imagine how deep her depravity might be. Of course a rule would have been broken . . . a rule . . . one can’t avoid knowing that.” “You are avoiding my question, father, what penance . . . ?” “Perhaps one Our Father and one Hail Mary.” “Only one?” “One said properly must surely be the equal of… Read more →
My Boy Turns 18 Today
He had a bunch of friends over last night playing poker. After midnight — actually closer to 1 a.m. — he informed me that he was making his first decision as an adult. “We’re going out for burritos,” he said. Read more →
Hockey Parents I Have Known
My kid has played hockey most of his life. I’ve spent a lot of time over the last 12 or so years at practices, games and tournaments with other hockey parents. I’ll miss the parents who watch and wait without calling attention to themselves, don’t over-celebrate, and encourage their kids while pretending not to be nervous or sad. I won’t miss the obsessive, out-of-control loudmouths, or the parents who were too drunk to be nervous or sad. Read more →
Just Like the Pros
The boy comes home from somewhere this afternoon . . . “Where have you been?” I ask him. “Playing basketball,” he says, as he heads into the kitchen for a beverage. “I’ve been trying to call you. Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” “Does Kobe pick up his phone during a game? Neither do I.” Read more →
. . . you must go on, I can’t go on, I’ll go on. — Samuel Beckett, The Unnamable
Belief and Vodka Both Wear Off
“I want to believe. And I want others to believe.” “Why?” “I want them to be happy.” “Let them drink a little vodka then. That’s better than a make-believe.” “The vodka wears off. It’s wearing off even now.” “So does belief.” — Graham Greene, Monsignor Quixote Read more →
Sit down and be quiet. You are drunk and this is the edge of the roof. — Rumi
Aside
Daily Affirmation: If you’re reading this, then nothing you’ve encountered so far has killed you.
A Message for My Followers
Do not let swallows nest in your roof, and under no circumstances are you to eat your own dog. Read more →
NARCh 2011 – Day 4
Semifinal: Devil Dogs vs. Tour Stealth Both teams played a strong game. The Devil Dogs gave up the first goal, evened it up at 1-1, then allowed the go-ahead goal with about four minutes left. They had some chances to tie it back up but couldn’t make it happen. Stealth added an empty-net goal with two seconds left. Final Score: Stealth 3, Devil Dogs 1 Semifinal: Choice Inline Selects vs. Top Gun I didn’t see this game because I was watching the Devil Dog semi so I can’t tell you anything about it other than the final score. Final Score: Selects 4, Top Gun 2 Bronze Medal Game: Devil Dogs vs. Top Gun Three of the four teams in the semifinals win a medal — gold, silver or bronze. One team — the loser of the bronze medal game — doesn’t. Coming into this game, I was trying to… Read more →
Amy Winehouse, 1983-2011
Amy Winehouse found dead aged 27 in London home — The Observer I know what they say about death and taxes but I don’t want to be “found dead.” It sounds dismal. For musicians, 27 seems to be a good age to die. Read more →
NARCh 2011 – Day 3
Devil Dogs vs. Tour Roadrunners 93 (NY) The Devil Dogs came into the fourth and final round-robin game with two wins and a loss, needing at least a tie to clinch a playoff spot. The game didn’t start off well for the Dogs. They trailed 3-1 after the first period, their goalie had let in a bad goal on a long slapshot, and they’d missed on some good scoring opportunities. They were also coming off a disappointing loss the night before, so I was proud of their mental toughness in coming back to tie the game 3-3 with about three minutes left. A Roadrunner player took an untimely penalty with 1:37 left in the game. The Dogs were able to control the puck on the power play until, with 11 seconds remaining, they scored on a one-timer off a cross-rink pass for the game-winning goal. Final Score: Devil Dogs 4,… Read more →
NARCh 2011 – Day 2
Two more round-robin games today, morning and evening . . . Devil Dogs 6, Detroit Mission Stars 2 Devil Dogs played a great game, best I’ve seen them play this season. ISCA Grizzlies (NJ) 5, Devil Dogs 3 The Grizzlies are a good, fast team. That said, the Devil Dogs played a subpar game. Tomorrow is a critical day. Final round-robin games in the morning, after which the top teams start the single-elimination playoff rounds. By the end of the day, only four teams will be left standing. If the Devil Dogs win their last round-robin game, they’ll be in the playoffs at 3-1. If they lose, they’ll be 2-2 and could still get a low playoff seed, but it will be a close call . . . Read more →
NARCh 2011 – Day 1
Devil Dogs 5, MKS (Colombia) 1 The Devil Dogs played their first round-robin game today. Latin American roller hockey teams typically have a) raucous supporters, b) kids who look suspiciously old for their age, and c) an up-tempo style of play like they’re jacked up on coke, which they probably are. The first time you see this, you say to yourself, or to someone sitting next to you, “There’s no way they can play at that speed the whole game. They’ll wear themselves out.” But sure enough, they do play that speed the whole game. Having said that, the MKS kids all looked age-appropriate, and while they had some fast players, they didn’t maintain the non-stop, end-to-end pace that I expected. Read more →
NARCh 2011 – Travel Day
LA to Houston We’re waiting at LAX for a flight to Houston when a large black man in his 20s sits down near us in the waiting area. “I could take that guy one-on-one,” my kid announces. I’m about to mention to him that not every big black dude is necessarily a basketball player when he says, “Wait a minute, isn’t that Mario Williams?” I have to admit to him that I wouldn’t recognize Mario Williams if I saw him. He pulls up a photo of Mario Williams on his iPhone. “Yeah,” I say, “that does look like him.” “And he’s waiting for a flight to Houston? That’s got to be Mario Williams.” The final clue is that the guy is decked out in Adidas gear from head to toe. A Google search for “mario williams adidas” on the iPhone reveals that Mario Williams has a sponsorship deal with Adidas.… Read more →
“Now . . . This”
“Now . . . this” is commonly used on radio and television newscasts to indicate that what one has just heard or seen has no relevance to what one is about to hear or see, or possibly to anything one is likely to hear or see. . . . There is no murder so brutal, no earthquake so devastating, no political blunder so costly–for that matter, no ball score so tantalizing or weather report so threatening–that it cannot be erased from our minds by a newscaster saying “Now . . . this.” The newscaster means that you have thought long enough on the previous matter (approximately forty-five seconds), that you must not be morbidly preoccupied with it (let us say, for ninety seconds), and that you must now give your attention to another fragment of news or a commercial. — Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death Read more →
Huxley Was Right
In Huxley’s vision, no Big Brother is required to deprive people of their autonomy, maturity and history. As he saw it, people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think. What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. . . . Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance. — Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death Read more →
This Goes to Show You the Importance of a Good Night’s Sleep
“MMMMFFF! AAUUGGHHHH!” “What’s the matter?” “I’m so sleepy, I put face cream on my toothbrush!” “Did you also rub toothpaste on your face?” “Not yet.” Read more →