Author Archive: Paul Epps

The Elevated Scrub

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For most of the season, my boy’s been one of the kids who only plays in the last few minutes of blowouts. He’d like to play more but he’s never been on a basketball team before. To me, the fact that he tried out at all is a win, making the team is icing on the cake, and whatever happens after that is up to him and the coach. He told me he’s had some of his best practices lately, and in last night’s game, he got in for a few minutes in the third quarter and then played the whole fourth quarter. “I’ve elevated myself from scrub to super scrub,” he said. Read more →

Warming Up is Horseshit

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Warming up is the biggest bunch of horseshit I’ve ever heard in my life. Fifteen minutes to warm up! Does a lion warm up when he’s hungry? ‘Uh-oh, here comes an antelope. Better warm up.’ No! He just goes out and eats the sucker. — Jack LaLanne Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-26

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RT @yoyoha: Every woman has a tiny ball of hatred in her heart that is fed by the actions of everyone around them. # RT @capricecrane: Is there a “Your Kid Looks The Same As Yesterday” button on Facebook? # RT @yoyoha: I’m currently eating graham crackers in the shape of little bunnies. This can’t be helping my street cred. # Read more →

Trying Out for Basketball

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My boy tried out for varsity basketball at Northwood this year. He likes basketball, but he’s never played on a team before. He plays roller hockey at a pretty high level, and if you break it down to fundamentals, basketball and hockey are pretty similar: you score goals at one end, defend the goal at the other end, and play together as a team. He practiced a lot and worked out a lot and he made the squad. I’m proud of him for trying out. When I was a high schooler, I could easily talk myself out of trying anything where I had a good chance of embarrassing myself in front of my peers. Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-23

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RT @celebinrmonolog: 10-YEAR-OLD WILLOW SMITH: Yo, I've paid my dues! Now gimme my deserved stardom, bitches! # RT @theharryshearer: The voice of empire: “Get used to it, world. We’re not going to put up with nonsense.” Duane (Dewey) Clarridge. # Read more →

Count No Man Happy

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People of Thebes, my countrymen, look on Oedipus. He solved the famous riddle with his brilliance, He rose to power, a man beyond all power. Who could behold his greatness without envy? Now what a black sea of terror has overwhelmed him. Now as we keep our watch and wait the final day, Count no man happy till he dies, free of pain at last. — Sophocles, Oedipus the King Read more →

Twitter: 2011-01-22

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RT @capricecrane: To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world. And to everyone else, you're just some asshole. # Pet peeve: People who pronounce -th as -f, as in "toof" or "boof" # Read more →

Ask for Help

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This is the first, and most important, lesson of teams: ask for help. So we live by this lesson. If they don’t ask us for help, they never learn who we are and what we have to give. It can be frustrating for us, and hard for them, but not as frustrating and hard for both as us wasting ourselves upon people who do not want what we urge upon them. — Jim McCarthy Read more →

Gerry Rafferty, 1947-2011

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Just one more year and then you’ll be happy . . . If that doesn’t sum up what life is all about, I don’t know what does. Just one more year till I lose some weight, gain some weight, get married, get divorced, get out of school, go back to school, get pregnant, get the kids out of the house, get a job, quit my job, etc., etc., etc. Then I’m really going to start living! R.I.P. Gerry Rafferty. Read more →

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