Our hotel room in Canada had a king-size bed, which I slept on, and a pull-out sofa that my son slept on. The first night we were there, I picked out my side of the bed and went to sleep. It wasn’t until the second night that it occurred to me: Hey I could sleep right in the middle of this bed if I want to! There’s nobody else in it! “I still slept on my side of the bed when you were gone,” my wife said later. Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Another Thing I Learned in Canada
Our hotel room had a fridge, so we went to the market to stock up on a few drinks and snacks. We weren’t planning to buy a lot of stuff so instead of a cart we just put the items in a hand basket. At the checkout line, the girl asked me, “Do you want bags for this?” Am I missing something? “How else are we going to get it to the car?” I asked. “I’m going to charge you for them,” she said, “so I have to ask you if you want them.” Plastic grocery bags in Canada will set you back five cents apiece . . . Read more →
Twitter: 2009-07-15
Flamboyantly gay flight attendant on our Buffalo-to-Newark flight. In-flight entertainment: Bruno. No they didn't show a movie. # Read more →
Show Me the Canadian Money
I handed the girl at the McDonalds drive-thru a Canadian 5-dollar bill and asked her, “Who is that guy?” “I don’t know,” she said. “I only came here three years ago and I’m not really into money.” When we got back to the hotel, I asked the guy at the front desk the same question. He had no idea. I was dumbfounded to discover that Canadians don’t know the people on their money! By googling “canadian 5-dollar bill,” I learned that the gentleman is Sir Wilfrid Laurier, the seventh Prime Minister of Canada. The prime minister is like the president in the United States, isn’t he? Wouldn’t this be like an American not recognizing Abraham Lincoln? Read more →
Twitter: 2009-07-14
On runway in Buffalo. Delayed by wind. Will miss connection to LA. # Read more →
A Long Story About a Chair
Our hotel room has a bedroom, where I sleep, and a living area with a pull-out sofa where my son sleeps. Between the rooms is a door that I close at night when I go to bed. I got up this morning, opened the door and almost fell over a desk chair that shouldn’t have been there. “Why’s this chair set up here like a barricade?” I asked my son. “It’s a long story,” he said. “Really? What’s the story?” “We were talking in the lobby last night and Ian got in trouble with his dad for being out of the room so late. Chris couldn’t sleep in his room because his mom and dad had some guests come by so he was going to sleep in Ian’s room but then he didn’t want to because Ian was in trouble so he came in here. He was going to sleep… Read more →
NARCh – Day 4
The Devil Dogs would have liked to be playing today but weren’t after last night’s 2-1 quarterfinal defeat to the Cougars. In the semifinals, the #5 seed Cougars got smoked 6-1 by the #2 seed Detroit Mission Stars 92, while the #1 seed Adrenaline, another Michigan team, beat the #6 seed ISCA Grizzlies from New Jersey 10-4. In the final, the Stars beat Adrenaline 5-2 to win the gold medal. As the highest-seeded semifinal loser, the Cougars earned the bronze medal. Everyone who’s played a sport for a while has been on the wrong end of last-minute losses. If you can’t take the occasional tough loss, you always have the option of not playing the sport. But I have to admit that the coaching decisions at the end of last night’s game are going to haunt me for a while. Putting the wrong team on the rink in the… Read more →
NARCh – Day 3
Quarterfinals: The Devil Dogs led 1-0 most of the game, but gave up two goals in the last minute to lose 2-1. They’re out of the tournament. My son was crying after the game when he came out of the locker room — not weeping, but he had tears in his eyes. Don’t tell him I told you. He never cries after games. I was this close to crying myself when I saw him. I’m now going to violate my policy of never questioning coaches’ decisions. Hockey’s a team game, but if I’m going to lose a game in the last minute, I’m going to lose it with my strongest players on the rink. I was looking out there with a minute left and a 1-0 lead and I couldn’t see how having the two biggest, fastest kids on the bench gave the team the best chance to win that… Read more →
Seedings
Seedings are up for single-elimination. Devil Dogs seeded #4 and will play the #5 seed New Jersey Cougars tonight. Cougars were undefeated in round-robin — two wins and two ties. The ties were strange: they tied the #2 seed Detroit Mission Stars 92, but they also tied a not-so-good California team that got knocked out in round-robin . . . Read more →
Postgame
“What did the coach say to you guys after the game?” I ask my son. Long pause. “I can’t remember,” he says. “But I absorbed it.” Read more →
NARCh – Day 2
The Devil Dogs beat the Revision RBK Buffalo Wings Black 4-0 in the morning game. That clinched them a spot in the single-elimination round, which starts tomorrow. In the night game, they lost to the Detroit Mission Stars 92, 4-2. The Stars were also undefeated coming in, and by winning the game, will get a better seed than the Devil Dogs in single-elimination. A little background on age divisions in roller hockey: The Devil Dogs play in the Bantam division. You could think of it as a 16-and-under division but in roller hockey, the season runs almost year-round and the divisions are actually based on birth year. This year’s Bantam division, for example, includes kids born in 1992 or later. Most Bantam players are 92s (born in 1992) or 93s (born in 1993) because 94s and younger can play a division lower in the PeeWee division. When a team… Read more →
Twitter: 2009-07-10
The hotel we're staying at just opened. About to get a baptism of fire hosting a full house of junior hockey players… # Read more →
A Cool Thing I Learned About Canada
There’s a picture of kids playing hockey on the back of the 5-dollar bill: Read more →
NARCh – Day 1
The Devil Dogs played their first two round-robin games today. In the afternoon game, they beat the Motor City Moose from Detroit, 5-3. Devil Dogs scored the first three goals, but the Moose came back to 4-3 down before the Dogs scored a late goal for the final margin. After the game, we came back to the hotel, barbequed some burgers and hot dogs, then drove back to the arena for a 9 p.m. game against the Mission Mayhem, a local team from here in Ontario. Devil Dogs won, 3-2. My son had a nice goal. A teammate tried to saucer a pass to him as he skated to the front of the net, but the pass stayed airborne all the way. He took a short baseball swing at it and batted it in out of the air. When an NHL player does that, it’s a definite SportsCenter Top 10,… Read more →
Team Bonding and an Amazing Coincidence
Yesterday’s team bonding activities included miniature golf, pizza and a midnight screening of Brüno, all within walking distance of the hotel. After the movie, the kids walked to McDonalds. It was closed. The drive-thru was still open, but they didn’t have a car. Just then — in an amazing cross-continental coincidence — Eddie, the manager of our local rink in Irvine, pulled into the drive-thru, and the kids got him to buy them all ice cream cones . . . Read more →
Twitter: 2009-07-09
Niagara Falls is INSANE! # RT @paulandstorm: [P] "Listen to them. Children of the night. Christ, what a racket." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @paulandstorm: [P] "First rule of Fight Club is — dues must be paid by the first of every month." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @paulandstorm: [P] "I'm mad as hell, and I'm telling you, that's pretty damn mad. Mad, mad, mad! Hoo-boy, am I mad!" #1stdraftmovielines # RT @paulandstorm: [P] "He's Spartacus!" #1stdraftmovielines # RT @paulandstorm: "I'm sorry; did you say 'badgers' or 'badges?' Actually, we don't have either, so the point is moot." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @ChipChantry: "Guys, guys, time out… this boat is WAY TOO SMALL." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @ChipChantry: "If you build it, your wife will get angry with you." #1stdraftmovielines # RT @diablocody: "Make sure I get paid adequately." #1stdraftmovielines # Why isn't there a law against guys with sleep apnea taking redeye flights? # Just… Read more →
A Partly Eaten Cobb Salad from IHOP
As I get home from work, my wife greets me with what looks like a leftover, partly eaten Cobb salad . . . “We went to IHOP,” she says, “and we got this for you.” “Oh, thanks,” I say. “Thanks for thinking of me.” Later in the evening I catch up with my son and ask him what he had to eat at IHOP. “I had a steak omelet and pancakes,” he says. “That sounds really good. I wanted to thank you for treating me to the half-eaten Cobb salad.” “Mom said you’d like that,” he says. “And that was pretty much a whole Cobb salad.” “It looked partly eaten to me.” “The bacon was partly eaten.” “That’s the best part of the salad.” Read more →
Twitter: 2009-07-08
RT @sportsguy33: "I'd like a non-fat decaf latte" is a fancy way of announcing, "I suck, don't ask me out." # Got a free smoothie for filling up my stamp card! All my hard work is finally coming to fruition! # Read more →
Feeling the Pinch
Toronto in July
We’re off to Toronto for a week for NARCh. I wonder what the weather’s like in Toronto in July. At least there won’t be thunderstorms every day like the NARCh tournaments we went to in Florida. Let me check the forecast . . . Read more →