“Forty percent of the people at my school speak Korean,” my son says. “Or Chinese. I can’t tell the difference.” Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Situational Avoidance
My son’s got a hockey game tonight. His mom is going to bring him to the game; I’m going to bring the hockey gear and meet them there. There’s a risk when we do it that way that the boy gets there and isn’t able to play because I don’t show up with his equipment, but that’s never actually happened. In fact, I’m almost always there first. In spite of that fact, he says to me this morning, “Get there early tonight so we don’t have a situation like last week.” I say, “We didn’t have a ‘situation’ last week. I got there exactly the same time you did.” “Just get there early,” he says. Read more →
Quotes & Lessons from “Comedian”
Quotes & Lessons from "Comedian" from garr Read more →
Check Your Facts
It’s 7 p.m. and my son’s ready to make a deal . . . “If I study for an hour,” he says, “can I go play basketball at 8?” His mom is skeptical. “You just played Xbox for five hours,” she says. He shakes his head vehemently. “Four-and-a-half hours,” he says. Read more →
Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc
I Wonder
The dizziest woman in the office just used the word “congruence” in a sentence — correctly. Have I underestimated her? Read more →
Stand By Me
http://playingforchange.com – From the award-winning documentary, “Playing For Change: Peace Through Music”, comes the first of many “songs around the world” being released independently. Featured is a cover of the Ben E. King classic by musicians around the world adding their part to the song as it travelled the globe. This video and “Don’t Worry” are available at iTunes while other songs such as “One Love” will be released as digital downloads soon; followed by the film soundtrack and DVD in stores on 4.21.09. Sign up at www.playingforchange.com for updates and exclusive content. Join the Movement to help build schools, connect students, and inspire communities in need through music. Read more →
Could Not Be More Serious
The situation could not be more serious. It is inexcusable and irresponsible for any of us to get bogged down in distraction, delay or politics as usual while millions of Americans are being put out of work. — Barack Obama LOOK, IT’S BRAD PITT! OMG!!! — Nancy Pelosi Read more →
Teaching Coding to Kids
VSLP Overview View more presentations from llangit. (tags: studio visual) Read more →
Don’t Go Hiking in a Sewer
In the Mirror
There’s a stranger in the house no one will ever see But everybody says he looks like me. — Elvis Costello, “Stranger in the House” Who is that sad little gray-haired man standing next to my tall, handsome boy? Read more →
That Eastern Conference is Pathetic
To give you an idea of how pathetic the NBA’s Eastern Conference is this season, The Cavs and the Celtics have both clinched playoff spots! I know what you’re thinking: Wasn’t the All-Star Game just last weekend? Cleveland still has 22 games left to play. They could lose all of them — a 22-game losing streak — and still make the playoffs . . . Read more →
Horton Foote, 1916-2009
My first memory was of stories about the past — a past that, according to the storytellers, was superior in every way to the life then being lived. It didn’t take me long, however, to understand that the present was all we had, for the past was gone and nothing could be done about it. — Horton Foote Read more →
Stimulus Bill is Creating Jobs
A friend works at a wind energy company. I asked him if he was getting his share of the money from our new planned economy. His response: “We are stimulated! There is some good stuff in there for renewable. We may need to open a DC office just to chase the $$.” As long as we think that we can grow GDP by having an ever-larger proportion of our best citizens working as full-time lobbyists, it would seem that the stimulus bill is working as advertised. — Philip Greenspun Read more →
Obama the Entertainer
The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped by 300 points to end below the 6800 mark for the first time in nearly 12 years, as a broad-based selloff seized the markets, sending shares lower in every sector. The S&P 500 briefly dropped below 700 for the first time since October 1996 before ending just at that level amid across-the-board declines, including drops of more than 6% in basic materials, energy, financial and industrial sectors. The Nasdaq Composite Index fell 4%. — WSJ.com, March 2, 2009 CONGA! Read more →
Outside the Lines
It’s the last high school roller hockey game of the regular season. One of the kids’ dads shows up for the first time and asks questions like, “Do they win most of their games?” Do they win most of their games?! Are you kidding?! You should know that. Even if you don’t come to the games, you could ask your kid when he gets home. Another dad has a great answer. “Come over here,” he says. “I want to introduce you to your son.” Over on the moms’ side of the bleachers, they’re talking about financial matters. One woman is sad because they bought their house at the peak of the market and they’re financially stuck in it for the foreseeable future. Another woman almost cries describing how 14 years of contributions to her husband’s 401k have been totally wiped out. Meanwhile on the rink, Northwood dominates Capo Valley pretty… Read more →
At the Starbucks Drive-Thru
“Welcome to Starbucks. My name is Sam. Would you like to try an apple [something something]?” I couldn’t understand what he said. “A what?” I asked. “An apple chai [something].” “No.” “Are you sure?” “Can you say it one more time? I didn’t get the last part.” “Apple … chai … infusion.” “I’ll have a venti iced latte.” “OK. That’s almost as good.” The poor guy really had his heart set on serving me an apple chai infusion . . . Read more →
James D. Watson Bobblehead, R.I.P.
The last place I worked, I kept my James D. Watson bobblehead on a cubicle divider, next to a SpongeBob bobblehead that belonged to a colleague. Everyone who saw these two guys recognized SpongeBob, but not one person ever recognized James D. Watson. I mean, they knew it was someone named James D. Watson because his name is right there on the base, but despite the fact that he’s holding a double helix structure, nobody recognized him as James D. Watson, Nobel Laureate and co-discoverer of the structure of the DNA molecule. (Ironically, one of the main reasons I got into software development was the opportunity to work with smart, educated people.) I brought Watson with me to the place I work now, but unfortunately I accidentally knocked him off a credenza one morning and his head broke off. I tried a couple of times to glue it back on… Read more →
Be on the Lookout for a Hardened Criminal
Man arrested may be linked to Viagra theft — OCRegister.com Read more →
Frugality or Faux Pas
Idaho’s first lady wore the same dress twice — to the gala at Saint Al’s Festival of Trees in November, and then again Sunday to the White House for a dinner with the nation’s governors, the Obamas’ first formal soiree. Lori Otter bought the dress — a floor-length black Jovani gown — on sale at the local boutique Karen Louise in Downtown Boise, the governor’s office said. The gown retails for about $700, but Otter got it for about $500. — Idaho Statesman This is news? Out here in the real America, not only do we wear the same clothes–even less expensive items like socks and underwear–dozens of times, but a whole industry has arisen providing equipment, detergents and services for washing clothes between uses. — Best of the Web Today Read more →