Author Archive: Paul Epps
Overheard
Access Denied, Dork
It’s interesting how many HTTP 4xx return codes could be used in response to a request for intimate access to a woman: 401 Unauthorized 402 Payment Required 403 Forbidden 405 Method Not Allowed 411 Length Required 413 Request Entity Too Large 417 Expectation Failed Read more →
Romeo the Pug
Huck Finn Uses the N-Word
My son had an assignment this weekend to write an essay on cultural values vs. personal values in Huckleberry Finn. The teacher didn’t assign the whole book, just an excerpt in which Huck has to decide whether or not to send Jim, the escaped slave, back to Miss Watson. So I read through the excerpt and sure enough, it includes multiple uses of what’s now known as “the N-word.” I asked the boy, “Did Mr. Murano discuss with you guys about Mark Twain’s use of the word ‘nigger’?” “No,” he said. “But in case you hadn’t noticed, our school is mostly Asian. Now if Mark Twain had overused the word ‘chink,’ then we’d have a problem.” Read more →
Fun with Charts
I use charts like this one to track open project tickets, color-coded by priority. At a meeting last week, I pointed out that the number of open tickets on this particular project had peaked out at 70 and was now dropping faster than the value of my house, at which one of the attendees laughed more enthusiastically than I thought was necessary. “Why is that funny?” I asked. I mean, it was supposed to be a little funny, but not laugh-out-loud funny. “I’ve been there,” she said. Read more →
Wishing and Hoping: A Metaphor
“Where’d you get the Wish Hope Dream Post-Its?” I ask a co-worker. “Why?” she asks. “Is that your mantra?” “No, I was thinking more along the lines of wishes, hopes and dreams being peeled away one by one until you’re left with nothing.” “That’s an optimistic way of looking at it.” “It sure is.” Read more →
We Have a New Chair
This chair showed up in my house the other day . . . “It’s the most comfortable chair ever!” my son raves. “How much did it cost?” I ask him. “I dunno. Mom handled the paying part.” The dog seems to like it as well . . . Read more →
No One Listens to Me
My wife is on the warpath this morning . . . “Can you believe this?” she says to no one in particular. “I hate that printer. I’m throwing it away. It ran out of ink again! I’m trying to print something and now I have to go buy more ink!” So I say, “You print a lot of documents. Do you get rid of your car when it runs out of gas?” “Oh I can’t wait to throw away that printer,” she says, storming off . . . Read more →
The Downside of Effective Communication
What I re-learned in Crucial Conversations class is that you can have “better” conversations with people if you’re able to control your initial emotional reactions and apply some learnable communication skills. I say “re-learned” because I got the same takeaway years ago from reading How to Win Friends and Influence People and Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. And while it’s been my experience that these techniques really do work, I haven’t used them as much I could have because they also seem to take a lot of the zest out of being alive. For example: Several years ago, we had an electrical problem at the house, where we weren’t getting power in any of the front rooms. My wife was home when the electrician came out — I was at work — and he fixed the problem in five minutes. When I got home, she was unhappy… Read more →
BYU 59, UCLA 0
OMG the UCLA bandwagon has crashed so hard, they’re still trying to identify the victims. Karl Dorrell must be high-fiving people till his arm hurts. FIGHT ON! Read more →
Another Difference Between Dogs and Cats
Stories
[S]tories hold power because they convey the illusion that life has purpose and direction. . . . Stories make sense when so much around us is senseless, and perhaps what makes them most comforting is that, while life goes on and pain goes on, stories do us the favor of ending. — John Hodgman, Sept. 25, 2001 Remember . . . Read more →
You Don’t Say
One of our exercises in Crucial Conversations training was to “think of a person who is really frustrating to work with,” and to describe in writing a recent interaction with that person in terms of what was actually said, and what you were thinking or feeling but didn’t say. My responses included the following: What I Actually Said This project presents some unique challenges. What I Didn’t Say I have a lot of experience managing IT projects, but not in running a day care center or a mental institution, which is what this project requires. What I Actually Said That’s not quite the way I would have phrased it. What I Didn’t Say Everyone else in these meetings seems to feel constrained by a sense of professionalism and decency that you appear not to possess. One of my colleagues at our table of four claimed that based on those responses,… Read more →
A Paradox
When we give up trying to convince, we become more convincing. — Crucial Conversations So — I should give up trying to convince in an effort to become more convincing? Read more →
Iced Tea and Lemonade
Arnold Palmer may have won a lot of golf tournaments, but his greatest accomplishment in my opinion was to say, “Hey, let’s mix some lemonade in with the iced tea.” Nothing better on a hot day! Thanks, Arnie! Read more →
Chick’s vs. Dick’s
Last year, Dick’s Sporting Goods bought Chick’s Sporting Goods. According to the Orange County Register, the four Chick’s locations in Orange County, including the one in Tustin that I shop at, will all be replaced by Dick’s by the second half of 2009. I’m not happy about this. Oh, I know there are people who like Dick’s, and there are people who are 50-50 on the matter and can go either way, but there are also a lot of people like me who really prefer Chick’s. In fact, I’ve been doing Chick’s for so long that I don’t see how I’m ever going to get used to Dick’s. Read more →
Sarah Palin
As Warner Baxter said to Ruby Keeler in 42nd Street: You’re going out there a youngster, but you’ve got to come back a star! Finally, a breath of fresh Alaskan air! Not yet another Ivy League lawyer, yet another warmed-over political hack, yet another condescending, posturing, preening, pandering, pontificating blowhard who’s lost sight of the fact that politicians are employees. We hire them, we pay them, we give them trillions of dollars to spend any way they want to . . . if we didn’t hold them to such ridiculously low standards of accountability, it might be easier to remember who works for whom. And hockey moms are hot! Why? Because hockey’s an expensive sport, so hockey dads have to knock down a pretty good income, which in our materialistic society allows them to be more selective in the spouse department. My wife is sort of a hockey mom, in… Read more →
What We Choose
I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose. — Margaret Cho Read more →
Little-Known College Football Fact of the Week
Kentucky and Louisville play each other for the Governor’s Cup. Why the governor needs to wear a cup I don’t know, nor can I figure out why anybody else would want it. “Congratulations, boys!” the governor says, reaching into his trousers. “I’ve got a little something for you. And it ain’t fried chicken!” Read more →