I was watching my son’s roller hockey practice last weekend . . . during a scrimmage, he skated the puck up the rink, faked the goalie to the right, then snapped a shot into the top left corner of the net. “Oh my gosh!” I yelled to anyone within earshot. “Just like I taught him!” A few minutes later, he got a pass in front of the net and one-timed it so high and hard that if not for the protective netting around the top of the rink, I don’t know where it would have come down. “I didn’t teach him that,” I said. Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Go Ask Alice
One pill makes you larger . . . A musclehead co-worker is talking to someone on the phone about nutritional supplements: “It changes the metabolism of the . . . en-DOC-rine? . . . EN-do-CREEN? . . . system, so it releases more testosterone.” Yeah, you should definitely take some of that. A product that claims to alter the function of bodily organs you can’t even pronounce. What could possibly go wrong? In fact, you should go to the vitamin store right now and just gobble up everything they’ve got. Did you ever read Alice in Wonderland? She finds a cake that says EAT ME so she eats it. Next thing you know she’s nine feet tall. Draw your own parallels . . . Read more →
Political Analysis from a 9th Grader
“It’s too bad Hillary Rodham Clinton’s name isn’t Hillary Rodman Clinton,” my son says. “Maybe she could rebound from her current situation.” Read more →
Scrum Cheat Sheet
Read this doc on Scribd: Scrum Cheat Sheet Read more →
The Secret of All Secrets
I am letting you into the secret of all secrets, mirrors are gates through which death comes and goes. Moreover if you see your whole life in a mirror you will see death at work as you see bees behind the glass in a hive. — Jean Cocteau, Orphée Read more →
Political Season
How small of all that human hearts endure That part which laws or kings can cause or cure. — Samuel Johnson Read more →
People Who Bear Watching
Anyone with a stock over-amped response to a question about how they’re doing, e.g., “FAN-TASTIC!” or “I’m terrrrrrrr-IF-ic!” Especially if accompanied by a gesture, like an arm-swinging fist pump . . . Read more →
Cool Gadgets You Can’t Get
His mom and I are trying to get the boy to log off the computer and go to bed. “Hang on,” he says, “I’m looking at a PC World thing.” “What is it?” I ask. “’10 Cool Gadgets You Can’t Get in the U.S.’” “If you can’t get them in the U.S., what do you care?” “They’re cool. Don’t forget about that part.” His mom is running out of patience. “Oh, am I steaming,” she says. The boy’s still looking at the computer. “Mmmm . . . cool,” he says. Read more →
EppsNet Book Review: The Elegant Solution
Unreadable . . . unbelievably bad. Ironically, for a book about innovation, the concepts are trite and the prose consists of one lazy cliche after another. Watch — I’m going to open the book to a random page and list the cliches: “secret sauce,” “blow the doors off,” “boil the ocean,” “where the action is,” “ivory tower,” “marching instructions.” The book is an insult to the intelligence of anyone who might conceivably want to read it. Read more →
Embedding YouTube Videos in Valid Web Pages
One thing I learned from this post is that YouTube’s recommended method for embedding videos in web pages will prevent your page from validating: The <embed> element is Netscape’s method of embedding plugins and players in web pages. It’s not part of the XHTML specification. If you care about this kind of thing, you can use the markup below instead. It’s simpler, it validates, and it works (I tested it) in IE, Firefox, Safari and Opera. Read more →
USC Ranked as a ‘Dream College’
In more evidence of the growing popularity of USC’s undergraduate programs, the university recently was ranked in the top 10 “dream colleges” based on a Princeton Review survey of college applicants. — USC News FIGHT ON! Read more →
Out in the Streets – The Shangri-Las
California Enacts a Cell Phone Law
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has signed legislation that prohibits the use of handheld mobile phones while driving in the state. Effective July 1, 2008, the legislation prohibits drivers from using a wireless telephone while operating a motor vehicle unless the driver uses a hands-free device. Drivers who violate the law will face a base fine of $20 for a first offense and $50 for each subsequent offense. I can’t talk on my cell phone while I’m driving? What a dopey law! Can I still eat a chili dog while I’m driving? Can I drink a beverage? Can I try to find my favorite song on the CD player? Can I perform any number of activities that require the use of at least one hand and are at least as distracting as a phone call? Has anyone else noticed that we have too many laws? And that every new one takes… Read more →
It Isn’t a Thing You Do
Agile development isn’t a thing you do, it’s an attitude, it’s a set of personal values about responding to the real world, being open to the information that is there and being willing to do something about it. — Kent Beck Read more →
Cat and Dog Photos on Flickr
Originally uploaded by DevonTT. Originally uploaded by mvidarus. Read more →
That’s What You Think
My son’s on spring break this week. Today he spent the day with a friend volunteering at the local Boys and Girls Club. “I was watching kids for seven-and-a-half hours!” he says. I say, “I’ve been watching a kid for 15 years.” “Yeah, well, I’m a lot easier.” Read more →
My Wife’s Philosophy
You win some, you lose some, but I prefer to win them all. Read more →
A Couple of Tips on Bad Parenting
1. Give your son a fashionable name like Tanner, Braden or Travis. You can handicap a child for life with a goofy name. You can give him a sorry start from which he’ll never recover. By the way, you know what’s a good name? Paul. Paul is a name that’s stood the test of time. It dates back to the Bible . . . Tanner is not even a name. Braden is not a name. Travis is a name, but it’s a hillbilly name, like Zeke. If you’re tempted to name your boy Travis, go ahead and name him Zeke. 2. Use up your moral authority on things of no importance. I was in Subway this afternoon and heard a man telling his kids, “No soda. You’ve had too much soda lately.” It turns out by soda, he meant cola, because he let the kids fill up their drinks with… Read more →
The Agile Elevator Speech
You begin by stating that agile is basically three things: a set of engineering best practices that allow for rapid delivery of high-quality software, a project management process that encourages frequent inspection and adaptation, and a leadership philosophy that encourages team work and accountability. You go on to say that success in today’s economy requires us to respond quickly to changing market conditions. Agile processes allow our teams to meet the changing demands of their customers while creating environments where top developers want to work. — Agile Chronicles: “The Agile Elevator Speech” Read more →
Gathering Requirements
The most common verb associated with requirements is “gather.” Yet most requirements that end up fulfilled in a system aren’t gathered. Yes, I know, there are always a few requirements that are so obvious in a new system that you can “gather” them from stakeholders, but gathering implies that the requirements are already out there, fully formed and fully understood, and ready for harvest. It just doesn’t work that way. No stakeholder ever says to an analyst, “Requirements? Why, yes, I have eleven requirements. Eight are functional, one is a usability requirement, and the other two are operational requirements. Are you collecting constraints now, as well? I have three of those. Please sit down, and I will elucidate perfectly clearly on each and every one in turn.” Most requirements are discovered–or invented. Many are transformed or compromised along the way. Most stakeholders don’t consider the underlying requirements of their work;… Read more →