Author Archive: Paul Epps

Cory Lidle: 1972-2006

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It is impossible to escape the impression that people commonly use false standards of measurement . . . and they underestimate what is of true value in life. — Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents Two men die in a plane crash. One man’s death is widely lamented; the other man is barely mentioned. Why? Because the first man was good at throwing a ball.   It just goes to show how insignificant some of the things that we think are significant really are. — Various sportswriters and ballplayers Really? Well, now that this has been brought home to you, are you going to quit your job as a ballplayer or a person who writes about ballplayers and do something “significant” with your life? I didn’t think so. Read more →

Homework Follies

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“This is racist,” my son says. I look over to see what he’s talking about. He’s sitting on the sofa doing math homework. “What’s racist?” I ask. “The math book?” “Yeah. They have answers in the back for problem 9 and problem 13, but not problem 11. Because I’m a Mexican.” “You’re a Mexican?!” “I’m a mixed kid,” he corrects me. His mom is Asian. “You think the white kids’ book has the answer to number 11?” “Yup. The Asian kids’ book has got all the answers.”   “Dude, check this out. Jackson collected s seashells. Petra and Tyrone collected 13 less than twice s. Now here’s the stupid part: I have to figure out how many seashells each person collected! COME ON! And the racist book doesn’t have the answers!” I say, “Jackson’s pretty lame if a girl collected more than he did.” “He’s pathetic!” Read more →

In Praise of Invective

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Via Alicublog: He writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up to the topmost pinnacle of tosh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash. — H. L. Mencken, on the speeches of Warren G. Harding Read more →

The Dog Clairvoyant

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I can tell what dogs are thinking by reading their facial expressions. This dog, for example, belongs to a friend’s sister. As you can see, they bought a pumpkin costume and put it on the dog. She is thinking, “If I was bigger, I would kill these people.” Read more →

Four Questions to Ask a Hiring Manager

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I’m rereading parts of The Psychology of Computer Programming and I notice that several of Weinberg’s “food for thought” questions at the end of each chapter would be good questions to pose to a hiring manager: How long have you been in charge of your present group? How many of the original people remain? How many people have left and what were the reasons for their departure? What sort of provisions do you make for this kind of turnover? Describe the sequence of work planned for your current project. Is the actual work proceeding according to the original plan? Do you expect it to continue in this manner? How close is your progress reporting scheme to the reality of the work that goes on? What checks do you have to find out if it corresponds to reality? What is your impression of what motivates your staff? Is it the same… Read more →

How Did Peopleware Become a Best-Seller?

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I don’t know how Peopleware became a best-seller. . . . I hardly run into any managers who read about their industry, management theory, or psychology, period. I used to believe that they were overloaded with information regarding the specifics of their job, but frankly, managers still aren’t trained, or do not educate themselves, to do their jobs. — Brian Pioreck Read more →

Mozart for Muslims

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A German opera house announced that it would cancel its staging of Mozart’s “Idomeneo” because Berlin police concluded that staging the opera — which includes a scene in which Jesus, Buddha, Poseidon and Muhammad are beheaded — would pose an “incalculable security risk” from jihadists. Germany, recall, proudly opposed the Iraq war — but still narrowly missed a Spain-style terrorist attack on its rail system this summer. A leading Muslim spokesman in Germany explained that he was all for free speech, as long as it didn’t offend Muslims. The Germans’ all-too-typical appeasement of terrorism no doubt makes them “safer” and “creates” fewer terrorists. And all it cost them — for now — is Mozart. — Jonah Goldberg Read more →

The Poster Boy for Self-Aggrandizement

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Sweet Jesus, I followed a link to another Tom Peters e-paper this afternoon: The “PSF” is Everything (or: Making the Professional Service Firm a “Lovemark” in an Age of “Managed Asset Reflation”) After reading the title alone, I’d already overdosed on the trademark Peters abbreviations, coinages, scare quotes and extraneous punctuation. BUT . . . I have to admit I was curious about Managed Asset Reflation. What is that? Here’s how Peters introduces the term in his Tourette’s-inspired style: Hence the story that I read on 4 March 2004: Thailand’s Prime Minister, a businessman, Thaksin Shinawatra, on the day before had just opened “Bangkok Fashion City.” It’s a monster facility that aims to help make Thailand “cool” … to create Thai … LEADERSHIP IN FASHION! (Fashion = Cool = Value Added.) Economists have a way of sterilizing everything. And they managed to sterilize this one, too. The PM’s new economic… Read more →

Timeouts Considered Harmful

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Mike Shanahan never calls a timeout to ice the kicker because Jason Elam let him in on a little secret among the kicking fraternity: most of them like the extra time to check out the conditions. — “There goes that theory,” L.A. Daily News The article goes on to quote several other kickers who say the timeout gives them a chance to get out on the field, go through their whole routine, fix up the field if they need to, and generally improves their chances of making the kick. Vikings kicker Ryan Longwell says that coaches fear being second-guessed if they don’t try to ice the kicker: “So I think a lot of coaches do that just for that reason, to clear their conscience on using all the timeouts.” This confirms a theory of mine, that a lot of things coaches — in any sport — do during a game… Read more →

Nelson Algren Goes to Hollywood

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From a 1955 interview with Nelson Algren in The Paris Review: INTERVIEWER: How about this movie, The Man with the Golden Arm? ALGREN: Yeah. INTERVIEWER: Did you have anything to do with the script? ALGREN: No. No, I didn’t last long. I went out there for a thousand a week. and I worked Monday, and I got fired Wednesday. The guy that hired me was out of town Tuesday. Read more →

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