The way we are living, timorous or bold, will have been our life. — Seamus Heaney, “Elegy” Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Ugly in Tinseltown
It’s tough being ugly in Tinseltown . . . Even when a movie — like Monster — requires an unattractive woman in the lead role, they cast a gorgeous woman and make her up to look ugly! What is the point of that?! Why not just cast an unattractive woman in the first place — like that Meredith girl from The Bachelorette, for example? Read more →
Pursuit
A phrase began to beat in my ears with a sort of heady excitement: ‘There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired.’ — F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby That we pursue something passionately does not always mean that we really want it or have a special aptitude for it. Often, the thing we pursue most passionately is but a substitute for the one thing we really want and cannot have. It is usually safe to predict that the fulfillment of an excessively cherished desire is not likely to still our nagging anxiety. In every passionate pursuit, the pursuit counts more than the object pursued. — Bruce Lee, Tao of Jeet Kune Do Read more →
When Technology Falls Into the Wrong Hands
Here’s what happens when a 10-year-old gets hold of a digital camera. And there’s lots more self-portraits where that came from, including the ones he took of his own butt, which are his personal favorites. Read more →
Quote of the Day
Wesley Clark on affirmative action: Not everybody’s born on a level playing field. That is undeniable. I, for example, was born in a hospital . . . Read more →
Albert Camus
On this date in 1960, Albert Camus died in a car smash outside Paris at the age of 47. The incomplete manuscript of The First Man, the autobiographical novel that Camus was working on at his death, was found in the mud at the site of the wreck. What a finish! Quel tableau! Read more →
Overheard
One cow to another: They’re not booing. They’re saying ‘Moooo!’ Read more →
Happy New Year!
The rest of the family got up early and went to the Rose Parade. I stayed home and watched it on TV with the dog. This is what the parade looks like to a 10-year-old. Read more →
Why I Hate Stretching at Home
When I do my stretching regimen at the gym, I don’t have a self-appointed, jive-talking personal trainer, age 10: — You call dat a stretch? We got a big problem here. — Is dat da best you can do? — What in da name a Jimmy da Jet kind of a stretch is dat? — Who’s Jimmy the Jet? — I dunno. Who is he? Read more →
My Kid Got a Dawg for Christmas
My kid got a dog for Christmas — a Pug. His name is Lightning. The dog’s, that is, not the kid’s. Pugs take the cake for “cute,” judging by the reaction of every woman or girl who sees one. Oh, he’s so cute! Oh, he’s so precious! Read more →
A Bruce Lee Christmas
I’ve been reading Bruce Lee’s Tao of Jeet Kune Do, in which he says that most athletes are not willing to drive themselves hard enough, and that only through extraordinary effort can one unlock the potential of the human body. Read more →
The Waiting
My dad’s almost 70 now. He’s been a role model to me in terms of aging gracefully, without complaint. “How does it feel to be 45?” he asked me the other day. “Feel like you’re getting old?” “Yes,” I said. “Wait until you get to fifty-five,” he said. Thanks, Dad! Read more →
The Nutcracker
I’d never seen The Nutcracker — or any other ballet for that matter. It turns out that ballet is just mime with better sets and costumes. Read more →
Reverse Performance Anxiety
My son had a very nice piano recital last weekend. He played the right notes, he played the quiet parts quiet and the loud parts loud . . . and yet he had never once, to my knowledge, practiced the piece at home without playing it too loud, too fast, and having a simulated nervous breakdown if anything was said to him about it. I’ve Googled this all day and I can’t figure it out . . . Read more →
My Favorite Xmas Songs
Links go to iTunes samples . . . Read more →
Emily Dickinson
Emily Dickinson was born on this date in 1830. Happy Birthday, Emily! I died for beauty, but was scarce Adjusted in the tomb, When one who died for truth was lain In an adjoining room. He questioned softly why I failed? “For beauty,” I replied. “And I for truth,—the two are one; We brethren are,” he said. And so, as kinsmen met a night, We talked between the rooms, Until the moss had reached our lips, And covered up our names. Let’s party! Read more →
Happy Birthday to Me
You say its your birthday? Its my birthday too, yeah! We’re gonna have a good time! I’m glad it’s your birthday! Happy birthday to you! We gonna party like it’s my birthday! We gonna sip Bacardi like it’s my birthday! I’m 45 today, probably a lot further from birth than death . . . what a hell of a note. More Bacardi, please! Read more →
Huh?
My son just said something to me that sounded like Meesa favo word yall dog homie thats a foul yo in yo face hippie homo bozo ooheehoohaahaah? I’m not going to respond to that . . . Read more →
An Evening at Home
I’m trying to listen to classical music with a 10-year-old who won’t stop pretending he’s an intergalactic space admiral: Chopin . . . great composer . . . he was from Earth, wasn’t he? Read more →
The Sanctity of Marriage
Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman. Today’s decision of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court violates this important principle. — President Bush, on the Massachusetts Supreme Court’s decision that the state’s constitution guarantees same-sex couples a right to marry. Here’s what’s really undermining the sacredness of modern marriage: soap operas, wedding planning, longer work days, cuter secretaries, fights over money, reality TV, low-rise pants, mothers-in-law, boredom, Victoria’s Secret catalogs, going to bed mad, the billable hour, that stubborn 7 pounds, the Wiggles, Internet chat rooms, and selfishness. In fact we should start amending the Constitution to deal with the Wiggles immediately.” — Dahlia Lithwick, “Holy Matrimony” Read more →