Author Archive: Paul Epps
What Are the Rules on Refusing a Religious Funeral?
PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. —- The father of the Orlando gunman said his son was buried at a Florida cemetery this week. Seddique Mateen would not say where his son, Oman Mateen, was buried, but said it was an Islamic burial. — WPBF.com Is a Muslim entitled to an Islamic funeral no matter what kind of atrocity he commits, in particular, an atrocity committed in the name of Islam? What are the rules on this? Would a Catholic, for example, who pledged allegiance to the Pope before shooting 100 people be entitled to a funeral mass in the Church? I remember a couple of years ago in Australia when an Islamic extremist got himself and a couple of hostages killed in a siege, the funeral director with the Lebanese Muslim Association said this: We don’t care about him, we don’t know him, chuck him in the bloody shithouse. Nobody’s going… Read more →
How to Beat UConn Women’s Basketball: Transsexuals
High School Boy Wins All-State Honors In Girls Track And Field — The Daily Caller Girls will be boys and boys will be girls, it’s a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world . . . I’m actually old enough to remember when female athletes were disqualified if they turned out to be male. Self-identification, i.e., if a boy says he’s a girl then he’s a girl, could take women’s sports in a crazy direction, given that males are better than females at any sport I can think of. For example, if a women’s college basketball coach wants to end the UConn dynasty, why not suit up a team of transsexuals, i.e., men who “identify” as women? Other teams would have to follow suit in order to be competitive. The only downside I can think of is that there would soon be few (maybe zero) biological women playing college basketball in America, or… Read more →
I Pledge Allegiance to [Omitted]
House Speaker Paul Ryan called on the Obama administration Monday to “release the full, unredacted transcript” of the Orlando massacre gunman’s 911 calls, slamming the Justice Department’s censoring of all references to Islam as “preposterous.” — Fox News Here’s what Omar Mateen, the Orlando shooter, sounds like in the redacted transcript: I pledge allegiance to [omitted] may God protect him [in Arabic], on behalf of [omitted]. No references to Islam, ISIS or Allah, who becomes “God [in Arabic].” In other news, 911 calls from the Disney World alligator attack are being released after redacting all references to alligators. It’s similar to 2012, when a terror attack (in Benghazi) was whitewashed in the months leading up to a presidential election, the thinking being that vulnerability to terrorism reflects poorly on the incumbent administration. This time they’re is not even bothering to lie about it (the Benghazi attack was supposedly a spontaneous… Read more →
Warriors Better Than Showtime Lakers?
LeBron finally brings a title home to Cleveland — ESPN “We’re better than the Showtime Lakers.” — Klay Thompson, after Game 2. Read more →
Jesus at Gethsemane
For those not familiar with the story: Jesus knows he’s going to die. He prays to God for help in the garden of Gethsemane, at the Mount of Olives. But there is no answer. If it is true that in the sacred Garden of the Scriptures, The Son of Man said what we see reported; Mute, blind and deaf to the cry of all creatures, If Heaven abandons us like an aborted world, The just will oppose disdain to this absence, And will answer from now on with only cold silence The eternal silence of the Divinity. — –Alfred de Vigny, “Le Mont des Oliviers” Read more →
EppsNet Movie Reviews: Finding Dory (and Coming Attractions)
Loved it! Five stars! We saw trailers for some upcoming animated films as well. The BFG and Moana look promising, but the rest — including Ice Age: Collision Course and The Secret Life of Pets — look like non-stop grotesque slapstick. That being said, the audience seemed to find it all pretty funny, so in a “give the people what they want” world, perhaps the filmmakers aren’t entirely to blame . . . although I think it’s not so much a linear cause and effect, but more of a downward spiral. Nine Lives — not an animated movie, but a “man turns into a cat” movie — also looks horrible. Rating: Director: Cast: IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →
Is There an “Anti-Queer” Climate?
Christian conservatives are responsible for the mass shooting at a gay bar in Orlando because they “created this anti-queer climate,” according to American Civil Liberties Union attorneys. — Washington Examiner Agree that the summer climate in Orlando can be pretty oppressive but it’s just as bad for straight people. Haha, but seriously folks, is there an “anti-queer climate” in America? I don’t see that. Can you think of 10 or 12 recent examples of “anti-queer” behavior that you’ve observed in your own life? Six? One? I can’t. Quite the opposite: If a bakery doesn’t want to put two men on a wedding cake, it’s a national outrage. America loves gays. Who in America is more beloved than Ellen and that Doogie Howser kid? Now if you ask me “Is there an anti-Christian conservative climate in America?” I would say — and I’m neither a Christian nor a conservative — definitely… Read more →
God Asks a Question
Following the Orlando shootings, a Connecticut congressman says this: The Moments of Silence in the House have become an abomination. God will ask you, “How did you keep my children safe”? Silence. — Jim Himes (@jahimes) June 13, 2016 I fire the question right back at God: “You’re God. What did you do?” Now he may say that he gives us tools to help ourselves, and failing to use them defies his wisdom. But he’s God. He knows when he gives us the tools that we’re not going to use them. And then he tries to pin the blame on us? No, there’s no wriggling out of it, in my view . . . Read more →
How Is “Gun Control” Supposed to Work?
In Wake of Orlando Shooting, Obama, Others Call for Stricter Gun Laws — WSJ Maybe we should have stricter laws against killing people. Oh we have strict laws against killing people? Having laws against things doesn’t stop them from happening. How are stricter gun laws going to stop mass shootings? How is that supposed to work? I was planning to shoot 100 people but I didn’t want to do it with an illegally obtained gun. Because I might get in trouble with the law. It doesn’t make any sense. Making guns harder to buy or illegal or making certain kinds of guns illegal doesn’t stop anyone from getting them. We have an “assault weapons” ban here in California. The rifles used by the San Bernardino shooters to kill or seriously injure 36 people are illegal in our state. If you’re going to shoot 36 people, why do you care about… Read more →
Doors That Didn’t Necessarily Need to Be Closed
You know, you spend your childhood watching TV, assuming that at some point in the future everything you see there will one day happen to you: that you too will win a Formula One race, hop a train, foil a group of terrorists, tell someone ‘Give me the gun,’ etc. Then you start secondary school and suddenly everyone’s asking you about your career plans and your long-term goals, and by goals they don’t mean the kind you are planning to score in the FA Cup. Gradually the awful truth dawns on you: that Santa Claus was just the tip of the iceberg — that your future will not be the rollercoaster ride you’d imagined, that the world occupied by your parents, the world of washing the dishes, going to the dentist, weekend trips to the DIY superstore to buy floor tiles is actually largely what people mean when they speak… Read more →
Peter Shaffer, 1926-2016
Now I go to become a ghost myself. I will stand in the shadows when you come here to this earth in your turns. And when you feel the dreadful bite of your failures — and hear the taunting of unachievable, uncaring God — I will whisper my name to you: “Antonio Salieri: Patron Saint of Mediocrities” and in the depth of your downcastness you can pray to me. And I will forgive you. Vi saluto. — Peter Shaffer, Amadeus Read more →
Be Anything You Want?
To every little girl who dreams big: Yes, you can be anything you want—even president. Tonight is for you. -H pic.twitter.com/jq7fKlfwGV — Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 8, 2016 And all you have to do is marry a man who becomes president. Inspiring! Read more →
FYI, “Mexican” is Not a Race
All I’m hearing about the last few days is Donald Trump and a Mexican judge and racism. “Mexican” isn’t a race. It’s a nationality, like “Italian” or “Irish.” It’s a reference to a person’s heritage. Just FYI, everybody . . . Read more →
Out of the Blue and Into the Black
Out of the blue and into the black They give you this, but you pay for that And once you’re gone, you can never come back When you’re out of the blue and into the black. — Neil Young, “My My, Hey Hey (Out of the Blue)” Read more →
Could Falling Into a Gorilla Exhibit Happen to Anyone?
I hope our boy appreciates that his mom and I never let him fall into a gorilla enclosure. He’s 22 now. Anything he falls into going forward is on him. I’m not in the “could have happened to anyone” camp on this. The Cincinnati Zoo has more than 1.2 million visitors per year. Out of tens of millions of visitors, only one has fallen into the gorilla exhibit. A 1 in 10 million occurrence doesn’t fall under the “could have happened to anyone” umbrella in my opinion. Read more →
‘Expert’ Predictions for the NBA Finals
26 experts give their predictions for the championship series rematch between the Warriors and Cavaliers. — ESPN.com “Experts.” Provide some insight or context if you have any. How does a prediction add to anyone’s understanding or enjoyment of the game? What is the difference between a prediction from an “expert” and a prediction from a random loudmouth drunk at a sports bar? I notice that a large majority of the “experts” are predicting a victory by the favorite (the Warriors), which is the same result you’d get from a bunch of drunks at a sports bar, or a group of dart-throwing monkeys (of course adjusting the monkeys’ targets to provide a proportionally larger area for the favorite). So what have we learned? Read more →
Praying for Startups
A new Meetup group called Praying for Startups sent me the following email: Are you involved in a startup? Are you a Christian? Meet fellow Christians from all walks of the entrepreneurial eco-sphere, as we share and pray for our teams and the startup community, both locally and abroad. I’d be interested to see some numbers on the correlation between prayer and startup success. I suspect there isn’t any. Also the relative efficacy of prayers to a Christian God vs. Allah, Buddha, Satan, Zeus and all other supernatural beings. Read more →
Fight
That is the difference between me and you. You pack an umbrella, #30 sun goo And a red flannel shirt. That’s not what I do. I put the top down as soon as we arrive. The temperature’s trying to pass fifty-five. I’m freezing but at least I’m alive. Nothing on earth can diminish my glee. This is Florida, Florida, land of euphoria, Florida in the highest degree. You dig in the garden. I swim in the pool. I like to wear cotton. You like to wear wool. You’re always hot. I’m usually cool. You want to get married. I want to be free. You don’t seem to mind that we disagree. And that is the difference between you and me. — Laurel Blossom Read more →
A Picture of God
A little girl was in a drawing lesson. She was six, and she was at the back, drawing, and the teacher said this girl hardly ever paid attention, and in this drawing lesson, she did. The teacher was fascinated. She went over to her, and she said, “What are you drawing?” And the girl said, “I’m drawing a picture of God.” And the teacher said, “But nobody knows what God looks like.” And the girl said, “They will, in a minute.” — Ken Robinson Read more →