“I CAN’T DO FIVE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME!” “Why not?” Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Dogs in San Francisco
If you’re a dog or a recently released felon, you are welcome in San Francisco. Not only are there lots of people walking in SF, there are lots of people walking with dogs. French Bulldogs, Huskies and Pomeranians seems to be especially popular. Until he got too old to really enjoy it, I took Lightning to the Irvine dog park six days a week (it’s closed on Wednesdays) for years. I’ve spent a lot of time around dogs, so I’m better than most people at identifying dog breeds. We were walking in San Francisco last weekend when my wife pointed and asked “What kind of dog is that?” Before I could say “It’s a Labradoodle,” our boy said “Labradoodle.” I must have been visibly stunned because he then asked me “Were you going to say ‘Goldendoodle’?” “No . . . you’re pretty good at identifying dogs now.” This is a… Read more →
Walking in San Francisco
Our boy is working and living in San Francisco now, We went to visit him last weekend . . . It’s hard to drive and park in SF so a lot of people walk to where they need to go. Our hotel was a few blocks from the boy’s apartment but for the most part, we left the car in the parking garage and walked everywhere. On a couple of occasions, we met one of his co-workers walking past us in the other direction. (His office is nearby, 7-8 blocks from his apartment, but it’s a startup, not a huge company like Transamerica with lots of employees.) On another occasion, we met a couple of his college classmates from Cal sitting near us at a local eatery. This is not to mention the friends, classmates and co-workers that we planned to meet up with because they also live in the… Read more →
How Can You Ever Be Sure?
I asked how can you ever be sure that what you write is really any good at all and he said you can’t you can’t you can never be sure you die without knowing whether anything you wrote was any good if you have to be sure don’t write — W.S. Merwin, “Berryman” Read more →
Abeyance
Guess what, Dad and I finally figured out Pandora, and after all those years of silence, our old music fills the air. It fills the air, and somehow, here, at this instant and for this instant only —perhaps three bars—what I recall equals all I feel, and I remember all the words. — Rebecca Foust, “Abeyance” Photo by Siderola Read more →
At the Kite Festival
EppsNet at the Movies: Strictly Ballroom
This is my new favorite movie of all time. It has everything: music, dancing, comedy, romance, fear, courage, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters . . . vivir con miedo, es como vivir a medias! Highly recommended! Rating: Strictly Ballroom Director: Baz Luhrmann Cast: Paul Mercurio Scott Hastings, Tara Morice Fran, Bill Hunter Barry Fife, Pat Thomson Shirley Hastings IMDb rating: ( votes) Read more →
n every living thing there is the desire for love. — D.H. Lawrence
Lesson Learned at the Drive-Thru
This Coke Zero I got at the Del Taco drive-thru tastes more like root beer than any other Coke Zero I’ve ever had. Possibly the guy in front of me or behind me is wondering right now why his root beer tastes like Coke Zero. Note to self: In future visits to fast food drive-thrus, take a sip of the drink before driving off with it. Read more →
Time is Money
Amazon sent me some book recommendations, including A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson and A Really Short History of Nearly Everything by the same author. The second book costs five dollars more. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Maybe condensing a short history into a really short history saves me some time and I have to pay more for that. Time is money . . . in this case, five dollars. Read more →
If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there’d be a shortage of sand. — Milton Friedman
The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses – behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights. — Muhammad Ali
There Are Four Ways You Can Spend Money
There are four ways in which you can spend money. You can spend your own money on yourself. When you do that, why then you really watch out what you’re doing, and you try to get the most for your money. Then you can spend your own money on somebody else. For example, I buy a birthday present for someone. Well, then I’m not so careful about the content of the present, but I’m very careful about the cost. Then, I can spend somebody else’s money on myself. And if I spend somebody else’s money on myself, then I’m sure going to have a good lunch! Finally, I can spend somebody else’s money on somebody else. And if I spend somebody else’s money on somebody else, I’m not concerned about how much it is, and I’m not concerned about what I get. And that’s government. And that’s close to 40%… Read more →
Aside
Your daddy’s rich and your ma is good lookin’, but you’re a mess.
Am I Smarter Than A Japanese Schoolchild?
Are we talking book smart or street smart? If a Japanese kid is computing the area of a rectangle while I’m out gettin’ my bling, who’s smarter, I ask you? Read more →
or why should my freedom be judged by another’s conscience? — I Corinthians 10:29
Stigler’s Law of Eponymy
Stigler’s law of eponymy is a process proposed by University of Chicago statistics professor Stephen Stigler in his 1980 publication “Stigler’s law of eponymy.” It states that no scientific discovery is named after its original discoverer. Stigler named the sociologist Robert K. Merton as the discoverer of “Stigler’s law,” so as to avoid this law about laws disobeying its very own decree. — Wikipedia Read more →
More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Before You Die
50 Books You Must Read Before You Die, 100 Things You Need to Eat Before You Die, 1000 Places You Must See Before You Die, etc., etc., et goddamn cetera. Why not simply say 50 Books You Must Read, 100 Things You Need to Eat or 1000 Places You Must See? We all understand that we won’t be reading, eating or seeing things AFTER we die. Why do you have to introduce death into the equation? Read more →
Lake Louise, Alberta, Canada
Hey Guys, I Wrote a Book!
It’s called Thus Spoke the Programmer: A Fictional Memoir. (Don’t be put off by the title if you’re not a programmer. It’s guaranteed to delight both technical and non-technical readers alike. 🙂 ) If you’re interested in having a look at it, you have a couple of options: Leanpub, a PWYW (pay what you want) platform, which means if you want to read the book for free, you can download it and read it for free. Amazon, available in paperback or Kindle format (not free). Read more →