JOHANNESBURG (AP) — An acclaimed outdoorsman who wrote movingly about testing himself against nature is presumed dead after a crocodile snatched him from his kayak while he led an American expedition from the source of the White Nile into the heart of Congo.
Ho Hum
I saw a woman reading Philatelist magazine. Turns out it’s not as interesting as it sounds . . .
200 Countries, 200 Years, 4 Minutes – The Joy of Stats
Saving for Retirement
Twitter: 2010-12-04
- RT @eddiepepitone: Revised American dream- one day I will have a very small apartment and be out of jail on work release! #
Twitter: 2010-12-03
- Always start off with what's the problem? http://bit.ly/38tweetables #
The Difference Between You and Me
I was late because the directions were useless. You were late because you’re a disorganized person . . .
Fun with Spell Check
I was writing an email this morning with the phrase “smart, motivated team players” but I misspelled it as “smart, moticated team players.”
Outlook’s spell check suggested three possible corrections: motivated, medicated and masticated.
We’re chewing ’em up and spitting ’em out!
Twitter: 2010-11-22
- RT @eddiepepitone: Eating blocks of cheese to fend off despair while the wife plots my death. It must be sunday. #
- RT @serafinowicz: "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died." #
Twitter: 2010-11-20
- RT @eddiepepitone: when my shrink straps me in for electroshock therapy I know it's going to be a good day if the voltage is just right. #
Do You Drink Too Much?
Alcohol Abuse: Do You Drink Too Much?
Warning Sign #1: You avoid reading articles entitled “Do You Drink Too Much?”
Overheard
“I don’t understand what you’re saying but I believe that you have good intentions . . .”
Frugal Tip of the Day
Once you finish a fruit smoothie, the empty cup makes a nice air freshener for your car.
The Problem With Debt
These are all from today’s headlines:
- Ireland told: Take EU bailout or trigger crisis – The Guardian
- Euro under siege as now Portugal hits panic button – Montreal Gazette
- Greek deficit much bigger than estimate – The Guardian
Thirty years ago, we had the savings and loan crisis. Those were the good old days, when investors were only nervous about small banks.
Investors have since become nervous about big banks, then non-bank financial institutions, and now small countries — Greece, Portugal, Ireland . . .
That’s the problem with debt — bad things happen when your investors get nervous.
What’s next? Medium-sized countries, obviously — Italy, Britain — and eventually the biggest of the big: the United States.
Don’t Invite Me
If you invite me to a meeting, you’ll get my opinion.
I’ll probably try to state it in a way that’s interesting and memorable — because I want you to remember it.
Don’t confuse that with being frivolous though. I’m not pulling this stuff out of the air. It’s based on decades of knowledge and experience.
If you’ve already decided what you want to do no matter what I say, don’t invite me to the meeting.
If you want me to agree that something is a good idea when I don’t think it is, don’t invite me to the meeting.
Thus spoke The Programmer.
The Work is Its Own Reward
To make this point to my team members, I rip my pay envelope in half in front of them.
Thank god for direct deposit . . .
Once Again, Age and Guile Triumph Over Youth and Talent
We’re at the gas station . . . I’m in the passenger seat while my son fills ‘er up.
“This pump doesn’t have any way to lock the handle in place,” he says. “I have to stand here and hold it.”
“Really?” I say. Don’t pumps always have a way to lock the handle?
“Yeah, really,” he says. “I’m 100 percent sure.”
I’m about to get out of the car to look things over when he says, “Don’t get out of the car.”
Ignoring this admonition, I get out of the car anyway and sure enough, the pump did have a locking mechanism at one time but it’s been removed.
“You owe me 10 dollars,” the boy says.
“Why?”
“I told you you had to hold it,” he says.
“I didn’t say you didn’t. I just wanted to size up the situation.”
The problem is that in the process of sizing it up, I’m now left holding the pump while the boy, satisfied with his presumptive victory, pulls out his cell phone and starts punching in a text message.
Meanwhile, I take the old school approach of wedging the gas cap into the pump handle, holding it in the on position.
The boy is too busy texting to notice this development, so I wave my hands in front of his face and point to the pump, which is happily pumping away hands-free.
Well sir, I wish you could have seen the look on his face. He was a beaten man . . .
Pick Your Battles
We live in a fallen universe. We can at least be kind to one another and not jump on one another’s slightest errors or moods. In a desperate situation, pick your battles.
Twitter: 2010-11-13
- RT @AnnCoulter: My new invention: Men's underwear that makes your organ look huge in one of those new airport scanners. #
- Fun Fact: Spell check changes "eMetrics" to "emetics." #
The Rising Burden of Government Debt
Our analysis paints a sobering picture of worsening public debt dynamics and a sharply rising debt burden in advanced economies (AEs). But perhaps the worst is yet to come. First, AEs as a group are experiencing little population growth. Second, they are facing rapidly aging populations. Third, their economies are likely to register slow growth . . . Fourth, entitlement spending on health care and pensions is likely to explode due to unfavorable demographics.