This showed up on Facebook this morning (name changed):
Jacques Strap is amazed that God cares about even the smallest details of my life.
In the words of Lyle Lovett: “That’s the difference between God and me.”
Twitter: 2009-05-29
- Who’s your daddy? Chances are it’s this guy: http://bit.ly/4bA2y #
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list–I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed–who never would be missed!
People who use the word “bandwidth” to mean “time,” as in “I’ll see if Sally has the bandwidth to handle that.”
Analog signals have bandwidth, communication channels have bandwidth . . . people don’t have bandwidth.
Twitter: 2009-05-28
- From a reference letter: “Not only did he have the answer to any question, he would give you that answer right away.” #
That Narrows it Down to Half the Population
This exchange — a post followed by a comment — showed up on my Facebook home page today. The poster and the commenter are both women, btw . . .
let’s play a game! Who am I?? I’m the first to talk shit behind peoples back, but when I’m talked about i’m the first to get all pissy! Who am I?
Every female known to man.
I spit cola all over my desk when I read that . . .
Politics Makes Strange Bedfellows
Free Advice for Women Considering an IT Career
I’d just finished reading another tiresome “why oh why aren’t there more women in IT?” article when I found a former colleague on LinkedIn . . . he lists his job title as “Analyst, Software Quality Assurnace.”
Would you hire him as a QA guy? I wouldn’t, and that’s even before I saw how he misspelled “Assurance.”
The IT “profession” is chock full of idiots like this. Why anyone thinks women are missing out on something if they don’t work in IT is a total mystery.
If I had a daughter, I would tell her to be a meeting planner or a flight attendant . . .
Thus spoke The Programmer.
Twitter: 2009-05-27
- Someone’s in the dept conference room screeching profanity. We can hear it through the walls. Can’t wait to see who comes out! #
La Jueza Empática
I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.
President Obama has said he wanted justices with “empathy,” although in fairness he has also insisted that knowledge of the law would not disqualify a prospective nominee.
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
People “complaining” about their busy lives. Cancel some activities and shut the hell up.
20 Years Went By Like the Wind
I found a former colleague on LinkedIn this weekend — he was my boss at my very first IT job as an entry-level programmer.
He mentioned that his daughter had graduated from college and is now an ER nurse. That doesn’t sound right because I remember when his daughter was born and it seems like just last week, but I’m doing the math in my head and sure enough it was more than 20 years ago . . .
Women and Solitaire
We’re driving home from the hockey rink in Corona . . . my son’s playing solitaire on his iPod. As we’re pulling off the freeway in Irvine, he says, “I just won my first game the entire trip.”
I say, “When I play it on the computer, I lose most of the time, but once in a while I’ll get like a three-game winning streak.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“It’s like women in that respect. The overall goal is to make you feel bad about yourself, but they throw in just enough positive reinforcement to keep you from giving up completely.”
Drinking in the Morning
Drinking in the morning has an undeservedly bad reputation . . .
Of course, it’s a three-day holiday weekend and if I want to start the day by enlivening an otherwise ordinary glass of cola with a splash of tequila, that’s nobody’s business but mine.
But I also think that on weekdays, most workplaces would be more interesting and fun if people had a glass or two of wine before coming in to the office . . .
Finding the Dragon
My son and I walk into Trader Joe’s . . . there’s a big sign that says “KIDS! Find the hidden dragon and win a prize!”
“I’m going to find the dragon,” the boy announces. “I bet it’s at the free sample stand.”
Not surprisingly, it’s not at the free sample stand, but while we’re there we’re able to drown our sorrows with some free baked beans and hot dogs . . .
Learning to Drive
My son’s learning to drive . . . pulling out of a parking lot, he turns right and clips the curb a little bit.
I ask him, “Did you look left to make sure no one was coming?”
“I saw no one was coming.”
“How did you see that if you didn’t look?”
“I saw it in my peripheral vision.”
“Did you also see that curb you just hit in your peripheral vision?”
Twitter: 2009-05-23
- Automaker bankruptcies: A success of the market system – http://bit.ly/1BgH7 #
- At Wingnuts w/Casey. For wings. #
- At Corona rink for AAU Nationals #
Where Are We?
A Facebook friend recently posted a set of Washington DC photos. Almost all of the photos show people standing in front of easily recognizable landmarks, but all of them are dutifully captioned — White House, Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, etc.
The one exception is a photo of two people in an ornate lobby with the caption: “I forget where we are here.”
The Passive-Aggressive Cleaning Crew
I asked a facilities person about the cleaning crew situation . . . turns out we did recently hire a new outfit.
Her theory on why they keep moving the watebasket: “Maybe they want you to notice that they emptied it.”
Twitter: 2009-05-22
- If sin and folly get punished appropriately, we’re in for a bad time. — Charlie Munger http://bit.ly/IwmTt #
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
People who run a family business and call it, for example, Dawson & Dawson. That’s stupid. Call it The Dawson Company. Or Dawson, Inc.
What if another family member joins the business? Do you rename it Dawson, Dawson & Dawson?
The only acceptable reason for doing this is if the people involved are completely unrelated but both happen to be named Dawson.