One challenge we’re facing is that some high level executives are now concerned over how the project is progressing and want regular updates–they are used to Microsoft Project GANTT charts, excel charts with deadlines and stop lighting (e.g. yellow light, we’re behind schedule but it’s not critical). How do we map our agile process into the traditional project plans used by upper management for their corporate planning? — Mark A. Herschberg At the Deep Agile seminar he and I did, Jeff Sutherland told of being asked for a GANTT chart or such. He asked the execs in question how accurate those charts were. They replied that they were never accurate. He declined to do them. — Ron Jeffries Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
The Baby Pugs
Originally uploaded by laputa. Read more →
Fortune Cookies
Last weekend, we had dinner at a Chinese place with some of my in-laws. As usual, my son and I were left at one end of the table to entertain ourselves while the rest of the group chatted with each other in Thai. Near the end of the meal, the boy started reading through the fortune cookies and ad libbing the messages: “‘If you’re reading this, you’re most likely Asian, which means your mom will yell at you a lot.’ ‘This fortune cookie is stale. You’re not going to like it.’ ‘You will fulminate in 10 seconds.’” “Fulminate?!” I said. “It was one of my vocabulary words.” Read more →
Money Changes Everything
When I went to Boston, I knew they won championships but didn’t really know the history. But the players always came around, you’d ask questions, they’d talk basketball. You didn’t want to let the guys down. They set the bar high. It’s not like that here [in Indiana], or around the league. We stay at the nicest hotels. In Minnesota we’re right across the street from the arena, maybe a 45-second walk. They’ve got a bus for them. You’ve got to be kidding me. Charter planes. That’s not flying. I always say guys deserve the money, but it changes some people. — Larry Bird Read more →
Redundancies
When the government says ‘Islamic militants,’ it sends a message to the public that Islam and militancy are synonymous. — Sohail Mohammed, a lawyer who represented scores of detainees after the 9/11 attacks. No, that’s not correct. What law school did you go to? If Islam and militancy were synonymous, then you could just say “Islamic” or “militants” and “Islamic militants” would be redundant, like “past history” or “unexpected surprise.” So actually, when the government says “Islamic militants,” it sends a message that Islam and militancy are not synonymous, although you can’t help noticing that most terrorists are in fact Islamic . . . Read more →
The Perfect Boss
In addition to the timely pay for acceptable services he offers, there are a few additional conditions that he imposes on you, if you are one of his subordinates. These are: What actions you take, you believe in. What commitments you make, you keep, What resources you have, you use. What words you say, you believe to be true. What you create, you intend to be great. He knows that if you buy something from an expert, you are wise to let them to deliver it on their own. . . . He requires that the team credibly believe itself to be doing something great, and also insists that all involved relentlessly pursue – and always adopt – what they think is the best available idea. . . . He never allows people to say, “People say…” If unidentified “people” have something to say, they can come say it.… Read more →
Responses to Tragedy
Dinesh DiSouza, a noted conservative pundit, was moved in the aftermath of the Virginia Tech shootings to say this: Only the language of religion seems appropriate to the magnitude of tragedy. Only God seems to have the power to heal hearts in such circumstances. . . . Atheism seems to have nothing to say to people when there is serious bereavement or tragedy. That’s not true. For example, one famous atheist response to tragedy is this: So it goes. DiSouza also forgot to add that if you leave out platitudes, pleasant myths and happily-ever-after fairy tales, religion has nothing to say to people either . . . Read more →
EppsNet Restaurant Review: Norm’s
I hadn’t been to a Norm’s restaurant in years. There isn’t one in my neighborhood. We discovered this one because it’s close to the new place where my son’s taking percussion lessons. Not only was the boy able to get two eggs, two sausages, two pieces of bacon, half a dinner plate full of hash browns, and two gigantic slabs of French toast with butter and syrup for only $5.99, he managed to polish off the whole thing before I even finished my salad. Excellent value! Rating: Five stars. Read more →
How Many Senators Does It Take …
Even when asked something noncontroversial, what he [Barack Obama] personally did to improve the environment, he said 3,000 campaign volunteers planted trees on Earth Day. With a prod from moderator Brian Williams, the NBC anchor, Obama added he’s “been working” to install energy efficient light bulbs at home. He sounded out of touch. — MSNBC Is this the new version of the old joke? How many senators does it take to “work on” changing a light bulb? One to propose a bipartisan commission. One to threaten to de-fund the light bulbs. One to demand the impeachment of Bush and Cheney for keeping us all in the dark. One to vote to pull out the first of the light bulbs by fall of this year with a view to getting them all pulled out by the end of 2008. — Mark Steyn Read more →
Lit Quizzes
New additions to the First Lines and Last Lines quizzes: First Lines Call me Ishmael. It was a bright, cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen. Buck did not read the newspapers, or he would have known that trouble was brewing, not alone for himself, but for every tidewater dog, strong of muscle and with warm, long hair, from Puget Sound to San Diego. Last summer I happened to be crossing the plains of Iowa in a season of intense heat, and it was my good fortune to have for a traveling companion James Quayle Burden–Jim Burden, as we still call him in the West. The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting. Last Lines He loved Big Brother. At that, as if it had been the signal he waited… Read more →
Vox Clamantis in Deserto
As we’re driving home from a hockey tournament, my son and I see a car with a license plate frame that reads DARTMOUTH VOX CLAMANTIS IN DESERTO “Is that the kind of thing they teach you at Dartmouth?” he asks. “Apparently,” I say. “Doesn’t seem very useful.” “No, it doesn’t,” I have to admit. Read more →
Not as Unstoppable as Advertised
For a guy who’s supposed to be the most dominant, unstoppable player of his generation, Shaq has certainly been on the wrong side of some lopsided playoff losses: 1994: Indiana def. Orlando, 3-0 1995: Houston def. Orlando, 4-0 1996: Chicago def. Orlando, 4-0 1997: Utah def. Los Angeles, 4-1 1998: Utah def. Los Angeles, 4-0 1999: San Antonio def. Los Angeles, 4-0 2004: Detroit def. Los Angeles, 4-1 2007: Chicago def. Miami, 4-0 To be fair about it, he did win NBA championships in 2000, 2001 and 2002 with the Lakers, and in 2006 with Miami. Read more →
On the Gulls’ Road
Even if you’re not a fan of the “young woman with a weak heart” plot — and who is? — “On the Gulls’ Road” by Willa Cather is a splendid short story. Read more →
Mrs. Bryant Throws the Gyroball
My son’s having some trouble with 8th grade Algebra. When I work with him on it, I can see that he knows the material and he can do the calculations . . . his biggest problem is a fatalistic, let’s-get-it-over-with, I’m-no-good-at-math attitude, which leads to careless errors, and frustration if his first approach to a problem doesn’t work. I encourage him to take a more positive attitude, to go into the next test saying positive things to himself, like “I know this material” and “I can handle these questions.” “But I don’t know it,” he says. “Mrs. Bryant [his math teacher] throws the gyroball every pitch! And sometimes she hits me with it!” What we have here is a classic self-fulfilling prophecy . . . Read more →
What to Do If You’re Confronted With a Gun-Wielding Madman
Slate has some advice. Here’s how it’s done at USC. Fight On! Read more →
Blast from the Past
After winning 11 state primaries in a field of 16 contenders, I won the Democratic presidential nomination. I then lost the general election to President Nixon. Indeed, the entrenched incumbent president, with a campaign budget 10 times the size of mine, the power of the White House behind him and a highly negative and unethical campaign, defeated me overwhelmingly. But lest [Dick] Cheney has forgotten, a few months after the election, investigations by the Senate and an impeachment proceeding in the House forced Nixon to become the only president in American history to resign the presidency in disgrace. Who was the real loser of ’72? — George McGovern Wow, that is a provocative question. It really made us wonder if we’ve been wrong all these years. Accordingly, we went back and checked. Turns out the real loser was McGovern, just as we had thought! — Best of the Web… Read more →
Casey Goes to Washington
Pictures from my son’s 8th grade trip to Washington, DC. Read more →
Separated at Birth
This photo somehow escaped my attention over the year or so since The M Zone first published it. One of the subjects in the photo is a large, flightless bird with shaggy plumage. The other is an emu. (Actually, the chap on the right is incoming Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen.) Read more →
They Were Not Violent or Crazy
Here’s an offbeat local item as reported in the Orange County Register: Kevin and Joni Park were shot and killed in an oceanfront bungalow at the Montage [a Laguna Beach hotel where bungalows start at $2,200 a night] on Sunday where they had checked in with a semiautomatic handgun and a bag of extra ammunition. The Parks were killed in a confrontation with police after officers were summoned to the hotel at 7:40 a.m. by several 911 callers, who reported a naked, “crazy woman” with a gun who was threatening them in Treasure Island Park, at the southern end of the five-star resort. Mrs. Park appears to be naked in the accompanying photo as well. Was she a nudist? The Register is silent on this point. One of the Parks’ neighbors says that “they were not violent or crazy.” No, they were not violent or crazy. I ask you: who… Read more →
He Doesn’t Know Either
The neighbors next door have twin toddlers and these kids look exactly alike. Yesterday, they were in the front yard with Grandpa when I drove up so I asked him, “How do you tell these boys apart? Help me out with that.” He pointed to one boy and said, “This one has a red shirt, and this one” — pointing to the other boy — “has a green shirt.” Read more →