Further deadly sewage floods are feared after a wave of stinking waste and mud from a collapsed septic pool inundated a Gaza village, killing five people, including two babies. . . . It highlighted the desperate need to upgrade Gaza’s overloaded, outdated infrastructure — but aid officials say construction of a modern sewage treatment plant has been held up by constant Israeli-Palestinian fighting. — Associated Press In related news, the Jerusalem Post reports that Israel recently stopped selling metal pipes to the Palestinians after discovering that the pipes were being used to build rockets that were then launched back into Israel. Bombed with their own metal — ironic! The punch line is what the Palestinians were supposed to be using the pipes for: building a sewage system in Gaza. Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Always Thank Your Dad
My boy is researching a paper on Darwin’s theory of evolution. “How’s the research going?” I ask. “I discovered an error and had to start over,” he says. “You discovered an error in your paper or you discovered an error in Darwin’s theory?” “Well, Internet Explorer discovered an error and had to close.” “Because if you discovered an error in Darwin’s theory, there’s probably a Nobel Prize in it for you. Be sure to mention me in your acceptance speech.” “Shut up.” “[Imitating his voice] ‘I’d like to thank my dad, who always encouraged me to do my best.’” “Shut up.” Read more →
Predicting the Unpredictable
A long range weather forecast should be obtained before leaving, as weather conditions are extremely unpredictable. — Natal Daily News I pulled that quote from a Ron Jeffries sig file. It’s a great Zen-like nugget that sums up the typical approach to software development, i.e., it’s an unpredictable business, so we’ll do lots of upfront planning . . . ignoring the fact that the inherent unpredictability makes dependable upfront planning impossible. Read more →
How Ancient Rituals Die Out
My son had an Irvine honor band concert last night. Along with the junior high group that he’s in, there were groups from the elementary and high schools. I was looking through the program to see if any of his junior high friends had brothers or sisters in the other groups. That turned out to be an impossible mission. To explain why, I’m going to plop my finger down at a random spot in the program and read off a list of the kids’ last names. OK, here we go — Kim, Lin, Chang, Kim, Chang, Kim, Yang, Choi, Chiang, Chen, Tang, Huang, Lee, Tran, Lin, Lee, Yang, Lin, Yi, Oh, Krolewski (Krolewski! “He’s a white boy,” my son explains.) Kim, Song, Chen, Yang, Lin, Kim, Thomas, Tran, Chung, Chan, Lee . . . When I was in school, it was a first-day ritual for the teachers to read through… Read more →
The Daily Puppy / Jiggs the Bulldog
The Halo Effect
The halo effect is a cognitive bias whereby people tend to make specific inferences on the basis of a general impression. It was first identified by psychologist Edward Thorndike in 1920. I read an interesting article this weekend by Phil Rosenzweig, the author of The Halo Effect: … and the Eight Other Business Delusions That Deceive Managers, on the halo effect in the business world: Imagine a company that is doing well, with rising sales, high profits, and a sharply increasing stock price. The tendency is to infer that the company has a sound strategy, a visionary leader, motivated employees, an excellent customer orientation, a vibrant culture, and so on. But when that same company suffers a decline–if sales fall and profits shrink–many people are quick to conclude that the company’s strategy went wrong, its people became complacent, it neglected its customers, its culture became stodgy, and more. In fact,… Read more →
Everyone Who Disagrees With Me Should Die
Some famous scientist — I wish I could remember who — said that new theories supplant old theories not on merit, but only when everyone who believed in the old theory has died. Hence — don’t expect people to embrace your new idea. People hate new ideas. The good news is — eventually a new idea becomes an old idea. Once people start to say, “Oh, that idea’s been around for a while,” or die, whichever comes first, they become more receptive to it. Read more →
Thought for the Day
You didn’t come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can. — Morris Buttermaker Read more →
Not a Moment Too Soon
Eddie Van Halen says he’ll enter rehab — Associated Press This is sad news, and Eddie’s sweet, elderly grandma (pictured at right) says she wishes him the best. Wait a moment . . . I’m being told that the person in the picture is not Eddie Van Halen’s elderly grandma, but is in fact — Eddie Van Halen! Sweet Jesus! This is certainly another blow to the theory that being rich and famous will solve all of your problems! Read more →
It Works!
Xkcd will sell you a T-shirt with this slogan on it. My son loves it. He thinks his 8th grade science teacher should get one. “That’s a great idea,” I say, “if he wants to get fired.” “He could just cross out BIZNATCHES and write KIDS instead,” he suggests. Read more →
Another Reason I Need a Home Office with a Door
I’m working through our monthly cash flow in Quicken while my son bounces a basketball around the family room. I see an expense that I can’t figure out, which happens more often than I’d like when I go through the family finances. “This doesn’t make sense,” I say to myself. “What?” my son asks. “We actually made a little money for once?” He’s so thrilled with this zinger that he breaks into a cross-legged dance around the room yelling “OHHHHHHH! OHHHHHHH!” over and over again. Read more →
Arena Football League Trash Talk
AFL PLAYER 1: You couldn’t make it in pro football. AFL PLAYER 2: Oh yeah? Well, you couldn’t make it in pro football either. AFL PLAYER 1: Touché. Read more →
The Way to Write English
I notice that you use plain, simple English, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English–it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don’t let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. — Mark Twain Enron’s performance in 2000 was a success by any measure, as we continued to outdistance the competition and solidify our leadership in each of our major businesses. We have robust networks of strategic assets that we own or have contractual access to, which give us greater flexibility and speed to reliably deliver widespread logistical solutions. . . . We have metamorphosed from an asset-based pipeline and power generating company to a marketing and logistics company whose biggest assets are its well-established business approach and its innovative people. — Enron Annual Report, 2000 Source: Why Business People Speak Like Idiots: A Bullfighter’s Guide by Brian Fugere, Chelsea… Read more →
Wives and Pugs
I read that pugs like the sound of their owner’s voice almost as much as they like food. That’s why it’s so important to talk to your pug. “It’s important to talk to your wife too,” my wife says. “Pugs are easy to please. Pugs will always be there. Wives have a car and two feet.” Read more →
Life Imitates Art
He said he heard about a couple living in the USA He said they traded in their baby for a Chevrolet — Elvis Costello, “Less Than Zero” PUEBLO — Three people were arrested on charges of swapping a 5-month-old boy for a downpayment on a used Dodge Intrepid and cash, police said Tuesday. — Vail Daily Read more →
Competitively Compelling
Ken Schwaber on software quality: I think what will happen is some places will really get it and will be so competitively compelling that others will have to rapidly change or go out of business. As an offset to that, consider that Ford has known for 40 years how Toyota builds cars. Read more →
Roseville
We have a company directory, including photos, on the intranet, so when I do a project with people in a different office, I like to go to the directory and look at the photos to see who I’m dealing with. Today I started working with some folks in the Roseville office. “Where’s Roseville?” I asked anyone within earshot of my desk. “You know where Sacramento is?” someone responds. Do I know where Sacramento is? What a question! It’s the capital of the state I’ve lived in my entire life. “Duh, no. Hang on, let me get a map.” Geez, if I want to be insulted, I can get that at home. The reason I asked: After clicking on a few of the photos, the kindest thing I could think of to say was “Maybe people in Roseville don’t photograph particularly well.” Read more →
Santayana: “I Told You So”
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. — George Santayana “Is that a fact?” she said. “Well–I’ve got news for Mr. Santayana: we’re doomed to repeat the past no matter what. That’s what it is to be alive. It’s pretty dense kids who haven’t figured that out by the time they’re ten.” “Santayana was a famous philosopher at Harvard,” said Slazinger, a Harvard man. And Mrs. Berman said, “Most kids can’t afford to go to Harvard to be misinformed.” — Kurt Vonnegut, Bluebeard Read more →
I Think He Means Smart-Alecky in a Good Way
My son’s tennis teacher asks me where the boy gets his “smart-alecky” personality — from me or my wife? “Well,” I say, “if by ‘smart-alecky’ you mean ‘funny,’ he gets it from me. If you mean ‘argues for the sake of arguing,’ he gets that from his mom.” Read more →
My Neighbor the Fisherman
My neighbor across the street is a very serious fisherman. He’s got, like, 15 fishing rods in a rack in his garage, one for every occasion. Does he ever take any of his family members along on his fishing trips? No . . . on his list of priorities, they rank somewhere below fish. I suspect his wife has a fish-head mask she puts on when she wants to get his attention . . . Read more →