Make your man feel capable . . . Good: “You are so strong!” “You are so smart!” Bad: “Are you sure you know where you’re going?” These are just examples, but you get the idea . . . Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Happy Valentine’s Day
We’re on a budget . . . maybe I’ll write my love a poem. Seriously though, some flowers for sure . . . I’ll take her for dinner if she wants to, but we really are trying to cut back on the spending a bit. Reality vs. romance . . . Read more →
Train in the Distance
What is the point of this story? What information pertains? The thought that life could be better Is woven indelibly Into our hearts And our brains. — Paul Simon, “Train in the Distance” Read more →
Going to the Temple
My wife makes an occasional visit to one of the local Buddhist temples, and sometimes she “encourages” the rest of the family to join her. “Thanks for coming along,” she says on the drive over. “You made us come,” our son says from the back seat. Then after a pause, “But you’re welcome.” Read more →
Super Bowl Ads
Forgettable . . . although this Doritos ad was notable for the fact that it was made on a budget of $12.97. As my son said after one particularly unmemorable spot (I can’t remember which one): “They paid a trillion dollars to put that on my TV?” Read more →
Adventures in Driving
We’ve just had another of the near-death experiences so common when my wife gets behind the wheel of a car. “Driving with you is a real adventure, honey,” I say. “Not in a good way,” our son adds. She wears multiple combinations of glasses and contact lenses, but her standard explanation — “I can’t see!” — is not as reassuring as she seems to think it is. Read more →
Some People Should Be Allowed to Work at Their Own Pace
Speaking of motivation, today’s Orange County Register has a story about a guy who really knows — or knew — how to light a fire under his employees. According to the story, Woo Sung Park, a landscaping supervisor, told day laborer Ernesto Avalos that he, Avalos, was not pulling his weight on the job. The pep talk so energized Mr. Avalos that he beat Mr. Park to death with a shovel and a pickax. This happened right here in Irvine! Tragically, one of my rich neighbors is now two men short on his beautification project . . . Read more →
The Can Do Manager
Staring your boss in the face and saying June 1 when you know that even a year from June would be optimistic sounds bad. It sounds like lying. But being a Can Do manager sounds good. — Tom DeMarco, Slack Read more →
What Hockey Players Are Supposed to Smell Like
My wife is commenting on the smell of our son’s hockey bag. “You need to air that out sometimes,” she tells him. “Hockey players aren’t supposed to smell like perfume,” he explains. “What are they supposed to smell like?” I ask him. “Sweat and toil,” he says. “Broken bones. And dried blood.” Read more →
Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
Somehow the realization that nothing was to be hoped for had a salutary effect on me. For weeks and months, for years, in fact, all my life I had been looking forward to something happening, some extrinsic event that would alter my life, and now suddenly, inspired by the absolute hopelessness of everything I felt relieved, felt as though a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Nothing that had happened to me thus far had been sufficient to destroy me; nothing had been destroyed except my illusions, I myself was intact. The world was intact. If now and then we encounter pages that explode, pages that wound and sear, that wring groans and tears and curses, know that they come from a man with his back up, a man whose only defenses left are his words and his words are always stronger than the lying, crushing… Read more →
Miscommunication
My son’s upstairs playing PawnGame as my wife yells up to him, “Didn’t I tell you 15 minutes ago to take a shower?” “Yes,” he yells back. “Didn’t you say ‘OK’?” “No, I said ‘hold on.’” “Oh . . . must be something wrong with my ears then.” Read more →
What is Not Worth Doing
Real achievement means inevitably a worthy and virtuous task. To do some idiotic job very well is certainly not real achievement. I like my phrasing, “What is not worth doing is not worth doing well.” — Abraham Maslow Read more →
Mallet Men
My son’s junior high school has two bands, Symphonic Band and Concert Band. You could think of them as the varsity and the JV. Membership in the Symphonic Band is by audition only. Because the boy changed instruments from saxophone to percussion last summer, after the Symphonic Band auditions, he has to play in the Concert Band this year. I don’t think he’s happy about it, but he’s taking lessons and practicing and trying to get better. This week, we had All-City Honor Band tryouts. All five percussionists from the Symphonic Band tried out, and four of them made it. My son also tried out and made it — as first chair. He’s the best junior high percussionist in Irvine. Don’t give up on your dreams, kids! I too played percussion in junior high and high school, where I was known far and wide as the Fast-Hand Mallet Man. So… Read more →
What’s Left?
My instant reaction to the 9/11 attacks was that they were a nuisance that got in the way of more pressing concerns. . . . Accepting that fascism is worse than western democracy, even western democracies governed by George W Bush and Tony Blair, sounds very easy in theory, but it is very difficult to do in practice when you are a habitual enemy of the status quo in your own country. — Mark Cohen, What’s Left? How Liberals Lost Their Way Read more →
EppsNet’s IT Responses
Inspired by Don Carman’s Reporter Responses, a handy list for the IT professional: Good, fast, cheap — pick two. It’s not a show-stopper. It’s a show-stopper. It’s out of scope. It’s not rocket science. It’s not brain surgery. Let’s not reinvent the wheel. That sounds doable. I could do it myself in a week. That’s why I make the big money. It works fine on my machine. It was working fine 10 minutes ago. It’s a best-of-breed solution. It’s an enterprise-class solution. It’s a state-of-the-art solution. It’s an industry standard. It’s a best practice. It’s not one of our core competencies. We’re waiting on requirements. We’re waiting on design. We’re waiting on the vendor. We found some issues in testing. We’re thinking outside the box. Add that to the lessons learned. That’s a ballpark estimate. I’m working smarter, not harder. There are no problems, only opportunities. Since when did you… Read more →
Interview FAQ: How Do You Motivate People?
In 1960, Douglas MacGregor of the MIT Sloan School of Management developed two theories of workplace motivation, Theory X and Theory Y. Theory X assumptions People have an inherent dislike for work and will avoid it whenever possible. People must be coerced, controlled, directed, or threatened with punishment in order to get them to achieve the organizational objectives. People prefer to be directed, do not want responsibility, and have little or no ambition. People seek security above all else. Theory Y assumptions Work is as natural as rest or play. People will exercise self-control and self-direction in the pursuit of organizational objectives. Commitment to objectives is a function of rewards associated with their achievement. People usually accept and often seek responsibility. Imagination, ingenuity and creativity are widely, not narrowly, distributed in the population. The intellectual potential of the average person is only partly utilized. I come down strongly in favor… Read more →
Ali at 65: Still the Greatest
Watching George [Foreman] come back to win the title got me all excited. Made me want to come back. But then the next morning came, and it was time to start running. I lay back in bed and said, “That’s okay, I’m still the Greatest.” — Muhammad Ali Read more →
I Get All the Holidays — And Then Some!
Here’s how I spent the MLK holiday: My son went over to a friend’s house and I stayed home and read a book. When the boy came home, we threw a football around for a while, and then I took Lightning to the dog park, where he fended off an inappropriate advance from a giant black pit bull. So all in all, a jam-packed day of doing nothing . . . A friend of mine tells me he doesn’t get a day off for the King holiday. In fact, he doesn’t get another paid holiday until Memorial Day! HA HA HA! I work for a company in the banking industry. If you work for a bank, you get all the holidays off! In fact, between now and Memorial Day, we get Lincoln’s Birthday, Washington’s Birthday, Groundhog Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Earth Day, Cinco de Mayo and spring break. Plus a… Read more →
Lit Quiz
Identify these two well-known novels from the first and last lines. Answers are in the comments. More lit quizzes here. Book One First line We were using the old blue china and the stainless steel cutlery, with place mats on the big oval table and odd-sized jelly glasses for the wine. Last line I said: “It’s the color of the sky.” Book Two First line The insuperable gap between East and West that exists in some eyes is perhaps nothing more than an optical illusion. Last line “The only proper action,” Colonel Green agreed. Read more →
What Would Andrew Jackson Say?
My son and I are sitting around the house when the phone rings. He looks at the caller ID, which says something about Recruiting. “It’s the U.S. Army,” he says. We don’t pick it up, and a female voice comes on to leave a message, which has nothing to do with the army. “A woman?!” he shouts. “What would Andrew Jackson say about that?” “Andrew Jackson?” “That’s right, soldier!” Read more →