My wife is commenting on the smell of our son’s hockey bag. “You need to air that out sometimes,” she tells him. “Hockey players aren’t supposed to smell like perfume,” he explains. “What are they supposed to smell like?” I ask him. “Sweat and toil,” he says. “Broken bones. And dried blood.” Read more →
Author Archive: Paul Epps
Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
Somehow the realization that nothing was to be hoped for had a salutary effect on me. For weeks and months, for years, in fact, all my life I had been looking forward to something happening, some extrinsic event that would alter my life, and now suddenly, inspired by the absolute hopelessness of everything I felt relieved, felt as though a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Nothing that had happened to me thus far had been sufficient to destroy me; nothing had been destroyed except my illusions, I myself was intact. The world was intact. If now and then we encounter pages that explode, pages that wound and sear, that wring groans and tears and curses, know that they come from a man with his back up, a man whose only defenses left are his words and his words are always stronger than the lying, crushing… Read more →
Miscommunication
My son’s upstairs playing PawnGame as my wife yells up to him, “Didn’t I tell you 15 minutes ago to take a shower?” “Yes,” he yells back. “Didn’t you say ‘OK’?” “No, I said ‘hold on.’” “Oh . . . must be something wrong with my ears then.” Read more →
What is Not Worth Doing
Real achievement means inevitably a worthy and virtuous task. To do some idiotic job very well is certainly not real achievement. I like my phrasing, “What is not worth doing is not worth doing well.” — Abraham Maslow Read more →
Mallet Men
My son’s junior high school has two bands, Symphonic Band and Concert Band. You could think of them as the varsity and the JV. Membership in the Symphonic Band is by audition only. Because the boy changed instruments from saxophone to percussion last summer, after the Symphonic Band auditions, he has to play in the Concert Band this year. I don’t think he’s happy about it, but he’s taking lessons and practicing and trying to get better. This week, we had All-City Honor Band tryouts. All five percussionists from the Symphonic Band tried out, and four of them made it. My son also tried out and made it — as first chair. He’s the best junior high percussionist in Irvine. Don’t give up on your dreams, kids! I too played percussion in junior high and high school, where I was known far and wide as the Fast-Hand Mallet Man. So… Read more →
What’s Left?
My instant reaction to the 9/11 attacks was that they were a nuisance that got in the way of more pressing concerns. . . . Accepting that fascism is worse than western democracy, even western democracies governed by George W Bush and Tony Blair, sounds very easy in theory, but it is very difficult to do in practice when you are a habitual enemy of the status quo in your own country. — Mark Cohen, What’s Left? How Liberals Lost Their Way Read more →
EppsNet’s IT Responses
Inspired by Don Carman’s Reporter Responses, a handy list for the IT professional: Good, fast, cheap — pick two. It’s not a show-stopper. It’s a show-stopper. It’s out of scope. It’s not rocket science. It’s not brain surgery. Let’s not reinvent the wheel. That sounds doable. I could do it myself in a week. That’s why I make the big money. It works fine on my machine. It was working fine 10 minutes ago. It’s a best-of-breed solution. It’s an enterprise-class solution. It’s a state-of-the-art solution. It’s an industry standard. It’s a best practice. It’s not one of our core competencies. We’re waiting on requirements. We’re waiting on design. We’re waiting on the vendor. We found some issues in testing. We’re thinking outside the box. Add that to the lessons learned. That’s a ballpark estimate. I’m working smarter, not harder. There are no problems, only opportunities. Since when did you… Read more →
Interview FAQ: How Do You Motivate People?
In 1960, Douglas MacGregor of the MIT Sloan School of Management developed two theories of workplace motivation, Theory X and Theory Y. Theory X assumptions People have an inherent dislike for work and will avoid it whenever possible. People must be coerced, controlled, directed, or threatened with punishment in order to get them to achieve the organizational objectives. People prefer to be directed, do not want responsibility, and have little or no ambition. People seek security above all else. Theory Y assumptions Work is as natural as rest or play. People will exercise self-control and self-direction in the pursuit of organizational objectives. Commitment to objectives is a function of rewards associated with their achievement. People usually accept and often seek responsibility. Imagination, ingenuity and creativity are widely, not narrowly, distributed in the population. The intellectual potential of the average person is only partly utilized. I come down strongly in favor… Read more →
Ali at 65: Still the Greatest
Watching George [Foreman] come back to win the title got me all excited. Made me want to come back. But then the next morning came, and it was time to start running. I lay back in bed and said, “That’s okay, I’m still the Greatest.” — Muhammad Ali Read more →
I Get All the Holidays — And Then Some!
Here’s how I spent the MLK holiday: My son went over to a friend’s house and I stayed home and read a book. When the boy came home, we threw a football around for a while, and then I took Lightning to the dog park, where he fended off an inappropriate advance from a giant black pit bull. So all in all, a jam-packed day of doing nothing . . . A friend of mine tells me he doesn’t get a day off for the King holiday. In fact, he doesn’t get another paid holiday until Memorial Day! HA HA HA! I work for a company in the banking industry. If you work for a bank, you get all the holidays off! In fact, between now and Memorial Day, we get Lincoln’s Birthday, Washington’s Birthday, Groundhog Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Earth Day, Cinco de Mayo and spring break. Plus a… Read more →
Lit Quiz
Identify these two well-known novels from the first and last lines. Answers are in the comments. More lit quizzes here. Book One First line We were using the old blue china and the stainless steel cutlery, with place mats on the big oval table and odd-sized jelly glasses for the wine. Last line I said: “It’s the color of the sky.” Book Two First line The insuperable gap between East and West that exists in some eyes is perhaps nothing more than an optical illusion. Last line “The only proper action,” Colonel Green agreed. Read more →
What Would Andrew Jackson Say?
My son and I are sitting around the house when the phone rings. He looks at the caller ID, which says something about Recruiting. “It’s the U.S. Army,” he says. We don’t pick it up, and a female voice comes on to leave a message, which has nothing to do with the army. “A woman?!” he shouts. “What would Andrew Jackson say about that?” “Andrew Jackson?” “That’s right, soldier!” Read more →
The Next Best Thing to Being There
My wife is talking about the possibility of a Christmastime family trip to Thailand. She’s from Thailand, lived there through college, and still has relatives there. I’ve never been to Thailand — I hate to travel, for one thing — but our son has been over there with her on a few occasions. Here’s his reaction, punctuated with frantic screaming: “AHHHHH! It’s people who can’t speak English in 170-degree heat!” I don’t think this boy has a future as a travel agent. “They haven’t seen you in a long time,” my wife tells him. “Can’t we do a video conference?” Read more →
Blessed Art Thou
In case you don’t recognize the woman in the painting, it’s Angelina Jolie (as the Virgin Mary) with her kids, hovering in the heavens above a Wal-Mart. Read more →
Fear in the Workplace
Perhaps most surprising to us has been the degree to which fear appears to be a feature of modern work life. Whenever we talk with others about this work, such as on airplanes with strangers, we get a similar response — “Oh yeah, I can relate to wanting to speak up but biting my tongue.” It’s really a shame how much apparently untapped knowledge there is out there and how much pain and frustration results from this silence. That, too, has been somewhat surprising–that people are genuinely hurt and frustrated about their silence. This suggests that employees aren’t failing to provide ideas or input because they’ve “checked out” and just don’t care, but because of fear. — “Do I Dare Say Something?,” HBS Working Knowledge What is happening here? Let’s examine some possibilities: Some people are afraid to speak up under any circumstances and the workplace has nothing to do… Read more →
A Hug from Your Mom
Replacing an on-site customer with some use cases is about as effective as replacing a hug from your Mom with a friendly note. — Ron Jeffries Read more →
Rose Bowl Update
John David Booty’s 391 passing yards was the highest total ever for a USC quarterback in a bowl game. The USC song girl buttocks investigation has apparently been resolved. Read more →
LSU 41, Notre Dame 14
Brady Quinn and the rest of the Irish seniors wrapped up their college careers by doing what they do best: losing every big game they play, most of them badly. It was the ninth consecutive bowl loss for Notre Dame, setting a new NCAA record for ineptitude. Thank God they locked up Charlie Weis for 10 years, huh? As recently as last week, Weis was assuring everyone that he plans to be at Notre Dame for the duration. More of a threat than a promise at this point . . . See Also: How to be a Notre Dame Fan Read more →
USC 32, Michigan 18
So much for the Wolverines’ “We should have been in the National Championship game” argument. Kudos to J.D. Booty (391 yards, 4 TDs), who took a lot of criticism this season, had a mediocre first half, including a fumble, then came back after halftime and took over the game. I got some delayed gloating from a UCLA grad about denying USC a national championship shot. Let’s keep it simple: either you’re good enough to win a national championship or you’re not. The Trojans lost to Oregon State and UCLA. They weren’t good enough. Still, it’s better to go to the Rose Bowl and win it than to go to the Emerald Bowl and get your rear ends kicked by the 8th-place ACC team. And the victory over USC may be a mixed blessing for Bruin fans, who will now likely be stuck with Karl Dorrell for at least one more… Read more →
Pug Photos from Flickr
Originally uploaded by laserone. Originally uploaded by joborges. Originally uploaded by joborges. Originally uploaded by joborges. Read more →