Effective immediately, I’m going to start de-friending everyone who sends a Facebook status update about how glad they are that it’s Friday, how glad they are that it’s Thursday because it’s almost Friday, how gloomy they are because it’s Monday, how they hate to be at work, blah blah blah et fucking cetera.
SHUT UP LOSERS! Stop wasting your life and mine with this nonsense!
Find an activity that you love and engage in it . . .
Just fired off a quick email reply: “oh good.” But mistyped it: “oh god.”
One of my in-laws says to me, “I enjoy reading your Facebook updates.”
“Thanks,” I say. “I enjoy reading yours too. When I’m having trouble sleeping.”
“Forty percent of the people at my school speak Korean,” my son says. “Or Chinese. I can’t tell the difference.”
My son’s got a hockey game tonight. His mom is going to bring him to the game; I’m going to bring the hockey gear and meet them there.
There’s a risk when we do it that way that the boy gets there and isn’t able to play because I don’t show up with his equipment, but that’s never actually happened. In fact, I’m almost always there first.
In spite of that fact, he says to me this morning, “Get there early tonight so we don’t have a situation like last week.”
I say, “We didn’t have a ‘situation’ last week. I got there exactly the same time you did.”
“Just get there early,” he says.
It’s 7 p.m. and my son’s ready to make a deal . . .
“If I study for an hour,” he says, “can I go play basketball at 8?”
His mom is skeptical. “You just played Xbox for five hours,” she says.
He shakes his head vehemently. “Four-and-a-half hours,” he says.
The dizziest woman in the office just used the word “congruence” in a sentence — correctly.
Have I underestimated her?
http://playingforchange.com – From the award-winning documentary, “Playing For Change: Peace Through Music”, comes the first of many “songs around the world” being released independently. Featured is a cover of the Ben E. King classic by musicians around the world adding their part to the song as it travelled the globe. This video and “Don’t Worry” are available at iTunes while other songs such as “One Love” will be released as digital downloads soon; followed by the film soundtrack and DVD in stores on 4.21.09.
Sign up at www.playingforchange.com for updates and exclusive content.
Join the Movement to help build schools, connect students, and inspire communities in need through music.
Obama still has the approval of the people, but the establishment is beginning to mumble that the president may not have what it takes.
Gee — do you really think so? What was your first clue? The loud noise of nest eggs being crushed all over America every time he opens his mouth?
President of the United States is not a job for a dilettante three years out of the Illinois state senate. Before I was elected president, I served as governor of Virginia, minister to France, secretary of state under George Washington and vice president under John Adams.
I also wrote the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom and, in my younger years, at age 33, a little something called the Declaration of Independence.
President Obama’s accomplishments? I’ll step aside and let one of his supporters enumerate them:
An optimist sees a green light everywhere; a pessimist sees only the red light. The truly wise person is colorblind.
A true optimist is a man who can look in a toilet bowl and see only corn.
The situation could not be more serious. It is inexcusable and irresponsible for any of us to get bogged down in distraction, delay or politics as usual while millions of Americans are being put out of work.
LOOK, IT’S BRAD PITT! OMG!!!
There’s a stranger in the house no one will ever see
But everybody says he looks like me.
Who is that sad little gray-haired man standing next to my tall, handsome boy?
To give you an idea of how pathetic the NBA’s Eastern Conference is this season, The Cavs and the Celtics have both clinched playoff spots!
I know what you’re thinking: Wasn’t the All-Star Game just last weekend?
Cleveland still has 22 games left to play. They could lose all of them — a 22-game losing streak — and still make the playoffs . . .
My first memory was of stories about the past — a past that, according to the storytellers, was superior in every way to the life then being lived. It didn’t take me long, however, to understand that the present was all we had, for the past was gone and nothing could be done about it.
A friend works at a wind energy company. I asked him if he was getting his share of the money from our new planned economy. His response: “We are stimulated! There is some good stuff in there for renewable. We may need to open a DC office just to chase the $$.”
As long as we think that we can grow GDP by having an ever-larger proportion of our best citizens working as full-time lobbyists, it would seem that the stimulus bill is working as advertised.
If anyone ever told you there’s no reason to learn math in school, they are absolutely right!
Americans are so mathematically illiterate that you’re better off learning to speak Klingon if you want anyone to understand you.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve walked through a mathematical demonstration of some concept and gotten back a reply like “Well I don’t see any reason why . . .” or “Let’s have a meeting to discuss that.”
God, it’s painful.
If you’re still in school, don’t bother learning any more math than you absolutely have to. It’ll just come back to haunt you.
