Out of love for mankind, and out of despair at my embarrassing situation, seeing that I had accomplished nothing and was unable to make anything easier than it had already been made, and moved by a genuine interest in those who make everything easy, I conceived it as my task to create difficulties everywhere. . . .
Failures and Mistakes
I had mistakes, plenty, but I had no failures. We may not have won a championship every year. We may have lost games. But we had no failures. You never fail if you know in your heart that you did the best of which you are capable. I did my best. That is all I could do.
Haiku on The Myth of Sisyphus
Master of his days,
Could Sisyphus be happy?
Camus says he is.
I Got This Joke From Shaquille O’Neal
From THE_REAL_SHAQ:
A Rastaman walks n2 a bank & hands the teller a bag of weed. She says “Sir, what is this 4?” Da Rasta said, “Mi wan open a joint account!”
HW’s Parenting Pointers
Facebook exchange:
1st woman: Why does my 15-year-old son ALWAYS have to push his boundaries???
2nd woman: Same reason you and I did at 15 🙂
Yeah — bad parenting.
If you haven’t figured out what your kid is all about long before he turns 15, you’re both fucked.
Sorry, but I ain’t Doctor Fuckin’ Phil. I’m bringin’ it!
Hockey Haiku
Northwood wins 3-2
IHF Finals next week
May the best team win
Grammatically incorrect — “best” should be “better” — but it’s okay because I’ve got a poetic license!
It’s right here in my wallet . . .
Haiku
Outside my window
Somewhere in the big pine tree
A bird is singing.
New TGIF Policy in Effect
Effective immediately, I’m going to start de-friending everyone who sends a Facebook status update about how glad they are that it’s Friday, how glad they are that it’s Thursday because it’s almost Friday, how gloomy they are because it’s Monday, how they hate to be at work, blah blah blah et fucking cetera.
SHUT UP LOSERS! Stop wasting your life and mine with this nonsense!
Find an activity that you love and engage in it . . .
Sometimes I Am Too Fast
Just fired off a quick email reply: “oh good.” But mistyped it: “oh god.”
Oh the Vacuity!
One of my in-laws says to me, “I enjoy reading your Facebook updates.”
“Thanks,” I say. “I enjoy reading yours too. When I’m having trouble sleeping.”
Diversity
“Forty percent of the people at my school speak Korean,” my son says. “Or Chinese. I can’t tell the difference.”
Situational Avoidance
My son’s got a hockey game tonight. His mom is going to bring him to the game; I’m going to bring the hockey gear and meet them there.
There’s a risk when we do it that way that the boy gets there and isn’t able to play because I don’t show up with his equipment, but that’s never actually happened. In fact, I’m almost always there first.
In spite of that fact, he says to me this morning, “Get there early tonight so we don’t have a situation like last week.”
I say, “We didn’t have a ‘situation’ last week. I got there exactly the same time you did.”
“Just get there early,” he says.
Quotes & Lessons from “Comedian”
Check Your Facts
It’s 7 p.m. and my son’s ready to make a deal . . .
“If I study for an hour,” he says, “can I go play basketball at 8?”
His mom is skeptical. “You just played Xbox for five hours,” she says.
He shakes his head vehemently. “Four-and-a-half hours,” he says.
Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc
I Wonder
The dizziest woman in the office just used the word “congruence” in a sentence — correctly.
Have I underestimated her?
Stand By Me
http://playingforchange.com – From the award-winning documentary, “Playing For Change: Peace Through Music”, comes the first of many “songs around the world” being released independently. Featured is a cover of the Ben E. King classic by musicians around the world adding their part to the song as it travelled the globe. This video and “Don’t Worry” are available at iTunes while other songs such as “One Love” will be released as digital downloads soon; followed by the film soundtrack and DVD in stores on 4.21.09.
Sign up at www.playingforchange.com for updates and exclusive content.
Join the Movement to help build schools, connect students, and inspire communities in need through music.
Thomas Jefferson: Obama Not Up to the Task?
Obama still has the approval of the people, but the establishment is beginning to mumble that the president may not have what it takes.
Gee — do you really think so? What was your first clue? The loud noise of nest eggs being crushed all over America every time he opens his mouth?
President of the United States is not a job for a dilettante three years out of the Illinois state senate. Before I was elected president, I served as governor of Virginia, minister to France, secretary of state under George Washington and vice president under John Adams.
I also wrote the Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom and, in my younger years, at age 33, a little something called the Declaration of Independence.
President Obama’s accomplishments? I’ll step aside and let one of his supporters enumerate them:
Albert Schweitzer was a Bore
An optimist sees a green light everywhere; a pessimist sees only the red light. The truly wise person is colorblind.
A true optimist is a man who can look in a toilet bowl and see only corn.
Could Not Be More Serious
The situation could not be more serious. It is inexcusable and irresponsible for any of us to get bogged down in distraction, delay or politics as usual while millions of Americans are being put out of work.
LOOK, IT’S BRAD PITT! OMG!!!