I love this picture! Pugs love to play tug-of-war even though we’re not very good at it!
There’s also a good pug photo set here.
— Lightning 
Easily Annoyed
Someone asked me if getting easily annoyed with people makes her a bad person.
No — you can be easily annoyed and still be a good person. In fact, I think being easily annoyed makes me a better person, because it forces those around me to improve.
But seriously, it helps sometimes to remind myself that no matter how it looks, most people are trying to be helpful — in their own annoying way . . .
The Postman Always Rings Twice
“Earlier in this case, at a bail hearing, I said to Mr. Simpson, I didn’t know if he was arrogant, ignorant or both,” [District Judge Jackie] Glass said. “During the trial and through this proceeding, I got the answer, and it was both.”
Wife “Accidentally” Shot During Sex
SPRINGFIELD, Ohio — A Tri-State woman is in critical condition Wednesday after police say her husband shot her while they were having sex.
After you’ve been married for a while, you have to try new things in the bedroom to keep it interesting . . .
Movin’ On Up!
BOSTON (AP) — Paul Benedict, the actor who played the English neighbor Harry Bentley on the sitcom “The Jeffersons,” has died. He was 70.
I Had a Great Meeting
I had a great meeting today — eight women plus myself.
That’s not why it was great though.
These ladies want to launch an online Education Room with webinars, a speaker directory, announcements of upcoming events . . . they have none of the content ready . . . and they want to launch it on Jan. 1, 2009.
So instead of talking about how they’re planning to get the content to me so I can build the thing, they’re saying things like, “When you hover over a webinar link, it will display a description of the content — like on Netflix . . .”
Netflix. Right. So I say, “You’re not gonna get that.”
Oh, they loved it! They laughed and laughed. They knew it was ridiculous, they just wanted someone to tell them it was ridiculous.
Women love a masterful man who’s good at his work.
Thus spoke The Programmer.
A Tradition Returns
When I was growing up in Southern California, USC and UCLA both played home football games at the Coliseum. And every year, when the teams played each other, they both wore their home uniforms — the Trojans wore cardinal jerseys and the Bruins wore blue.
That tradition ended in 1982, when UCLA began playing home games at the Rose Bowl, because NCAA rule 1-4-3-a states that “the visiting team shall wear white jerseys.”
Twenty-six years later, the tradition returns.
Pete Carroll announced today that when the Trojans come out of the locker room at the Rose Bowl this Saturday, they’ll be wearing cardinal jerseys, in violation of NCAA rule 1-4-3-a.
They will then be assessed a penalty of one timeout per half.
Wait, what — they lose two timeouts?! OMG, they might NEED those timeouts! Oh sure, USC is heavily favored but it’s a RIVALRY game! Throw the record books out the window!! Anything can happen!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
God bless Pete Carroll! FIGHT ON!
More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of
Diagonal Jaywalkers
I don’t mind if you want to cut across the middle of the road. I do that myself.
But when I do it, I take a straight line perpendicular to the street and I walk briskly, maybe even jog a little bit. I don’t take a diagonal path into oncoming traffic and refuse to speed up when I see a car coming.
Why do I not do it that way, you ask?
Two reasons:
- The person driving the car may not be paying attention and may run me over and kill me.
- The person driving the car may be a crazy person looking to run over anybody who gets in his way. YOU DON’T THINK SO?! There’s a lot of nuts out there! Read the news! I swear to god, some days I feel like I’m just hanging on by a thread myself.
Think about that the next time you try to walk in front of my car.
American Tune
Oh, and it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right
You can’t be forever blessed
Still, tomorrow’s going to be another working day
And I’m trying to get some rest
That’s all I’m trying
To get some rest
Thinking About It
My son is stick-handling a hockey ball on the hardwood floor in the family room, when I notice a skate wrench lying on the table.
I say, “Why don’t you put that skate wrench in your hockey bag?”
“Okay,” he says.
“Why don’t you do it now, while you’re thinking about it?”
“Okay,” he says.
A couple minutes later, when he’s still stick-handling and the wrench is still lying there, I say, “While you’re thinking about it, why don’t you put that skate wrench in your hockey bag?”
“Okay,” he says.
“That’s the third time you’ve said okay, and the wrench is still there.”
“I’m still thinking about it.”
Stacking Plates is Woman’s Work
After Thanksgiving dinner, the hostess asked everyone to please stack their dishes and bring them into the kitchen.
I started to stand up — not to stack dishes because my wife had already picked up my dishes — but just to stretch my legs, when my dad, who was sitting next to me, put his hand on my arm and whispered, “Don’t get up. That’s woman’s work.”
I said, “I’m just getting up to stretch.”
“Don’t move,” he said.
My dad, like a lot of men his age, has old school views on gender roles.
Earlier in the evening, my mom was saying she’d read that women control 60 percent of the wealth in America.
“That’s all right,” my dad said, “because we control the women.”
Compare that to one of my nephews, who says things like “I’m nobody’s patsy,” then turns to his wife and says, “Isn’t that right, honey?”
I’ll Take a Pass on the ‘Master’ Chorale
My dad asked me at Thanksgiving dinner if I wanted to bring my family along to an L.A. Master Chorale concert that he and my mom and my sister are going to next month. Tickets range from $24 to $68.
I said, “There isn’t really anyone at my house who’d enjoy that. We’re philistines. In fact, to be honest with you, I’d be more interested in watching American Idol. Now, I’ve never seen American Idol, but at least it’s free and I wouldn’t have to leave my house.
“And what’s with calling yourself the ‘Master’ Chorale anyway? What hubris! Who gives themselves a title like that? ‘Listen to us! We’re the masters of choral music!’ Oh yeah? Why don’t you just sing something and let people decide for themselves what masters you are.
“I mean, if you play third base, you don’t tell everyone what a great third baseman you are. You just play third base and let people see for themselves if you’re great or not. Right?”
Now, I stand by every word of that . . . I just wish someone had told me ahead of time that my brother-in-law, who was in attendance at the dinner, is in the Master Chorale . . .
Thanksgiving Pies
Pumpkin pie is my favorite Thanksgiving food, but for throwing in someone’s face, a cream pie becomes the preferred choice.
The reason I mention that is that at the Thanksgiving family get-together, one of my nieces, age 19 or 20, announced that she’s always wanted to take a pie in the face.
My ex-sister-in-law was more than happy to oblige and immediately started looking around to see what was available.
Now a pretty girl taking a pie in the face is not only hilarious, it’s also — dare I say it — kinda hot. Am I right?
So it was a real disappointment to find that the only pies available were mince, apple and pumpkin. No cream pies.
Well, maybe next year . . .
The Drudge Report is the Pug of Web Sites
I read where someone said the Drudge Report is one of the best designed sites on the web. A lot of people say the Drudge Report is ugly.
Ha! A lot of people say pugs are ugly too. It doesn’t matter to me. Beautiful and ugly are just opposites that people made up. According to the Tao, there are no opposites.
The Drudge Report is the pug of web sites.
— Lightning
Software Tips from Bjarne Stroustrup
Here are 38 tips from the designer of the C++ programming language.
These in particular jumped out at me:
[5] Don’t try technological fixes for sociological problems
[8] Design processes to encourage feedback
[9] Don’t confuse activity for progress
[10] Don’t generalize beyond what is needed, what you have direct experience with, and what can be tested
[19] Use existing systems as models, as inspiration, and as starting points
[22] Design for change, focusing on flexibility, extensibility, portability, and reuse
[27] Keep it small. Don’t add features “just in case”
[29] Repeatedly review and refine both the design and the implementation
[31] Experiment, analyse, and test as early as possible and as often as possible
Good Places for the Blues
Good places for the Blues: a. highway b. jailhouse c. empty bed d. bottom of a whiskey glass
Bad places for the Blues: a. Nordstrom’s b. gallery openings c. Ivy League institutions d. golf courses
Is That a Primate in Your Pocket? Etc.
A Handful of Editors
It used to be that a handful of editors could decide what was news–and what was not. They acted as sort of demigods. If they ran a story, it became news. If they ignored an event, it never happened. Today, editors are losing this power. The Internet, for example, provides access to thousands of new sources that cover things an editor might ignore. And if you aren’t satisfied with that, you can start up your own blog, and cover and comment on the news yourself. Journalists like to think of themselves as watchdogs, but they haven’t always responded well when the public calls them to account.
A recent American study reported that many editors and reporters simply do not trust their readers to make good decisions. Let’s be clear about what this means. This is a polite way of saying that these editors and reporters think their readers are too stupid to think for themselves.
A Perfect Game
I was reading about a guy, 62 years old, been bowling in the same league for 45 years . . . he achieves his lifelong dream of bowling a perfect 300 game, and then, to make it even more perfect, immediately keels over and dies.
What a way to go! It’s so important to die at the right time if you want to be remembered at your best.
Actuarially speaking, 62 years is not a long lifespan. But let’s say the guy had lived another 20 years — he would have accomplished nothing and probably wasted away in an old-age home.
Who wants to be remembered like that?
Poor guy. Look at him. Would you believe that 20 years ago he bowled a perfect game?
What I Learned Today at Hair Masters
If you look like Larry Fine with one day to live, do not get your hair colored. You’re wasting your time and money and holding up the other patrons.