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My wife decided to highlight her own hair, which costs five dollars if you do it yourself versus 50 dollars at the hair salon.

Later I noticed, in the master bathroom, a large black carpet stain in front of her sink.

“That can be taken care of,” she said.

I said, “I can’t help noticing that someone, probably you, has already tried to get that stain out without much success.”

“I don’t have the right cleaning product,” she said. “And it’s time to get the carpet cleaned anyway. Carpet cleaners can get that out easily. Easily. Been there, done that.”

“So let’s review,” I said. “We saved 45 dollars on the hair coloring but we’re going to end up spending a thousand to replace the carpet . . .”