EppsNet Archive: Language

More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of

2 Aug 2017 /

“Hacks” — when used as a synonym for “advice,” “tips” or “recommendations.” Health hacks, productivity hacks, work-life balance hacks, time management hacks, stress management hacks, creativity hacks, memory hacks, etc. . . .

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To Whom it May Concern

30 Dec 2016 /

I can’t decide if you’re more fatuous than vacuous or the other way around, but you are definitely complacently inane . . .

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Lost in Translation

26 Jul 2016 /

Via Philip Greenspun:

Tel Aviv cab driver: “I told my kids that the only place ‘Success’ comes before ‘Hard Work’ is in the dictionary.” (works better in Hebrew, presumably)


What People Want to Pronounce

17 Jul 2016 /

pronunciation


He Doesn’t Know the Meaning of the Word “Quit”!

15 Jul 2016 /

Or a lot of other words . . .


Gutsy Winds

17 Apr 2016 /

“Gutsy performance by the winds today.”

“The sign said Gusty Winds.”

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Overheard

28 Mar 2016 /

Overheard


More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Full-Throated

16 Mar 2016 /

“Full-throated” seems to be used a lot lately to describe politicians and their utterances, i.e., full-throated endorsements, full-throated denunciations, etc.

What a pretentious nonsense word. Instead, just say “loud.”

Frigate bird


Fun Fact of the Day

12 Mar 2016 /

If you try to send “Oh good” as an email reply but type “Oh god” by mistake, your spell checker will not flag that as an error.


Proofread Your Own Work

15 Dec 2015 /
Proofread

FYI, if you meant to type “invest in education” but actually typed “incest in education,” which you might do because the ‘c’ and ‘v’ keys are right next to each other, a spell checker will not catch that as a mistake . . .


I can’t wait for President Trump to outlaw “For English, press 1” on automated phone systems.

Posted by on 23 Oct 2015

Does Anyone Else See a Problem Here?

9 Oct 2015 /

LA MER


More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of: Before You Die

30 Jul 2015 /

50 Books You Must Read Before You Die, 100 Things You Need to Eat Before You Die, 1000 Places You Must See Before You Die, etc., etc., et goddamn cetera.

Why not simply say 50 Books You Must Read, 100 Things You Need to Eat or 1000 Places You Must See? We all understand that we won’t be reading, eating or seeing things AFTER we die. Why do you have to introduce death into the equation?


Always “Ass…”

23 Jun 2015 /

Have you ever noticed in your inbox or browser tabs how the word “Association” always gets truncated to “Ass…”? Never “As…” or “Asso…,” always “Ass…”

Inbox

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If a Tree Falls in the Forest …

29 May 2015 /

I encountered this on a web page . . . the header followed by a dark gray bar and nothing else. Is a questionnaire with no questions still a questionnaire?

Questionnaire


Why Do I Need Clean Pennies?

26 Mar 2015 /

Clean pennies


Bonified?

9 Mar 2015 /

From LinkedIn:

Decision Engineering is emerging as a new profession. | LinkedIn


Automatic for the People

13 Feb 2015 /

Ripe red apple with green leaf

There’s a bag of apples in the kitchen at work, still in the original packaging, which reads “Automatic, Crisp, Juicy.” What is an “automatic” apple? I’ve never heard of such a thing.

Hold on a sec . . . on further review, the packaging says “Aromatic” not “Automatic.” Neither one makes a lot of sense. I took one out and found that if I inhaled deeply enough, it smelled a little bit apple-y.


How to Tell if Your Food Server is a Robot

1 Jan 2015 /

I’ve been reading some articles recently about increased use of robots in the food service industry. I think we had a robot server the other day at the Jack in the Box drive-thru. My boy ordered a medium Mountain Dew with his meal and I ordered a large Coke Zero with mine.

“Which one is the Mountain Dew” I asked the woman (robot) at the window as she handed us the drinks.

“The medium one,” she said.

Only a robot would answer the question that way. A human would say “The yellow one.” Because it’s a dopey question and a human recognizes why it’s a dopey question and answers accordingly. The robot only knows that the medium drink is the Mountain Dew and the large drink is the Coke Zero.

Girls at table with robot


HIS and HER

24 Oct 2014 /

I work at an educational non-profit. Whenever I type the abbreviation HSI (High School Intervention), Microsoft Word automatically “corrects” it to HIS. When I worked at a healthcare organization and typed EHR (Electronic Healthcare Record), Word helpfully “corrected” it to HER.

There’s a nice symmetry to that: HIS and HER.


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