EppsNet Archive: Stupidity

61% Say It’s Time for Hillary Clinton To Retire

12 Sep 2017 /

61% Say It’s Time for Hillary Clinton To RetireRasmussen Reports

I feel like this is something the whole country can agree on.

Granted, 61 percent is not 100 percent but you have to take into account that 25 percent of Americans think the sun goes around the earth, nearly 30 percent of Americans ages 18 to 24 cannot locate the Pacific Ocean on a map and half the residents of Detroit can’t read.

Hillary Clinton has come out of seclusion just as we remember the 16th anniversary of 9/11, and as both Texas and Florida are underwater, and all she wants to talk about is Hillary Clinton.

This woman is completely tone-deaf, always has been and apparently always will be . . .


See You in Hell

22 Aug 2017 /

Satan

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE]

I hate to say I told you so.

See you in Hell . . .

Robert Lee


See You in Hell: Robert E. Lee Edition

20 Aug 2017 /

Satan

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE]

Greetings from the underworld!

I saw this on Facebook today:

Traveler

First of all, the temperature on that screencap — 81 degrees? That’s the temperature in Los Angeles. The temperature here in Hell is much hotter.

Secondly, Americans are the fattest, dumbest people on the planet. Did you know that 25 percent of them think that the sun goes around the earth?

So most Americans don’t even know who Robert E. Lee was, let alone the name of his horse (it was Traveller, with two l’s).

Once it’s explained to them — who Robert E. Lee was, his horse’s name, what the Civil War was all about — they put it all together: the USC mascot is a racist horse!

Also coming under scrutiny: everyone named Robert or Lee or having the middle initial E.

See you in Hell . . .


10 Reasons That NY Times Chart Might Not Mean What You Think It Means

14 Aug 2017 /

From the New York Times:

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/08/07/opinion/leonhardt-income-inequality.html
  1. Money is not the only metric for measuring life outcomes. Charts and articles like this seem to reflect an inappropriate obsession with narrowly materialist values.
  2. If you do want to measure your life with money, it looks like the 99th percentile is where you want to be. Why aren’t you there? Why aren’t you a CEO? Why aren’t you making a million a year? If you can’t figure out how to get there, don’t begrudge the people who did figure it out. If you don’t have the education, motivation, intelligence or skills to get there, don’t begrudge those who do.
  3. The amount of wealth is not a fixed amount. It’s not a zero-sum game. If it were, it would be concerning that a few people are very wealthy. But it isn’t.
  4. The distribution of income has to be skewed to the right because income is bounded on the low end by zero but not limited on the upside.
  5. If you can’t imagine why income inequality exists, consider that 25 percent of Americans think the sun goes around the earth.
  6. If you can’t imagine why income inequality exists, consider that half the residents of Detroit can’t read.
  7. People who get upset at the realization that some other people have more than they do make excellent targets for politicians who promise, in return for your vote, to rob the people you envy.
  8. Winners may have more money but losers get more hugs.
  9. I see a lot of articles about income inequality but I don’t meet a lot of ordinary Americans who are concerned about it.
  10. There seems to be a confusion of cause and effect. Did income rise the fastest for people in the top one percent or did people get into the top one percent because their income rose the fastest? If that isn’t clear, consider an example: Did Mark Zuckerberg’s income go way up because he was on the right side of that chart or is he on the right side of the chart because his income went way up?

I Paid My Debt to Society

19 Jul 2017 /
Jury

I paid my debt to society by reporting in for jury duty today. Jury duty is worse than losing a limb. In my experience, if you pick 12 Americans at random, you get nine good, clear-thinking citizens and three people who are like, “Well, anything’s possible.”

For example, the last time I served on a jury, the case involved a defendant who was driving drunk and crashed a car with passengers into a tree. There were photos taken after the crash showing the defendant pinned behind the steering wheel of the car.

His defense? He wasn’t the person driving the car. He didn’t testify himself but that was the defense presented by his attorney. And three of the jurors were like, “Yeah, that’s possible.” Hung jury.

 

Today I survived three rounds of random juror calls in the morning and by lunchtime they started calling names of people to go home, including mine.

The people still left in the jury assembly room didn’t appreciate my exuberant fist pumps on my way out.

In the hallway, I crossed paths with some actual jurors on their way to the cafeteria.

“Let justice be done though the heavens fall!” I exclaimed. They didn’t appreciate me either.


Woman Knocks Over $200K Artwork Trying to Take a Selfie

14 Jul 2017 /


Signs of Trouble

28 Jun 2017 /

When a headline starts with one of the following, rest assured there’s going to be trouble:

“Bungee jumper . . .”

“Florida woman . . .”

“YouTube gun stunt . . .”

Related link: How Much Paper Does It Take to Stop a .50-Cal Bullet?


More People I’m Sick Unto Death Of

26 Mar 2017 /
Yogurtland

People who ask for sample cups at the yogurt shop. A couple of possible explanations:

  1. You’re trying to eat a bunch of yogurt without paying for it.
  2. You’re an idiot and you’re genuinely puzzled by the mysterious flavor names like “Strawberry.” You need a sample cup to figure out what the Strawberry yogurt tastes like? It tastes like strawberry. You want to know what the Coconut flavor tastes like? Coconut. How about the Mango?

Either way, you’ve got to pull yourself together . . .


Don’t Put a Sweater on a Pit Bull

2 Jan 2017 /

Police in Florida say a dog named Scarface attacked a family who tried to put a sweater on it.

Tampa police say the pit bull mix bit a 52-year-old woman who was trying to dress it Friday and her husband was attacked while trying to pull the dog off her. Police say the couple’s 22-year-old son was attacked while trying to stop the dog by stabbing it in the neck and head.

The three people escaped the house and left the dog in the backyard. They ended up in the hospital.

Italian greyhound

Woman attacked when she tries to put a sweater on the dog, husband attacked when he tries to pull the dog off his wife, son attacked while trying to stab the dog in the neck and head . . . meet your average, run-of-the-mill pit bull owners.

Folks, if you feel like you really must put a sweater on your dogs and you don’t want to end up in the hospital or the morgue, the dog of choice is the Italian greyhound. Those shivery little fuckers love to wear sweaters.

Visit any dog park in the fall or winter months and you’ll see IGs prancing about in sweaters, often hand-made by the owners. It is a match made in heaven.


Why Do We Need the Sign?

1 Jan 2017 /

I saw this in the men’s room of Bright Angel Lodge at the Grand Canyon . . .

Why is that sign necessary? Were people complaining, “The toilet water in the men’s room tastes a little off“?

“Yes, that’s because it’s sewage. Man, we gotta put up a sign.”

Granted, there’s no bottled water sold in the national park (because of the plastic) but there are other options available before you resort to drinking toilet water.


Give Me a Flaming Russian

19 Sep 2016 /

If you listen closely, you can hear “Great Balls of Fire” playing on the jukebox.

(Kidding, there’s no sound.)

View post on imgur.com


Income Inequality Explained

23 Aug 2016 /

I saw this sign at a gas station soda fountain . . .

Don't fill cups with the lid on


Income Inequality Explained

9 May 2016 /
http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2011/05/04/report-nearly-half-of-detroiters-cant-read/

Salesmanship

6 May 2016 /
Johann Sebastian Bach

“How many pieces are you playing at the piano recital?”

“Two,” I reply, “but one is very short.”

“Who are the composers?”

“Bach and Liszt.”

“What is that? ‘Box’?”

“Why do you ask me who the composers are if you’ve never heard of Bach?”

“That’s salesmanship.” Did I mention he’s a salesman? “You’ve gotta push it.”


Dad vs. Stupidity

14 Apr 2016 /

I overheard one of my colleagues saying to another, “My dad is really opposed to any kind of stupidity.”

I passed that along to my own son: “If you want to describe me in that way — ‘My dad is opposed to stupidity in all forms’ — it’s okay with me. I mean, you don’t have to if you’re not feeling it but I can think of worse ways to be remembered.”


A Lesson in Free Markets

20 Mar 2016 /

A lesson in free markets


You Already Know Who I Am

11 Mar 2016 /

I clicked an Unsubscribe link from an email and got a web page with this form:

Unsubscribe

YOU ALREADY HAVE MY EMAIL ADDRESS! YOU SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THIS LINK IN IT!


Yale Students Sign Petition to Repeal the First Amendment

16 Dec 2015 /

The video below shows documentary filmmaker Ami Horowitz asking Yale students to sign a petition aimed at repealing the First Amendment. Horowitz was able to collect more than 50 signatures in less than an hour in what he called an “unbelievable display of total stupidity.”


More Words and Phrases I’m Sick Unto Death Of

6 Dec 2015 /

Americans are the fattest, dumbest people on earth . . . and because being fat and dumb are remediable given the proper motivation, it’s fair to say that Americans are also the most unmotivated people on earth.

This is not to say that all Americans are fat, dumb and unmotivated. There’s a subset of Americans who get up every morning, brush their teeth, go to work, excel at what they do, come home, set the alarm and get up and do it again tomorrow. And take care of their families. These people are carrying the rest of the country on their backs.

But for the average American, the best explanation for his or her life being the way it is is likely to be “I’m fat, dumb and unmotivated.” That’s a pretty tough admission to spit out though so most of us look around for something more palatable to sell to ourselves and others, like (if you’re a non-white person) “white privilege.”

 

There’s no way to have a polite conversation around phrases like “white privilege” because no one likes being categorized into a group and then insulted as an undifferentiated mass. If you’re tempted to use “white privilege” in a conversation as something other than a provocation or an alibi, help out your listeners by saying what it means to you and provide some recent examples from your own life.

I have to admit that the concept of white privilege doesn’t resonate with me given the benefits that have accrued to me personally as a white person (none that I know of) and the frequency with which I personally observe behavior that strikes me as racially motivated (never).

 

Barack Obama was elected in 2012 with 51 percent of the popular vote66 million people willing to hire a black man to the most powerful job in the country. And that’s an artificially low number because not everyone of voting age actually votes. In 2012, more than 100 million eligible voters did not vote.

Projecting 51 percent Obama support over the entire voting-age population gives us a number well over 100 million. (If you don’t like the 51 percent assumption, note that Obama would really only need the support of 34 percent of the 100 million non-voters to reach 100 million total supporters, and I don’t think a case can be made that his support among non-voters was below 34 percent.)

All the white privilege in the world doesn’t erase the fact that if you’re a black American, there are at least 100 million people willing to give you a chance to prove yourself. And you don’t need 100 million people, you probably only need one.


Bonified?

9 Mar 2015 /

From LinkedIn:

Decision Engineering is emerging as a new profession. | LinkedIn


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