EppsNet Archive: Marriage

The Royal Wedding

One good thing about being British royalty is if your wife turns out to be a disappointment in some respect, you can have her executed. Can I get an Amen on that? Read more →

The Woman in the Photo

Is that his wife in the photo? Because I’m about to divorce my wife after looking closely at this photo . . . Read more →

This is Where Your PDF Resume Will Take You

Received the following advice today: When applying for jobs, never send your resume in .docx format. Fonts don’t always get embedded and hiring managers cannot always open these files. Use PDF. Do we really want to work for managers who can’t open a Word doc? Imagine the world-class mentoring and career development you’re going to get from such a person.… Read more →

How I Married My Mother

Oklahoma mom who once married her son will now go to jail for marrying her daughter — Fort Worth Star-Telegram Mom is being jailed for felony incest. I think we can all agree that marrying the son was a wrong thing to do, but I thought incest requires sexual intercourse. The two women are adults, there’s no child abuse, there… Read more →

Turning Away Wrath

There are answers which, in turning away wrath, only send it to the other end of the room, and to have a discussion coolly waived when you feel that justice is all on your own side is even more exasperating in marriage than in philosophy. — George Eliot, Middlemarch Read more →

EppsNet Book Reviews: Middlemarch by George Eliot

George Eliot is a transgender author whose work was previously unfamiliar to this reviewer. Ha, kidding! It’s hard to think of new things to say about old books, but if you appreciate the novel as an art form, or you think you might appreciate the novel as an art form if you gave it a chance, you should read Middlemarch.… Read more →

Grounds for Dissolution

Divorce has traditionally been a fault-based proceeding, but California and most other states are now no-fault jurisdictions, and a divorce in legal terms is now called a Dissolution of Marriage. And yet we never hear anyone say “I’m going to dissolve you.” The primary ground for dissolution in California is “irreconcilable differences.” In a Regular Dissolution you are also allowed… Read more →

Matt Lauer’s Secret Sex Lair!

Lauer’s private office at storied 30 Rockefeller Plaza contained a secret button that could essentially turn that office into a secret sex lair. — Fox News The “secret button” closed the office door and locked it, if the doorknob was in the locked position. If closing the door and locking it turns an office into a “secret sex lair,” isn’t… Read more →

The Perfect Murder?

Realtor Who Vanished During Harvey Found Dead, Ex-Husband Arrested — Yahoo! News That probably seemed like a good plan at the time, murdering your former spouse under cover of a natural disaster. I bet that happens all the time. A woman is discovered drowned . . . who’s to know you actually drowned her in the bathtub ahead of time?… Read more →

“I’m Not Pointing Any Fingers . . .”

. . . I say to the only other person who lives in my house, “but SOMEone plucked the toppings off the leftover pizza.” Read more →

We Did It the Old-Fashioned Way

I overheard a couple people discussing IVF today . . . here in Southern California the cost apparently runs $15,000 – $20,000 for a single IVF cycle, which of course includes no guarantee of success. When my wife and I decided to have a child, I knocked her up on the first try. Just wanted to put that on the… Read more →

A Naked Person Wearing Glasses

I get out of the shower and, reversing my normal procedure, put on my glasses before getting dressed . . . “Is it funny to see a naked person wearing glasses?” I ask my wife. “No, I see that all the time.” “You do? Where?” “Uh . . . in a movie.” Read more →

Fight

That is the difference between me and you. You pack an umbrella, #30 sun goo And a red flannel shirt. That’s not what I do. I put the top down as soon as we arrive. The temperature’s trying to pass fifty-five. I’m freezing but at least I’m alive. Nothing on earth can diminish my glee. This is Florida, Florida, land… Read more →

People Having a Worse Week Than You

Dear Amy: I am a happily married 27-year-old woman about to have my first baby, and I am terrified because it isn’t my husband’s baby. Last spring, another woman and I took a trip to the Bahamas. At the hotel I had a massage and was seduced by the masseur. I tried to resist, but I guess I got carried… Read more →

It’s Not Your Head

I’m telling my doctor about these shooting pains that I get near the back of my head, behind my left ear. Sometimes they don’t happen for months and sometimes they happen several times a day. She says it’s likely to be caused by stress and tension. “You don’t think it’s a brain tumor?” I ask. “No, because a brain tumor… Read more →

I Have a System That I Think Would Work

I have a system that’s based on leaving myself visible reminders. I think it would work except that my wife likes to move things consistent with where she thinks they should be, even if they’re not her things, so instead of a working system I have a non-stop “Where’s Waldo?” challenge, which is not as fun as it might sound… Read more →

February 14, 278: St. Valentine Beheaded

Why was I not informed about this? Seriously, I never knew St. Valentine was beheaded until today. Why am I always the last to know? Keep me in the loop, people! According to History.com: Under the rule of Claudius the Cruel, Rome was involved in many unpopular and bloody campaigns. The emperor had to maintain a strong army, but was… Read more →

Michigan Man Dies in Crash While Masturbating to Porn Video

Michigan man dies in crash while driving and masturbating to porn on his phone — NY Daily News Years ago, I was in a public restroom stall in an office building when I felt a mild earthquake. It occurred to me that a bad way to die would be to have a building collapse on you while sitting on a… Read more →

EppsNet Book Reviews: Mindset by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.

Carol Dweck’s research is part of a tradition in psychology that shows the power of people’s beliefs. These may be beliefs that we’re aware of or unaware of but they strongly affect what we want and whether we succeed in getting it. This tradition also shows how changing people’s beliefs can have profound effects. Dweck’s insight into fixed mindset (bad)… Read more →

Mutual Admiration

Our boy is very handsome, his mom says. She says she can’t understand how that happened. “You don’t think I’m handsome?” I ask. “We’re average-looking people, let’s be honest about it. You don’t agree?” “I think you’re very beautiful.” “You’re very handsome,” she says, after a pause almost too short to notice. Read more →

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