EppsNet Archive: Women

Let’s See the Minnesota Twins

 

I saw these on sale at the Minneapolis airport. It’s maybe not obvious from the photo but they’re women’s cut V-neck T-shirts. Feel free to supply your own punch line because I’m not saying anything. Read more →

Tom Brady, Gisele Bündchen File for Divorce

 

I may be ignorant about crucially important details obviously but it seems like the main problem from Ms. Bündchen’s point of view was that her husband had a job. First, I’m super against divorces for people with minor children. Second, there are just few if any people who are as physically attractive as Tom Brady, have the charisma of Tom Brady, have as much money as Tom Brady, and are as good at their job as Tom Brady. So if she’s thinking she’s going to upgrade her spouse, she’s almost certainly deluded or getting bad advice. On the other side, I can’t help thinking that Tom Brady would be able to choose from any number of fabulously attractive women to enliven his social life. Read more →

PETA Advocates Sex Strike

 

Don't women also enjoy sex? I suppose some women like animals more than sex but those are not the women you're going to have a good time with anyway. https://t.co/dIPHFmivBs — Paul Epps (@paulepps) September 28, 2022 I mean, if a woman doesn’t want to put meat in her body . . . well, you see where I’m going with this . . . Also, I would expect the number of meat-eating women to be roughly equal to the number of meat-eating men. How are meat-eating women going to be punished? Read more →

Evil is Burning

 

Iran has yearned for this glorious dance for over 40 years.Evil is burning — Woman is rising pic.twitter.com/CjGFNESH91 — Mariam Memarsadeghi (@memarsadeghi) September 20, 2022 Read more →

Christmas Cake

 

From urbandictionary.com: A woman 26 years+ who is considered to be past her prime, undesirable, used goods and/or no good. The term originates from Japan where it is tradition to eat cake on Christmas. So a cake intended for Christmas that was not eaten or is left over is considered bad and should be thrown out. Japanese businessmen coined the term, once again emphasizing the Japanese desire for a young and virginal wife. Japanese women over the age of 26 most often have to rely on either a hastily semi-arranged marriage to a friend of the family or, more frequently, marry a foreigner as they are rarely aware of the stigma or don’t care. “If we wait until after grad school, I’ll be Christmas Cake.” “She just turned 26. She’s Christmas Cake now.” “She married her husband at 30, so you know he wasn’t bothered that she was Christmas Cake.” Read more →

The Jerry Hall Problem

 

Sylvester Stallone’s Wife Jennifer Flavin Files for Divorce After 25 Years of Marriage – people.com Women have got it made, my friends. No matter what you hear about sexism, glass ceilings, misogynist Republicans, etc., men can’t do what Jennifer Flavin (and others) can do, i.e., marry a rich, older spouse, get divorced, take a windfall profit, and still have a lot of good years ahead of you. Flavin is 54. Her soon-to-be ex-husband is 76. I read the other day that Jerry Hall filed for divorce from Rupert Murdoch. I didn’t even know she was married to Rupert Murdoch. I know she was Mick Jagger’s partner for long enough to have four kids with him. The child support from someone of Mick Jagger’s wealth, while I don’t know exactly what it is, has got to provide a very handsome income stream. Jerry Hall is 66 years old. She looks good… Read more →

“People Who Menstruate …”

 

“Don't you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it.” – George Orwell https://t.co/uPOyP7aHDQ — Paul Epps (@paulepps) June 14, 2022 Read more →

People of All Genders Need Abortions?

 

I've been trying to get pregnant just so I can get an abortion but so far, no luck. https://t.co/G6SzTy5gb8 — Paul Epps (@paulepps) May 7, 2022 Read more →

Menstrual Equity

 

I'm not a doctor but I know enough about male paraphernalia to say that if a man is expelling blood through his genitals, a tampon is not going to help. https://t.co/tkaQkuCek3 — Paul Epps (@paulepps) May 5, 2022 Read more →

There Is No Country Like America

 

From an interview with Virginia Lt. Gov. Winsome Sears: There is no country like America. There is not. Not one. . . . I mean, I’m the one who got off the plane and here I am, here in the former capital of the Confederacy for goodness sake. I am second in command. Second in command. I’m a black woman. I am not first-generation American. I am still the immigrant. As I said, I’m a black woman, immigrant, and what else can you say to me that would say, well, “racism, racism, racism”? How do you explain me? I’m not an outlier. I’m not a one-off. The opportunities are here. Are we denying that there have been problems, that there has been slavery, that there has been racism, or that there has been segregation, and redlining, and blue codes, and all this stuff? No, we’re not denying any of that.… Read more →

This Day in History: Aretha Franklin

 

On Jan. 3, 1987, Aretha Franklin became the first (biological) woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. This may be an opportunity for someone inducted before 1987 to put on a dress and say “Wait a minute, I identify as a woman” and knock Aretha out of the history books. It worked for Amy Schneider. Read more →

See You in Hell, Gruden Haters

 

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings mortals — I’m getting a chortle out of this Jon Gruden situation. Apparently 10 years ago in an email, Gruden said that a man with big lips has big lips and now everyone in America thinks he’s a worse person than I am. He also said (via email) some things about gays and queers that people didn’t like, and has been labeled a misogynist for saying that women shouldn’t officiate football games. What is a misogynist? It’s someone who dislikes women, right? He didn’t say, “I don’t think women should officiate football games because I hate women.” Female officials seems like a point on which reasonable people might differ. At the same, a comedian named Dave Chappelle released a Netflix special in which he says things far more offensive than anything Gruden said, if you’re… Read more →

A Solution for Abortion Access

 

From the Los Angeles Times: California law states that people have a “fundamental right” to choose and obtain an abortion before a fetus becomes viable. The governor has vowed to protect that right. But just because abortion has more legal protection in California does not mean it is readily accessible to all, advocates of reproductive choice say. Many Californians struggle to afford the procedure, and some live far from a clinic that provides it. Such practical barriers can make abortion too difficult to access for Californians, despite the legal assurances on the books, advocates say. What a calamity! There are no legal roadblocks to abortion in California, and yet a mother-to-be who doesn’t want to be a mother may still find the procedure inaccessible or unaffordable. What about condoms? Are condoms inaccessible or unaffordable? Always worked for me . . . Read more →

Following the Science on D*ck Pics

 

Recently, mounting anecdotal reports – mostly by heterosexual women on Internet-based dating platforms – have drawn attention to the frequency of men sending unsolicited photos of their own genitals (i.e., “dick pics”). In a U.S. sample of 2,045 women of all sexual identities and 298 gay/bisexual men, among those who had ever received a “dick pic,” nearly all (91%) had also received an unsolicited “dick pic.” Women had a predominantly negative reaction to unsolicited dick pics — about 70 percent negative — but the math on that tells us that for every three dick pics you send out, you’re likely to get at least one positive reaction. I’m not making any recommendations on what you should or should not do, but that’s science, folks, and everybody knows by know that you’ve got to follow the science. A couple of other findings from the study: older women responded more positively to… Read more →

Transgender Runner CeCe Telfer Ruled Ineligible for US Olympic Trials

 

Transgender runner CeCe Telfer ruled ineligible for US Olympic trials — nypost.com Yes, that’s because he’s a man trying to compete against women. Can he still try out for the men’s Olympic team? Granted, that would be more difficult. To give you an idea, Telfer ran the 400m hurdles as a man for two years at Franklin Pierce University and was ranked 390th among men’s Division II athletes in that event. Note that I said Division II. The best athletes compete in Division I. He was 390th in Division II, i.e., a complete nobody. In 2019, he won a national championship in the women’s 400m hurdles (which by the way are 6 inches lower than men’s hurdles, 30 inches instead of 36). By a second and a half. Not even close. Because he was competing against women. Read more →

Biological Women Will Be Extinct. Also: Roger Bannister

 

On this date, May 6, in 1954, in Oxford, England, 25-year-old medical student Roger Bannister became the first athlete to break the four-minute mile, finishing with a time of 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds. In other news, there’s currently a controversy over whether or not transgender girls and women should be allowed to compete against biological girls and women in sporting events. To that debate, we add a few more facts: The current men’s world record for the mile run is 3:43:13 by Hicham El Guerrouj of Morocco. The current boys’ high school record for the mile is 3:53:43 by Alan Webb. High school boys have been running sub-four-minute miles since at least the 1960s. The current women’s world record for the mile run is 4:12:33 by Sifan Hassan of the Netherlands. The athletic performance gap between men and women is so big that the best women in the world… Read more →

International Transgender Day of Visibility

 

Did you know that March 31 is International Transgender Day of Visibility:? I didn’t know it either until today when someone posted an announcement on a corporate message board. It’s not even that new. It started in 2009. As Joe Biden would say, here’s the thing: 1) Everybody plays by the same rules. 2) Do whatever you want but don’t feel like you have to bash everyone over the fucking head with it. Is it within the rules for a woman to post on a corporate message board that she had vigorous intercourse with a man last night? And if someone takes exception she replies that she wants to recognize the accomplishments of heterosexual men and women, to celebrate the successes of the community and to educate those who may discriminate against cis-normative individuals? I feel like that would not be well-received, that maybe I’m inventing this but that we… Read more →

Another Difference Between Men and Women

 

Breaking: USC has agreed to pay more than $1.1 billion to former patients of campus gynecologist George Tyndall, the largest sex abuse payout in higher education history. https://t.co/ipEtrsLGRc — Los Angeles Times (@latimes) March 25, 2021 My condolences to everyone involved in this painful case. Am I allowed to observe that men also have their genitals examined by medical professionals, who may be doctors, nurses or others, who may identify as male or female, straight or gay, but I’ve never heard of a man filing a lawsuit because he felt there was something wrong with the way the examination was conducted. Other than every single examination of male genitals being conducted in a way that was unquestionably above reproach, which seems unlikely, I don’t even want to speculate on the reason for the discrepancy. Also, my doctor, who identifies as female, once stuck her finger up my ass. There was… Read more →

See You in Hell, Violent Idiots

 

[See You in Hell is a feature by our guest blogger, Satan — PE] Greetings mortals! I was reading about the shootings that occurred in Atlanta last Tuesday. The author says, “Eight people were murdered. Six of them were Asian-American women. It seems impossible to feel this as anything other than anti-Asian and misogynistic violence.” Here’s a tip: Whenever someone prefaces an opinion by saying “it’s impossible to feel differently about this than the way I feel about it,” the speaker is full of shit. State your case. Hit me with some evidence. If the shooter had opened fire in a supermarket like the violent idiot in Boulder, he could have killed anyone he wanted to. Had he killed mostly Asian women, then I’d say you’ve got a good case for anti-Asian, misogynistic violence. But the guy in Atlanta shot up massage parlors. He blamed them for turning him into… Read more →

HW’s Whiskey Reviews: Basil Hayden’s Dark Rye

 

I know it’s customary in talking about whiskey to talk about “notes” of vanilla, toffee, hammers, etc. But let me just say that I like my whiskeys the way I like my women: dark and rich. Rating: Read more →

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