EppsNet Archive: Dogs

Stop in the Name of Pug

17 Apr 2017 /

Stop In The Name Of Pug


One Last Goodbye

16 Apr 2017 /

We spread Lightning‘s ashes at Huntington Dog Beach this weekend. We didn’t make a big production of it — it’s probably illegal, for one thing — but we hiked out to the end of the rock pier and gave him back to the sea.

The Dog Beach and the Irvine Dog Park were the places he was at his best — off-leash and able to be his dominant alpha pug self.

For example, here’s a (blurry) photo of him assassinating a puggle who carelessly but intentionally blindsided him at the dog park:

Lightning at the dog park

Lightning wrote a poem he wanted us to read when we spread his ashes. I think he plagiarized it, to be honest . . . he wasn’t much of a poet but we loved him . . .

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.


Looking For a Vet in Orange County?

8 Apr 2017 /

We took Lightning to Animal Hospital of Irvine his whole life — 13 years. We boarded him there too when we went out of town. They took excellent care of him.

How do I know that? Because years ago we used to board him at PetSmart and it was always a struggle. He didn’t want us to leave him there.

I thought it was because he didn’t want us to leave him anywhere but when we started boarding him at Animal Hospital, his tail was wagging like crazy when we dropped him off. They gave him lots of attention and took him for lots of walks and even let him out of the kennel and let him walk around the office.

We had to let Lightning go last weekend. Wendy, one of the staff members, came into the procedure room where we were waiting and said how sorry she was. She was crying.

Lightning was her favorite. Wendy is older than the other staff members and what she liked most about him is that the effects of aging never affected his heart or his personality. I hugged her and told her that I know he loved her and was always happy to be there because she took the best care of him.

This week in the mail we got a picture frame and a sympathy card from the staff.

Card and picture frame

Animal Hospital is probably not the least expensive vet in town (is there such a thing as an inexpensive vet?) but they really do care about the animals and their owners . . .


Lightning, 2003-2017

1 Apr 2017 /

Lightning alert

Lightning sleepy

We got Lightning as a Xmas present for our boy in 2003.

Things we learn from dogs:

  • Unconditional love
  • Nothing lasts forever

Later in life, Lightning lost most of the use of his back legs. He had to drag them a little when he tried to walk. He couldn’t jump anymore and couldn’t go up or down the stairs but he never complained about that.

He also lost his eyesight. Never complained about that either. He never got sad or frustrated when he occasionally walked into a wall or a piece of furniture. He had a good mental map of the house and didn’t need or want help to get around.

Last year, the vet thought he might have a leaky heart valve but that turned out not to be the case. His heart was invincible all the way.

The only thing he ever got sad about was toward the end, he didn’t like to be alone. He whimpered if I was in the house and he couldn’t be wherever I was. He couldn’t be fooled on this. He could smell when I was anywhere in the house.

My wife and I were with him all the way to the end. I didn’t cry until afterwards.

Last meal: In-N-Out cheeseburger and a pup cup from Starbucks.

He would probably like to be remembered like this . . . a video of a family trip to the beach when we were all more or less in our prime . . .

RIP Lightning


Goodbye, Everybody

1 Apr 2017 /

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

This is going to be my last post. I wish you all could have as happy a life as I did. I gave all the love I had and I got all of it back. Thanks for reading my blog.

The first needle made me feel sleepy. All my memories are coming back now. I can see my mom and dad and my brothers and sisters. I can smell them. They’re all here now. Every moment I want I can live again.

The 2nd needle. So sleepy. It’s like falling, but being wrapped and cozy too. I don’t need to breathe anymore.

Goodbye, everybody . . .

— Lightning paw

Lightning

Tags: , ,

Parenting Blunders Ranked

2 Jan 2017 /
American pit bull terrier

In other pit bull news, our neighbors across the street, who have a 5-year-old son, just brought home a 1-year-old pit bull from the animal shelter.

This is a terrible idea because they don’t know the background of the dog, what is its history with people, adults, children, with other dogs, etc.

Of course that’s true of rescue dogs of any breed, but the worst-case scenarios with most breeds don’t include maiming or killing a family member, probably your 5-year-old.

Even the most poorly socialized pug, golden retriever, chihuahua, etc., is not going to kill anyone.

By the way, I think pit bulls are great dogs but they need to be socialized and trained. I wouldn’t get one from an animal shelter because I don’t know the background of the dog.

As parenting blunders go, this is not quite up there with letting your child fall into a gorilla enclosure, but it’s close . . .


Don’t Put a Sweater on a Pit Bull

2 Jan 2017 /

Police in Florida say a dog named Scarface attacked a family who tried to put a sweater on it.

Tampa police say the pit bull mix bit a 52-year-old woman who was trying to dress it Friday and her husband was attacked while trying to pull the dog off her. Police say the couple’s 22-year-old son was attacked while trying to stop the dog by stabbing it in the neck and head.

The three people escaped the house and left the dog in the backyard. They ended up in the hospital.

Italian greyhound

Woman attacked when she tries to put a sweater on the dog, husband attacked when he tries to pull the dog off his wife, son attacked while trying to stab the dog in the neck and head . . . meet your average, run-of-the-mill pit bull owners.

Folks, if you feel like you really must put a sweater on your dogs and you don’t want to end up in the hospital or the morgue, the dog of choice is the Italian greyhound. Those shivery little fuckers love to wear sweaters.

Visit any dog park in the fall or winter months and you’ll see IGs prancing about in sweaters, often hand-made by the owners. It is a match made in heaven.


We Need to Get a Cat

28 Jul 2016 /

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

I told my owner that we need to get a cat.

— Lightning paw


If a Cat Identifies as a Dog . . .

11 Jul 2016 /

If a cat identifies as a dog, can the cat be denied full access to public dog park facilities? Can the cat be denied admission to K-9 police dog training?

END THE DISCRIMINATION!


Pup Cups Don’t Need To Be Colorful

5 Jul 2016 /

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

Starbucks gave me a pup cup today in a mini-Frappucino cup. My owner says it’s very colorful, but I can’t see anymore and dogs don’t see colors the same as humans anyway. I like the plain white cups better because they’re wider and it’s easier to get all the whipped cream out.

— Lightning paw

A photo posted by Paul Epps (@paulepps) on


My Dog Is a Genius

27 Jun 2016 /

This needs a little setup . . .

I used to take Lightning on weekend mornings to the Irvine Dog Park, then afterward to the Starbucks drive-thru, where I’d get a beverage and he’d get a pup cup (a cup of whipped cream).

He loves Starbucks. He used to get super animated from the time he saw we were turning left on Irvine Center Drive (toward Starbucks) to the time he actually got the pup cup at the drive-thru window.

He also knows the words “Starbucks” and “pup cup”:

He’s too old to enjoy the dog park now — he doesn’t walk well and he can’t see — so I walk to Starbucks myself on the weekends and bring the pup cups home for him.

Today I took him to the Starbucks drive-thru, just like old times, and he got super excited again when we got there, just like old times.

As I said, he can’t see, so he had no visual cues about where we were. I didn’t say the words “Starbucks” or “pup cup” to him, and he was excited long before he heard me place the order.

So how did he know?

My second-best guess is that the navigation to Starbucks is imprinted in his doggie memory. My best guess is that because the Starbucks drive-thru has a lot of foliage, it has a unique smell that he remembers.

Anyway, some non-visual cue or cues, but he was quite certain about where he was.


Dogs Are Descended From Wolves

1 May 2016 /

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

Did you know that dogs are descended from wolves? Wolves aren’t as big or strong as lions or tigers or bears but on the other hand you never see a wolf in the circus, do you?

— Lightning paw

still-life-with-pug


Chillin’ With the Chancellor

16 Apr 2016 /
Me and Chancellor Dirks

I was walking west on Durant crossing Telegraph a block south of the UC Berkeley campus (see map below) when I saw a couple of good-looking yellow labs, probably less than a year old, crossing in the other direction.

I was so focused on the dogs that I didn’t notice until I had passed them that they were being walked by none other than the chancellor of the university, Nicholas B. Dirks, and his wife.

Gee, I wish I had gotten a photo with him but rather than run back across the street after him like a nut, I walked north to Bancroft and turned right to parallel the way he was walking on Durant. At the next street, Bowditch, I turned right again toward Durant to see if I could intercept him, which I did.

I’m staying at the Berkeley Lab Guest House, a university facility . . . when I got back to the place, I showed my Dirks photo to the guy at the front desk.

“Recognize this guy?” I asked. “Not me, the other guy.”

“No.”

“It’s Chancellor Dirks.”

“I’ll have to Google him.”

He reminded me of the guys asking Jack Nicklaus for his security badge at the Masters.


Watching Kobe’s Last Game

13 Apr 2016 /

Lightning


Happy National Pet Day

11 Apr 2016 /

I took some selfies for Pet Day:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

— Lightning paw


Ruff Sex

27 Mar 2016 /

I assumed every woman with a dog (not just a wiener dog) is doing this, minus the videos of course . . .

Police charge that the South Carolina suspect got intimate with a Dachshund on her 23rd birthday…

Posted by The Smoking Gun on Friday, March 25, 2016


I’ve Never Even Been to Chicago

16 Mar 2016 /

http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/273263-lightening-strikes-trump-tower-in-chicago-tuesday-night

This is not true, I’ve never even been to Chicago.

— Lightning paw

still-life-with-pug


Affinities Can Kill You

5 Jan 2016 /

Boy, 9, mauled to death by dogs in Yuba CountyThe Sacramento Bee

Lightning at the Dog Park

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

This article says that a 9-year-old (in human years) boy was killed by 3 pit bulls that belonged to his older sister. It says that his sister has an affinity for pit bulls because she thinks that pit bulls are not dangerous even though a lot of people say they are dangerous and that is not fair to pit bulls.

I don’t what an affinity is but it must be something that can kill you or your little brother.

Wait — my owner says “affinity” means something you like, like he has an affinity for pugs and because he has an affinity for pugs, all of his family members are still alive.

If you own a pit bull, you also need to have a pug to keep the pit bull in check.

— Lightning paw


Merry Christmas, Starbucks

20 Dec 2015 /
Starbucks cup

Hi everybody! It’s me, Lightning!

I heard that some people don’t like the Starbucks Christmas cups this year. People are silly. My favorite Starbucks Christmas cup was the one with a dog on a sled but the contents of the cup, that’s the main thing.

I don’t even mind that most of the time my pup cups have someone else’s name on them.

Merry Christmas, Starbucks!

— Lightning paw


My Name is Fido

3 Oct 2015 /

From an actual email:

Hello,

My name is Fido and I’m an IT recruiter at TechDigital Corporation. We are currently hiring a .Net Developer/Software Engineer preferrably [sic] with experience in the Financial domain for a W2 or C2C Contract for one of our direct clients in Green Bay, WI.

Fido Xavier
Recruiter

  1. I live in California. Are there no software engineers in Wisconsin or anywhere between California and Wisconsin?
  2. On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.

Thus spoke The Programmer.


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